How do you approach girls/women when they are in a group setting?

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LFGG2234
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#1
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#1
I have no problem talking to women when they are obviously on their own.
But when I see a girl that I fancy being in a group, or simply with her friend (Duo) I struggle to go up to them.
I HATE interupting people mid-convo and I do get nervous in just barging in their conversations un-invited.

Any tips in managine these scenarios?
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Han Seojun
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#2
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#2
Stop being a weirdo and use dating apps
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LFGG2234
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#3
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#3
(Original post by Han Seojun)
Stop being a weirdo and use dating apps
huh?
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CaptainCaptcha
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#4
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#4
(Original post by LFGG2234)
I have no problem talking to women when they are obviously on their own.
But when I see a girl that I fancy being in a group, or simply with her friend (Duo) I struggle to go up to them.
I HATE interupting people mid-convo and I do get nervous in just barging in their conversations un-invited.

Any tips in managine these scenarios?
https://store.steampowered.com/app/6...Talk_to_Girls/
This is very useful.
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Little pecker
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#5
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#5
Push her friends out the way
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Han Seojun
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#6
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#6
(Original post by LFGG2234)
huh?
You idiot, download dating apps at least the women on them want to date someone.
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Anholm
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#7
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#7
(Original post by LFGG2234)
I have no problem talking to women when they are obviously on their own.
But when I see a girl that I fancy being in a group, or simply with her friend (Duo) I struggle to go up to them.
I HATE interupting people mid-convo and I do get nervous in just barging in their conversations un-invited.

Any tips in managine these scenarios?
Walk up to the group and say hello, it works for me🤣
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rosy_posy
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#8
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#8
Don't bother her then. Even if she is standing alone, just don't approach her. I would find it creepy if someone just walked up to me and started chatting me up.
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LFGG2234
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#9
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#9
(Original post by rosy_posy)
Don't bother her then. Even if she is standing alone, just don't approach her. I would find it creepy if someone just walked up to me and started chatting me up.
Then how the F am I supposed to meet new girls to date, or at least build friendships with?

Dating apps are cool, but become superficial over time.
Last edited by LFGG2234; 1 month ago
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rosy_posy
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#10
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#10
(Original post by LFGG2234)
Then how the F am I supposed to meet new girls to date, or at least build friendships with?

Or should I just never talk to anyone anymore unless its online?
Seems shallow.
I thought girls LOVED confidence.
Woah okay chill. You can approach girls ofc but preferably in a setting where you already know her (school, a society, etc.). If you approached a stranger on the street asking for a date it comes off wrong.
Online dating isn't for serious relationships most of the time.
Confidence helps but if you seem pushy then it will put girls off.
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LFGG2234
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#11
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#11
(Original post by rosy_posy)
Woah okay chill. You can approach girls ofc but preferably in a setting where you already know her (school, a society, etc.). If you approached a stranger on the street asking for a date it comes off wrong.
Online dating isn't for serious relationships most of the time.
Confidence helps but if you seem pushy then it will put girls off.
yeah I mean phrasing like that is off-putting, im not going to approach complete randoms to ask directly for a date, but a nice chat can lead to somewhere..
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Dunnig Kruger
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#12
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#12
(Original post by rosy_posy)
Woah okay chill. You can approach girls ofc but preferably in a setting where you already know her (school, a society, etc.). If you approached a stranger on the street asking for a date it comes off wrong.
Online dating isn't for serious relationships most of the time.
Confidence helps but if you seem pushy then it will put girls off.
That's a negative spin to put on things.

Most single women would be delighted if a compatible person went up to them whilst they were out in public and broke the ice and they ended up on a date and then ended up in a romantic relationship.

Surveys indicate that about 40% of couples met via online means. And that this proportion is growing. Are you going to tell most of them that they are not serious?

It's fine if a man makes it apparent very early on that he would be potentially interested in a woman. It's better than talking about the weather, or the location that they are at, or politics or whatever's been on the news lately. It's honest and open to make no apologies for being a man that is attracted to women. It becomes pushy when the man lacks social calibration or gets butt hurt at any rejection or gets defensive when the woman gives him tests.
As long as the vibe is "I'm a man that's attracted to you as a woman. But I have reservations as we've only just met and don't know each other yet. So let's get to know each other better. As long as we are both having fun, that's the main thing. You can bail at any time. And I'd want you to bail if you aren't enjoying yourself. So let's see how things go and how we get on." more women will be put on than put off.

(Original post by LFGG2234)
I have no problem talking to women when they are obviously on their own.
But when I see a girl that I fancy being in a group, or simply with her friend (Duo) I struggle to go up to them.
I HATE interupting people mid-convo and I do get nervous in just barging in their conversations un-invited.

Any tips in managine these scenarios?
The biggest tip I can give you is to face down you fears and go ahead and start breaking the ice with groups of women as often as you can.
It may help if you start taking yourself and your life less seriously. Todays embarrasing episode is next year's amusing anecdote.

It really is no big deal going up to 2 or more people and opening your mouth and making some noises. Some or all of which may be intelligible words.

Aim to win the group over, if you can.
If you want to talk to 1 person inparticular in a group, you can always start asking questions about them such as "So who is the biggest trouble-maker amongst you?" Or "She seems like the feisty one. Is she always like this?" And use this as a way to bring your "target" into the conversation.
It all depends on the circumstances as to how easy it is to isolate one of them from the rest of the group.
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hungrysalamander
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Han Seojun)
You idiot, download dating apps at least the women on them want to date someone.
Dating apps are impossible for men below 6’
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Old Skool Freak
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#14
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#14
(Original post by rosy_posy)
Don't bother her then. Even if she is standing alone, just don't approach her. I would find it creepy if someone just walked up to me and started chatting me up.
Why?!?

That's how people have traditionally met new people for decades... dating apps etc. have only existed in abundance for less than 20 years.

Assuming the OP is talking about approaching people in bars, clubs etc. (and approaching in a respectful, non-sleazy way), I don't see why it's so "creepy".
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Crazed cat lady
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#15
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#15
(Original post by rosy_posy)
Don't bother her then. Even if she is standing alone, just don't approach her. I would find it creepy if someone just walked up to me and started chatting me up.
Depends how it is done. I'm receptive to guys coming up to me and being chatty in the right environment (pubs, clubs, cafes, etc.) but a lot of men start out by coming on too strong which instantly gets my defences up.
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Old Skool Freak
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#16
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#16
(Original post by LFGG2234)
I have no problem talking to women when they are obviously on their own.
But when I see a girl that I fancy being in a group, or simply with her friend (Duo) I struggle to go up to them.
I HATE interupting people mid-convo and I do get nervous in just barging in their conversations un-invited.

Any tips in managine these scenarios?
Right, I'm assuming you're talking about approaching people in generally social places, such as the pub / club scenario.

In that case, you might want to read up a bit on body-language... if you know what to look for, there are general queues people will give off which gives a better indication on whether or not a group of people would be OK with another person joining their group . For example, if two people are talking, and are facing each other at an angle (and possibly looking around occasionally), they're (generally) more receptive of a third party joining their conversation than if they're facing each other dead-on and they clearly have each others full attention.

On a night out, say, the girls who are most receptive to talking to people tend to be those in groups of 2-3. It's perhaps best if you have a friend (e.g. a wingman) to talk to the other girl(s) while you concentrate more on the one you're interested with. Having said that you'd need to show some attention / consideration to her friend, as her "bessie" has to approve you, otherwise she'll perform the "c**k-block" manoeuvre. If you have to talk to them both without a mate, then keeping something like a 70:30 ratio of attention is a good bet. Popular conversation topics can be how they know each other, why they're out etc.

The other thing to do is to make sure they can see you approaching them. That way, if you spot an "Oh no, he's coming over" type look, you can dodge them at the last minute and save any awkward interactions.

Avoid very large groups of girls like the plague (unless you're a stripper lol). The large group of girls on the p**s may seem like rich pickings, but it often results in abuse and humiliation (just take my word for it ). If you're feeling exceptionally brave (or suicidal lol), it's best to approach one girl when she's away from everyone (e.g. going to the bar etc.)... the mistake people do here, is they'll go for the most drunk girl in the group. Remember her less intoxicated mates will be watching her like a hawk and woe-betide anyone who's considering taking advantage of that.
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Gene1278
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#17
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#17
Talking to another human is considered weird Interesting
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LFGG2234
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Gene1278)
Talking to another human is considered weird Interesting
I mean looking at young people now glued to their phone who have zero balls to look others in the eye.
Your statement is sadly true.
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Dunnig Kruger
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#19
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#19
(Original post by Old Skool Freak)
Right, I'm assuming you're talking about approaching people in generally social places, such as the pub / club scenario.

In that case, you might want to read up a bit on body-language... if you know what to look for, there are general queues people will give off which gives a better indication on whether or not a group of people would be OK with another person joining their group . For example, if two people are talking, and are facing each other at an angle (and possibly looking around occasionally), they're (generally) more receptive of a third party joining their conversation than if they're facing each other dead-on and they clearly have each others full attention.

On a night out, say, the girls who are most receptive to talking to people tend to be those in groups of 2-3. It's perhaps best if you have a friend (e.g. a wingman) to talk to the other girl(s) while you concentrate more on the one you're interested with. Having said that you'd need to show some attention / consideration to her friend, as her "bessie" has to approve you, otherwise she'll perform the "c**k-block" manoeuvre. If you have to talk to them both without a mate, then keeping something like a 70:30 ratio of attention is a good bet. Popular conversation topics can be how they know each other, why they're out etc.

The other thing to do is to make sure they can see you approaching them. That way, if you spot an "Oh no, he's coming over" type look, you can dodge them at the last minute and save any awkward interactions.

Avoid very large groups of girls like the plague (unless you're a stripper lol). The large group of girls on the p**s may seem like rich pickings, but it often results in abuse and humiliation (just take my word for it ). If you're feeling exceptionally brave (or suicidal lol), it's best to approach one girl when she's away from everyone (e.g. going to the bar etc.)... the mistake people do here, is they'll go for the most drunk girl in the group. Remember her less intoxicated mates will be watching her like a hawk and woe-betide anyone who's considering taking advantage of that.
Body language is extremely hard to read. To the extent that it's not worth cherry picking which groups to approach based on their body language. Just go up to and break the ice with as many groups as you can or want to - regardless of the body language.

If they turn around and give you an extremely rude and hostile response, you simply treat it as a **** test. **** tests are easy to learn how to pass.
If after passing their test they are still extremely rude, you just pass the test again.

If despite your best efforts and you passing all their tests, you are not able to strike up a conversation, then it's the group that will look like ignorant fools, not you.

Abuse and humiliation from large groups. Bring it on. It's only them dishing out **** tests. Once you've learnt how to pass **** tests and had some practise doing so, you will welcome these tests.
EG one of them says "Is that your best chat up line?"
"Yes I say this all the time when I meet someone. I said it to my grandma this morning and her knickers instantly fell to her ankles. That was a bit too much, even for me."

Or one of them says
"Go away weirdo!"
You turn to the others in the group with a smile "Is she always this feisty?" ..."I like a feisty woman."



(Original post by LFGG2234)
I mean looking at young people now glued to their phone who have zero balls to look others in the eye.
Your statement is sadly true.
Just start talking to someone. If they are on their mobile phone indicate that they should give you their attention.
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Old Skool Freak
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#20
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#20
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Body language is extremely hard to read. To the extent that it's not worth cherry picking which groups to approach based on their body language. Just go up to and break the ice with as many groups as you can or want to - regardless of the body language.
I'm not talking about over-analysing every little detail or treating Body language like an academic subject, I mean just getting a few basic pointers that suggest a person or group is likely to be up for having someone join them. The OP said he's not comfortable just interrupting someone, so it's just something extra to help him guess how welcome his approach would be.


If they turn around and give you an extremely rude and hostile response, you simply treat it as a **** test. **** tests are easy to learn how to pass.
If after passing their test they are still extremely rude, you just pass the test again.

If despite your best efforts and you passing all their tests, you are not able to strike up a conversation, then it's the group that will look like ignorant fools, not you.
See, I'd be different, and I wouldn't waste my time. If someone was really rude to me from the outset (and I know didn't approach her in a "creepy" way), I would think that she's done me a favour... she's shown me just what a "female dog" she is straight away instead of messing with my head 2-3 months down the line. I'd be glad I dodged that bullet.

Abuse and humiliation from large groups. Bring it on. It's only them dishing out **** tests. Once you've learnt how to pass **** tests and had some practise doing so, you will welcome these tests.
Sorry, but i completely disagree with this bit, and I still say that very large groups are best avoided (unless you can chat to one of them away from the main group).

From my experience, the kind of girls who tend to be "open" to being approached by random guys tend to be those out in small groups of 2-4. When you get those very large groups of girls, they're more likely to be celebrating something specific and are more interested in bonding with each other. Guys trying to infiltrate them tend to be (at best) a pest / nuisance (you never know, they could genuinely be lesbians lol).

Even if they don't (in no uncertain terms) tell him to "get lost", chances are he'll become their plaything... by this I mean they'll make a complete fool out of him, but he may still play along deluded thinking that he'll get with one of them (extremely unlikely, unless it's out of pity).

EG one of them says "Is that your best chat up line?"
"Yes I say this all the time when I meet someone. I said it to my grandma this morning and her knickers instantly fell to her ankles. That was a bit too much, even for me."

Or one of them says
"Go away weirdo!"
You turn to the others in the group with a smile "Is she always this feisty?" ..."I like a feisty woman."
Erm... I'll overlook the cringe factor of your first example, and just say that I don't think that approach would work.

Large groups of women together tend to form a bit of a pack mentality (N.B. If you ever say the wrong thing on a female orientated chatroom / forum, you're likely get a vicious flaming, with everyone jumping on the bandwagon). Chances are they'll all have a similar opinion. It's also likely to be the group leader (the Queen Bee) who'll express their disapproval of you, so they'll inevitably all have her back.

I think the best way to infiltrate a large group is to first talk to one of them away from the main group... you're far more likely to get approval if someone from within said group introduces you to everyone else. Furthermore, if it's a large mixed group, you'll come across as far less threatening if you talk to someone of the same sex (they can then give you the lowdown on who's single etc.)

Anyway, I don't wish to argue about it, we're two different people offering two different perspectives. The OP can read what we've written and make up his own mind which he's best suited for.
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