Flatmate wants me to move out!
Just wanted to gain an outsiders perspective on my situation. My flatmate texted me the other day saying that he wanted me to move out.
We both have a joint tenancy on the flat. I've been there 3 years and he's been there 7 years. He messaged me the reasons he wanted me to leave, they were:
- Filling the washing machine with low loads.
- Endless baths (I have 2 shallow ones equal to 5/10 min shower to relax me after long shifts)
- Leaving washing in the sink (A couple of tea mugs/spoons/small plates etc, I wash it up after a day. Absolute max 2 days on occasions if I'm busy running around!
- He hates the atmosphere in the flat. (Basically, we don't talk anymore because I politely told him 2 months ago that his boyfriend was staying over a bit too much and the living arrangements were unbalanced for me. Btw his boyfriend has a place of his own and I barely get a night to myself in my flat!)
Ever since the last point, he doesn't want to speak to me. He wanted me to move out but doesn't want to talk to me about the stuff listed above or find a resolution.
Other points to make, during the first UK lockdown I moved out as he was shielding because he has a weak immune system. I was required to go into work on occasional periods during the weekend so I took reasonable measures and was accomodating to his needs. I moved back to my parents for 4 months whilst still maintaining the rent on my flat during this period. At least every month (apart from the last lockdown) I also go home to my parents, so again he has the flat to himself.
He's portraying me as a bad flatmate and I'm convinced he wants me to move out so he can move his partner in.
I'm not in a position to financially to move out, and to be honest I quite like where I like despite living with this difficult guy.
Do you think this situation is really unfair?
We both have a joint tenancy on the flat. I've been there 3 years and he's been there 7 years. He messaged me the reasons he wanted me to leave, they were:
- Filling the washing machine with low loads.
- Endless baths (I have 2 shallow ones equal to 5/10 min shower to relax me after long shifts)
- Leaving washing in the sink (A couple of tea mugs/spoons/small plates etc, I wash it up after a day. Absolute max 2 days on occasions if I'm busy running around!
- He hates the atmosphere in the flat. (Basically, we don't talk anymore because I politely told him 2 months ago that his boyfriend was staying over a bit too much and the living arrangements were unbalanced for me. Btw his boyfriend has a place of his own and I barely get a night to myself in my flat!)
Ever since the last point, he doesn't want to speak to me. He wanted me to move out but doesn't want to talk to me about the stuff listed above or find a resolution.
Other points to make, during the first UK lockdown I moved out as he was shielding because he has a weak immune system. I was required to go into work on occasional periods during the weekend so I took reasonable measures and was accomodating to his needs. I moved back to my parents for 4 months whilst still maintaining the rent on my flat during this period. At least every month (apart from the last lockdown) I also go home to my parents, so again he has the flat to himself.
He's portraying me as a bad flatmate and I'm convinced he wants me to move out so he can move his partner in.
I'm not in a position to financially to move out, and to be honest I quite like where I like despite living with this difficult guy.
Do you think this situation is really unfair?
Original post by Anonymous
Just wanted to gain an outsiders perspective on my situation. My flatmate texted me the other day saying that he wanted me to move out.
We both have a joint tenancy on the flat. I've been there 3 years and he's been there 7 years. He messaged me the reasons he wanted me to leave, they were:
- Filling the washing machine with low loads.
- Endless baths (I have 2 shallow ones equal to 5/10 min shower to relax me after long shifts)
- Leaving washing in the sink (A couple of tea mugs/spoons/small plates etc, I wash it up after a day. Absolute max 2 days on occasions if I'm busy running around!
- He hates the atmosphere in the flat. (Basically, we don't talk anymore because I politely told him 2 months ago that his boyfriend was staying over a bit too much and the living arrangements were unbalanced for me. Btw his boyfriend has a place of his own and I barely get a night to myself in my flat!)
Ever since the last point, he doesn't want to speak to me. He wanted me to move out but doesn't want to talk to me about the stuff listed above or find a resolution.
Other points to make, during the first UK lockdown I moved out as he was shielding because he has a weak immune system. I was required to go into work on occasional periods during the weekend so I took reasonable measures and was accomodating to his needs. I moved back to my parents for 4 months whilst still maintaining the rent on my flat during this period. At least every month (apart from the last lockdown) I also go home to my parents, so again he has the flat to himself.
He's portraying me as a bad flatmate and I'm convinced he wants me to move out so he can move his partner in.
I'm not in a position to financially to move out, and to be honest I quite like where I like despite living with this difficult guy.
Do you think this situation is really unfair?
We both have a joint tenancy on the flat. I've been there 3 years and he's been there 7 years. He messaged me the reasons he wanted me to leave, they were:
- Filling the washing machine with low loads.
- Endless baths (I have 2 shallow ones equal to 5/10 min shower to relax me after long shifts)
- Leaving washing in the sink (A couple of tea mugs/spoons/small plates etc, I wash it up after a day. Absolute max 2 days on occasions if I'm busy running around!
- He hates the atmosphere in the flat. (Basically, we don't talk anymore because I politely told him 2 months ago that his boyfriend was staying over a bit too much and the living arrangements were unbalanced for me. Btw his boyfriend has a place of his own and I barely get a night to myself in my flat!)
Ever since the last point, he doesn't want to speak to me. He wanted me to move out but doesn't want to talk to me about the stuff listed above or find a resolution.
Other points to make, during the first UK lockdown I moved out as he was shielding because he has a weak immune system. I was required to go into work on occasional periods during the weekend so I took reasonable measures and was accomodating to his needs. I moved back to my parents for 4 months whilst still maintaining the rent on my flat during this period. At least every month (apart from the last lockdown) I also go home to my parents, so again he has the flat to himself.
He's portraying me as a bad flatmate and I'm convinced he wants me to move out so he can move his partner in.
I'm not in a position to financially to move out, and to be honest I quite like where I like despite living with this difficult guy.
Do you think this situation is really unfair?
If you’re OK with the atmosphere being awkward just stay. Regardless of how long he’s been there, you pay rent and the place is as much yours as it is his. Hopefully if the hates the atmosphere so much he’ll stay at his boyfriend’s more.
Original post by GabiAbi84
He can’t make you leave if you have a joint tenancy so you just tell him you’re not going to move out.
It's the thoughts I had exactly. Just treading on eggshells and hoping he gets the message!
Original post by Anonymous
If you’re OK with the atmosphere being awkward just stay. Regardless of how long he’s been there, you pay rent and the place is as much yours as it is his. Hopefully if the hates the atmosphere so much he’ll stay at his boyfriend’s more.
That's the issue, not a pleasant experience, I'll probably move anyway but on my terms when I'm ready.
Why is it up to your flatmate what happens? Is he also the landlord?
If it's not his decision, I would treat it like having an issue at work: save the messages and keep a diary of what happened (like you've mentioned above), so you can respond if any queries. Otherwise, stick with it if you can. There's maybe some financial penalty for ending the tenancy early, and you'd have the hassle of finding somewhere else, and you might struggle to find somewhere suitable. Why should you have to go through all that?
You could tell him he has to do the hard work and find you somewhere equivalent to live, and you're not moving unless it's the perfect place and he covers all the costs of moving!
If it's not his decision, I would treat it like having an issue at work: save the messages and keep a diary of what happened (like you've mentioned above), so you can respond if any queries. Otherwise, stick with it if you can. There's maybe some financial penalty for ending the tenancy early, and you'd have the hassle of finding somewhere else, and you might struggle to find somewhere suitable. Why should you have to go through all that?
You could tell him he has to do the hard work and find you somewhere equivalent to live, and you're not moving unless it's the perfect place and he covers all the costs of moving!
Original post by will1995
It's the thoughts I had exactly. Just treading on eggshells and hoping he gets the message!
I will say though that
Point1) is there any particular reason you’re running small loads? It wastes energy, water and detergent and is more time that the machine is running.
Point2)what is it he is concerned/annoyed about with this? Is it water usage or time taken in the bathroom?
Point 3) yeah, leaving plates and cutlery lying for a day or two in a shared flat is kinda rubbish. The smell, the inconvenience at having no sink and the clutter. You should easily be able to address that.
Point 4-bad atmosphere is definitely a reason to hate living where you live/who you live with. Can you not attempt to clear the air and coexist more peacefully? Plus you’re not owed the flat to yourself at any time. You pay to share, it doesn’t really matter whether you choose to stay elsewhere and he ends up with the flat to himself unless he’s asking you to do so.
With the shielding-did he ask you to move out? If so then why did you not agree a lower portion of rent for those months? And if not, and you chose to do so, then you don’t really get to throw that back at him any time he brings up an issue.
Original post by Anonymous
Just wanted to gain an outsiders perspective on my situation. My flatmate texted me the other day saying that he wanted me to move out.
We both have a joint tenancy on the flat. I've been there 3 years and he's been there 7 years. He messaged me the reasons he wanted me to leave, they were:
- Filling the washing machine with low loads.
- Endless baths (I have 2 shallow ones equal to 5/10 min shower to relax me after long shifts)
- Leaving washing in the sink (A couple of tea mugs/spoons/small plates etc, I wash it up after a day. Absolute max 2 days on occasions if I'm busy running around!
- He hates the atmosphere in the flat. (Basically, we don't talk anymore because I politely told him 2 months ago that his boyfriend was staying over a bit too much and the living arrangements were unbalanced for me. Btw his boyfriend has a place of his own and I barely get a night to myself in my flat!)
Ever since the last point, he doesn't want to speak to me. He wanted me to move out but doesn't want to talk to me about the stuff listed above or find a resolution.
Other points to make, during the first UK lockdown I moved out as he was shielding because he has a weak immune system. I was required to go into work on occasional periods during the weekend so I took reasonable measures and was accomodating to his needs. I moved back to my parents for 4 months whilst still maintaining the rent on my flat during this period. At least every month (apart from the last lockdown) I also go home to my parents, so again he has the flat to himself.
He's portraying me as a bad flatmate and I'm convinced he wants me to move out so he can move his partner in.
I'm not in a position to financially to move out, and to be honest I quite like where I like despite living with this difficult guy.
Do you think this situation is really unfair?
We both have a joint tenancy on the flat. I've been there 3 years and he's been there 7 years. He messaged me the reasons he wanted me to leave, they were:
- Filling the washing machine with low loads.
- Endless baths (I have 2 shallow ones equal to 5/10 min shower to relax me after long shifts)
- Leaving washing in the sink (A couple of tea mugs/spoons/small plates etc, I wash it up after a day. Absolute max 2 days on occasions if I'm busy running around!
- He hates the atmosphere in the flat. (Basically, we don't talk anymore because I politely told him 2 months ago that his boyfriend was staying over a bit too much and the living arrangements were unbalanced for me. Btw his boyfriend has a place of his own and I barely get a night to myself in my flat!)
Ever since the last point, he doesn't want to speak to me. He wanted me to move out but doesn't want to talk to me about the stuff listed above or find a resolution.
Other points to make, during the first UK lockdown I moved out as he was shielding because he has a weak immune system. I was required to go into work on occasional periods during the weekend so I took reasonable measures and was accomodating to his needs. I moved back to my parents for 4 months whilst still maintaining the rent on my flat during this period. At least every month (apart from the last lockdown) I also go home to my parents, so again he has the flat to himself.
He's portraying me as a bad flatmate and I'm convinced he wants me to move out so he can move his partner in.
I'm not in a position to financially to move out, and to be honest I quite like where I like despite living with this difficult guy.
Do you think this situation is really unfair?
I think his points against you are petty and the real reason he wants you to move out is because of what you said about his bf which was completely reasonable.
If you want to stay then stay and be honest with him that you have no immediate plans to move out and that if he wants to change the situation he should move out and find somewhere more suitable with his bf.
He cant make you so tell him to pound sand. That being said, it sounds a thoroughly awkward situation and one, i personally, wouldnt want to be in so id look to move out anyway. Thats not to say you should let him 'win' but staying there doesnt sound like itll be fun for you, whether or not his gripes have merit.
Then again, you could always tell him to **** off and find somewhere else, theres no reason you should have to leave when he has the problem?
Then again, you could always tell him to **** off and find somewhere else, theres no reason you should have to leave when he has the problem?
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