Politics A-Level HELP!!!

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meli77
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#1
Report Thread starter 6 months ago
#1
Hi,

Could someone please check this paragraph for me and give me some feedback? Thank you!

Evaluate the view that the UK has a multi-party system.

The UK does indeed have a multi-party system. A multi-party system is where many parties compete for power and the government consists of a series of coalitions formed by different combinations of parties. In the UK, there are 500 parties which means that the electorate is used to voting for smaller parties. This is proven by the fact that in the 2015 general election, 13.5% of UK voters and 61% of Scottish voters backed parties other than the ‘big two’, showing how the electorate is perfectly capable of supporting smaller parties that don’t reflect the notions of the Conservative and Labour parties. Furthermore, UKIP achieved 124 second places in the 2015 election, and the SNP won 56 seats. This is significant as it shows that any party that was able to mobilise non-voters would stand a chance of winning the elections – in the 2015 general election, that was 34% of registered voters. However, some could argue that the UK doesn’t have a multi-party system because realistically the Labour and Conservative Parties are the only parties that have a chance of forming a government of being the senior partner in a coalition at Westminster. Indeed in 2017, both parties won 82% of the popular vote, meaning that more than 2/3 of the electorate has voted for the ‘big two’. Even in 2015, both parties won 67% of the popular vote and 65% in 2010, suggesting that the majority of the electorate leaves aside the minor parties and explicitly shows that they stand loyal to their parties. Hence, although the UK is traditionally said to operate under a two-party system, the rise of the support of smaller parties such as UKIP and SNP suggest that such a description may no longer be as appropriate as it once was.
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A.B72
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#2
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#2
(Original post by meli77)
Hi,

Could someone please check this paragraph for me and give me some feedback? Thank you!

Evaluate the view that the UK has a multi-party system.

The UK does indeed have a multi-party system. A multi-party system is where many parties compete for power and the government consists of a series of coalitions formed by different combinations of parties. In the UK, there are 500 parties which means that the electorate is used to voting for smaller parties. This is proven by the fact that in the 2015 general election, 13.5% of UK voters and 61% of Scottish voters backed parties other than the ‘big two’, showing how the electorate is perfectly capable of supporting smaller parties that don’t reflect the notions of the Conservative and Labour parties. Furthermore, UKIP achieved 124 second places in the 2015 election, and the SNP won 56 seats. This is significant as it shows that any party that was able to mobilise non-voters would stand a chance of winning the elections – in the 2015 general election, that was 34% of registered voters. However, some could argue that the UK doesn’t have a multi-party system because realistically the Labour and Conservative Parties are the only parties that have a chance of forming a government of being the senior partner in a coalition at Westminster. Indeed in 2017, both parties won 82% of the popular vote, meaning that more than 2/3 of the electorate has voted for the ‘big two’. Even in 2015, both parties won 67% of the popular vote and 65% in 2010, suggesting that the majority of the electorate leaves aside the minor parties and explicitly shows that they stand loyal to their parties. Hence, although the UK is traditionally said to operate under a two-party system, the rise of the support of smaller parties such as UKIP and SNP suggest that such a description may no longer be as appropriate as it once was.
is this the introduction? definitions of key words should go in the introduction. and you should really start a paragraph with 'the first place that a multiparty system can be seen is where...' and then lay out your overall point before going into evidence. just because there are a lot of parties doesnt mean the electorate is used to voting for them so be careful with this, there could be at least 200 parties that exist but no one has voted for them and if you look at our FPTP system how do the parties simple existence place them in the UK political system? in the first part of your paragraph you bring in a lot of very good evidence but you don't evaluate it enough at all- yes scottish voters dont vote the big two but put that down to the popularity of the SNP and their policies being favourable to the scottish electorate- its not enough to just say 'this shows the electorate vote smaller parties too'.

how does voting for a 'big two' party show loyalty? what if i voted tory one year and labour the next? again there isn't enough evaluation here, you're just saying 'lots of people vote for them so they must be big' and not evaluating other factors such as how the popular vote could be misconstrued through our electoral system or why people vote this way. one of the major issues with this paragraph (beside the fact that it is too short) is that its very much 'heres my argument... but some could say this...'. this essay style worked in GCSE but not here. in an a level essay you want to be constantly rethinking your points and sticking holes in all your evidence, constantly arguing each side of the argument throughout the paragraph not leaving the counter to the end.

and another way you could maximise your marks is by having a 'mini conclusion' at the end of all your paragraphs. this paragraph ends with 'but some could say this...' which isnt effective because that's not the argument of your essay. mini conclusions are essentially 'even despite this, i feel that the two party system is not as prominent because the electorate have begun branching out and voting for third parties, diminishing the importance of the 'big two' duopoly'. just rounding off that after you've assessed all of your evidence, you have come to the conclusion that your point is right.

hope this helps xx
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meli77
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#3
Report Thread starter 6 months ago
#3
Thank you so much!
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