Why are religious people so judgemental?

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GenFailure
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#1
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#1
21,First year Uni , Muslim

Im not a great Muslim , I pray all 5 prayers(except fajr which I normally sleep through but im trying to fix that) without fail and I make sure to go to the mosque on Fridays when I don't have lecture and of course I give quite a bit to charity every year BUT except that..

I go to parties, clubs and always try to have a good time (i don't drink tho) im a natural crackhead lol. the issue is that my other religious friends don't approve of my haram friends.

I have a simple mind, it's my life and it's between me and my god, mind your own business. I obviously never said that to them but I wish they would understand that I'm a just a normal guy wanting to have some fun and I'm not hurting their lives at all but they clearly feel they have a right to judge my life.

Also, it annoys me when people say "they are just moving you away from sin" while they smoke 2 packs and smoke shisha every weekend. Its just hyprocrites.
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newndynamic
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#2
I'm not Muslim, but it sounds like you are very active in your religion. You can be a good person and keep the faith even at a party.
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Holamisamigos213
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#3
well can you have non religious friends in islam? can you listen to music? can you go to parties? in islam if no then maybe they are correct even if they are hypocrites, and maybe it isnt judging but just stating a fact and trying to help and i dont mean this in a rude way but maybe you could be seen as a hypocrite also
i am the only so called "religious person" in my friend group they are all christians but not like an active christian and normally when i make mistake they are the first to call me out which is annoying but if you think about it, its helpful and makes me a better christian and person
Last edited by Holamisamigos213; 2 months ago
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notgabriella
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#4
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#4
I think more than being personally attacked by your other friends who share the same faith/beliefs, I think a lot of it is how you are perceived by the rest of the world. If someone broken and hurt in this world sees you doing everything the same way as they do it (clubbing, partying, being around alcohol even if you're not taking it), perhaps they won't think much of your faith and they won't see beyond the party culture. They perhaps do not see how you treasure your faith dearly or how much it means to you.

I've actually had similar struggles recently. Although I have tried not to drink alcohol whilst out partying and having natural fun, the atmosphere and aura built around partying/clubbing draw on a lot of youth culture such as excessive binge drinking, drugs etc and therefore being a part of it places that association on you too.

Of course, being faithful is down to that faith YOU hold on to. Knowing where you are and your views. In yourself, you know you are doing what's best for you.

But like I said, maybe it isn't leaving the best impression on your friends who don't share the same belief, therefore your friends who share similar beliefs may not agree with being around the others. Though they still do not have a reason to judge you; everyone falls short of expectations in some places. It's all about trying to improve, right?

(Sorry for the ramble. Have a lovely weekend.)
Last edited by notgabriella; 2 months ago
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londonmyst
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#5
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#5
It depends on the religious people.
Their personal mentality, ambitions, beliefs, tactics and lifestyle preferences.

Plenty of religious people have hitched their wagon to an ultra-traditionalist or fundamentalist lifestyle founded upon a very harsh absolutist interpretation of ancient religion and are convinced that their specific religious community/it's approach to religion alone has a monopoly on truth, morality & salvation.
A lifestyle that will tolerate no alternative valid interpretations.
Nor opting out and encourages its adherents to have fear & hate for non-believers.
Frequently based upon scriptural infallibility, brutal precedents centuries old, a tradition of religious supremacy and allowing those in positions of power to get into the habit of playing God.

Quite often encouraging followers to adopt a very insular mindset and see the devil & sin almost everywhere that they look.

So that ancient religious teachings and practices are rarely diverted from or subject to direct internal challenges over the generations.
In the hope that there will be relatively little change to religious ideology & practical traditions over the ages and community members can continue to live in a religious bubble with limited independent knowledge or experience of interacting with members of other communities.
Isolating themselves from the prevalent popular national culture and the modern world at large, in the hope of avoiding exposure to its strong secular-humanist cultural values and diverse tapestry of human perspectives on a variety of socio-cultural issues.
Thus strengthening the religious leadership's practical control of their community.
The access to information, control of a large following, their physical power over members of their congregation, political influence and often personal wealth.
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username01934
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#6
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#6
(Original post by number1 Israel)
troll vibes. most muslims don't care if you drink alcohol or go nightclubs
Yeah exactly especially if you are a guy
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number1 Israel
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#7
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(Original post by username01934)
Yeah exactly especially if you are a guy
Same applies for girls, the only ones who genuinely care are the parents or maybe close family and even then if, if they are an adult and financially stable, they can't do much except talk to them
I've met rude or bitter religious muslims and good religious muslims who are not judgemental they don't care if a muslim drinks alcohol or goes nightclubs.


A bitter, jealous or rude person is not related to religiousness because they can encounter rude or bitter non religious folk.
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gracieee16
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#8
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#8
I was very very religious when living near my grandma as she's very religious. church every week. praying before bed and praying for everyone i knew before bed lmao. my mum just isn't very religious but she does have strict boundaries like no sex before marriage and no swearing or smoking or getting drunk. but after going through a lot when moving i lost my faith in God so yeah i have become a mess lol. our family is v judgemental though tbh.

we just wanna follow the rules I guess. but not all of us🤣
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GenFailure
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#9
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#9
(Original post by Holamisamigos213)
well can you have non religious friends in islam? can you listen to music? can you go to parties? in islam if no then maybe they are correct even if they are hypocrites, and maybe it isnt judging but just stating a fact and trying to help and i dont mean this in a rude way but maybe you could be seen as a hypocrite also
i am the only so called "religious person" in my friend group they are all christians but not like an active christian and normally when i make mistake they are the first to call me out which is annoying but if you think about it, its helpful and makes me a better christian and person
Im very aware of ther things that are halal and that are not , i have my desires so its my choice and i dont need people on my back about it.
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Achia
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#10
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#10
This post feels like it was written by me lol
Religious people simply like to feel superior to others and judge others without taking a long hard look at their own iman before commenting on other people's business.
Last edited by Achia; 2 months ago
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Little pecker
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#11
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#11
They have a set of principles and values which you may go against
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pious_follower01
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#12
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#12
We all judge.
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Holamisamigos213
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#13
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(Original post by GenFailure)
Im very aware of ther things that are halal and that are not , i have my desires so its my choice and i dont need people on my back about it.
i am also aware of the things that are haram and not and most of the things i said are. and if your desires goes against your religion then you do need people on your back about it. thats the point of being in a religious community to help ppl get in the right track, and choices dont really matter when there are a set of principles that you have to live by.
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harrysbar
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#14
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The judgemental thing is also very apparent in Christianity. Not that I'm a Christian myself (atheist) but I have relatives who are. The best religious people are the types that mind their own business and accept we are all entitled to our own beliefs and ways of behaving, as long as it's legal.
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londonmyst
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#15
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#15
(Original post by Holamisamigos213)
i am also aware of the things that are haram and not and most of the things i said are. and if your desires goes against your religion then you do need people on your back about it. thats the point of being in a religious community to help ppl get in the right track, and choices dont really matter when there are a set of principles that you have to live by.
Religious affiliation, personal interpretation and practice of religion are all a choice.

Some religious zealots, bullying puritanical jerks and noisy fanatics get in the habit of imposing their own religious lifestyle on others- those who have not asked them for any advice and make it crystal clear that they want nothing to do with them.
Often to the point of violent criminality or harassment without violence.
I grew up surrounded by jerks and fanatics like this.
Some using religion as their justification for their imposition, others atheists who had chosen another dogmatic cause that they believed made their overbearing busybody behaviour automatically acceptable.
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Wired_1800
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#16
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#16
(Original post by GenFailure)
21,First year Uni , Muslim

Im not a great Muslim , I pray all 5 prayers(except fajr which I normally sleep through but im trying to fix that) without fail and I make sure to go to the mosque on Fridays when I don't have lecture and of course I give quite a bit to charity every year BUT except that..

I go to parties, clubs and always try to have a good time (i don't drink tho) im a natural crackhead lol. the issue is that my other religious friends don't approve of my haram friends.

I have a simple mind, it's my life and it's between me and my god, mind your own business. I obviously never said that to them but I wish they would understand that I'm a just a normal guy wanting to have some fun and I'm not hurting their lives at all but they clearly feel they have a right to judge my life.

Also, it annoys me when people say "they are just moving you away from sin" while they smoke 2 packs and smoke shisha every weekend. Its just hyprocrites.
Some religious people would judge those people who are not congruent or consistent in their ways. This means that their words don't match their actions.

It is hypocritical for one to say that the belief or follow a particular framework of living or religious doctrine but behaving or doing things that goes against said doctrine or code. It makes the person appear to be insane. It is better to say that they don't believe in anything and live their lives accordingly than to claim to do so, but are hypocrites.

Yes, I agree that it is also hypocritical for people to claim that they are trying to save you from sin, when they are lowkey committing the same sin. It would be best to avoid those people because they are more dangerous than they claim to be.

Finally, I think it is important for people to say what they mean and mean what they say. Don't be a hypocrite. One should either be in or out, no middle ground.

PS: just my opinion.
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londonmyst
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#17
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(Original post by harrysbar)
The judgemental thing is also very apparent in Christianity. Not that I'm a Christian myself (atheist) but I have relatives who are. The best religious people are the types that mind their own business and accept we are all entitled to our own beliefs and ways of behaving, as long as it's legal.
PRSOM.
I agree that the best types of people are generally the types that are good at minding their own business and accept every law abiding person has the right to choose their own beliefs, values and lifestyle preferences.
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harrysbar
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(Original post by londonmyst)
PRSOM.
I agree that the best types of people are generally the types that are good at minding their own business and accept every law abiding person has the right to choose their own beliefs, values and lifestyle preferences.
You’re also on PRSOM 😂
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Holamisamigos213
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#19
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(Original post by londonmyst)
Religious affiliation, personal interpretation and practice of religion are all a choice.

Some religious zealots, bullying puritanical jerks and noisy fanatics get in the habit of imposing their own religious lifestyle on others- those who have not asked them for any advice and make it crystal clear that they want nothing to do with them.
Often to the point of violent criminality or harassment without violence.
I grew up surrounded by jerks and fanatics like this.
Some using religion as their justification for their imposition, others atheists who had chosen another dogmatic cause that they believed made their overbearing busybody behaviour automatically acceptable.
idk what your second para is to do with what i said but to do with your first point yes its a choice but i do want to clarify im not a Muslim but i do know a lot about Islam and well if the Quran says to do something and not do something you follow it, it says clearly in the Quran that its words are clear and not to be interpretated, its very black and white, you do something and you dont do somehing. me and you have choices and free will but there is also the law that we are all held by, thats just like islam, and op is doing things that are universally deemed as wrong in Islam, i personally dont care im not a Muslim nor do i know him but im just saying what it looks like.
Last edited by Holamisamigos213; 2 months ago
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londonmyst
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#20
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#20
(Original post by Holamisamigos213)
idk what your second para is to do with what i said but to do with your first point yes its a choice but i do want to clarify im not a Muslim but i do know a lot about Islam and well if the Quran says to do something and not do something you follow it, it says clearly in the Quran that its words are clear and not to be interpretated, its very black and white, you do something and you dont do somehing. me and you have choices and free will but there is also the law that we are all held by, thats just like islam, and op is doing things that are universally deemed as wrong in Islam, i personally dont care im not a Muslim nor do i know him but im just saying what it looks like.
I'm not a follower of islam either.
My undergrad and first postgrad are in theology, I have studied islam for over two decades.

There are multiple different approaches to religion and frequently many different interpretations of the content & context of ancient religious books of scripture.
Only the fundamentalist camp has hitched their religious wagon to scripturally infallibility, religious absolutism, always taking the literal interpretation to books of religious scripture and sometimes viewing one specific translation or published version as inerrant.

This applies to the abrahamic religions, hinduism, buddhism and many other ancient religions.
That is why there are many religious scholars & faith leaders who specialise in interpreting the meaning of religious texts, the relevance in relation to specific scenarios and how applicable they are to modern day problems being experienced by a member of their community who has requested advice or clarification from them.
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