How’s it like being raised without religion

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Noiros
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#1
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I was raised with religion and didn’t have a great experience and so don’t want to do the same if I have children. Does anyone who was raised without any faith have a good and successful upbringing, life etc. ?
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kubakuba
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you can teach your child to be a decent person without religion. i was raised christian, and although i didn't despise it, i always found church boring and didn't relate to anything they talked about so i'm an atheist now.
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stillcrying
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(Original post by Noiros)
I was raised with religion and didn’t have a great experience and so don’t want to do the same if I have children. Does anyone who was raised without any faith have a good and successful upbringing, life etc. ?
I personally think it's a good thing to let a child find their own way in life when it comes to religious beliefs. That way, they won't be annoyed that you might've forced a way of life on them, and religion is quite a significant thing to force on a child in my opinion. My parents aren't religious, and the only time I ever learnt about religion was in school, and for a time, I did think there might be a God. I realised later it was only because I was an impressionable young child and concluded I was an atheist once my mum passed away from cancer when I was 13. Simply because there was no reason for 'God' to cause that. If they want to find solace in God, they will on their own. But don't force it on them as it's not your life to control. I have a problem with religion being taught in schools anyway, especially to young children...

As an aside: I'm fine with people being religious as it's up to the individual to believe in what's best for them. I just don't agree when it's forced on someone.
Last edited by stillcrying; 8 months ago
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Admit-One
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Aside from a few school led things in primary school, I had no faith related aspect to my upbringing at all.

I couldn’t say that it’s had any negative affect on my outlook. I’m tolerant, (excepting any forms of bigotry), kind and respectful in the way I go about my life.

I’m not really sure why people both with religion at all tbh, but if they find some peace with it, it’s cool with me.
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64Lightbulbs
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it was alright. not having answers to a lot of the things that religion explains (why do bad things happen, what happens when you die, why should i be a good person, etc.) really freaked me out as a kid, but i grew out of that pretty quickly. personally, i think i would've dealt with being told i could go to hell as a child worse.
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Noiros
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(Original post by stillcrying)
I personally think it's a good thing to let a child find their own way in life when it comes to religious beliefs. That way, they won't be annoyed that you might've forced a way of life on them, and religion is quite a significant thing to force on a child in my opinion. My parents aren't religious, and the only time I ever learnt about religion was in school, and for a time, I did think there might be a God. I realised later it was only because I was an impressionable young child and concluded I was an atheist once my mum passed away from cancer when I was 13. Simply because there was no reason for 'God' to cause that. If they want to find solace in God, they will on their own. But don't force it on them as it's not your life to control. I have a problem with religion being taught in schools anyway, especially to young children...

Thank you for your response and sharing your experience. It’s interesting how you talk about religion as being imposed on children, I completely agree that it’s significant and can really adversely impact a child’s mind.
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Noiros
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(Original post by 64Lightbulbs)
it was alright. not having answers to a lot of the things that religion explains (why do bad things happen, what happens when you die, why should i be a good person, etc.) really freaked me out as a kid, but i grew out of that pretty quickly. personally, i think i would've dealt with being told i could go to hell as a child worse.
Agree. Plus you could always tell your child that we done know if there’s a God but that it’s their choice to believe and also in Heaven. That way those questions are sort of answered and there’s no hell either.
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64Lightbulbs
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(Original post by Noiros)
Agree. Plus you could always tell your child that we done know if there’s a God but that it’s their choice to believe and also in Heaven. That way those questions are sort of answered and there’s no hell either.
if someone told me there was a possibility god existed/heaven/etc. when i was a little kid dealing with death/grief i would have probably defaulted to that cause little kids are much better with the emotional reasoning of "will this make me feel better" than the reasoned choice to be religious. like, I don't think that would have really been my "choice" to believe, rather than a way of coping.

that's why a lot of religions heavy on converting people encourage members to reach out to people dealing with grief or serious illness. cause it's a way of coping, and it works on adults too.
Last edited by 64Lightbulbs; 8 months ago
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ForestShadow
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#9
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(Original post by Noiros)
Does anyone who was raised without any faith have a good and successful upbringing, life etc. ?
Yes Ive had a good and successful upbringing, life

Source: I got a job and a sense of humour so all good here
Last edited by ForestShadow; 8 months ago
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zxinab_xxx
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(Original post by Noiros)
I was raised with religion and didn’t have a great experience and so don’t want to do the same if I have children. Does anyone who was raised without any faith have a good and successful upbringing, life etc. ?
Personally, religion has helped me in my life a lot, I'm not exaggerating I'm a teen even now so im young (and can relate in these more modern times) and i can say it helps me to be a better person everyday - not kidding.

My decisions are always affected i would say to be good bc of religion (obviously a lot of the time i can make the wrong decision - but i would say bc of my religion i don't beat myself up for it as much) and honestly without it I dont think i would be as much of a better person than i try to be now. I think i would feel so lost without it as then i would think whats the point of being good if nothing happens aftertwards (if you dont get caught obviously) but knowing that there is a god and heaven i dont think like that - and think of the consequences for after)

I would say it doesnt depend on if your raised with it (i would 100% recommend it) but how you are raised with it and i am just so grateful i was born into a family with my religion (which is islam - the religion of peace - which is so misunderstood by the western media and many uneducated people).

Plus i might not be the most practicing but now i am striving to be. I also would say it gives me a lot of answers to my questions and gives me freedom etc. Coming from a family that went through a divorce and many other challenges such as illnesses with my siblings - it has helped me soo much and honestly i think i have had a succesful outcome. It depends on how u teach it <-- a very important thing and not on if you should be raised without it.
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username4522078
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#11
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#11
Yeah, lots of people grew up to live fantastic lives without religion. It's not about religion its about good parenting.
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Proxenus
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very scary. I had no one to guide me to the light now I have Allah to light the torch for me in the cave of eternal darkness
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ran-dumb
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#13
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My parents are christian and brought me up that way, and now being away from all that, I'm very against telling a kid what to believe in. They'll just take what you say as true and take part of that as their identity just to question it at some point in their lives. Nothing wrong with advertising your religion to adults, but I find it really unfair to unsuspecting kids. If a kid is really 'lost' and wants answers for religious things then that's fine, but only because they wanted it.
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meymey:)
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(Original post by Noiros)
I was raised with religion and didn’t have a great experience and so don’t want to do the same if I have children. Does anyone who was raised without any faith have a good and successful upbringing, life etc. ?
Hi, I'm a muslim and i was raised one. I just want to say that religion definitely helps me out on a daily basis as a teenager. my parents never enforced strict rules on me or forced me to do islamic activities that i would find boring as a child but taught me from a more spiritual aspect and knowing that Allah (God) is there for me got me through some tough times in school and etc. It also always helped me to have more of a clear view of who i want to be and gave me morals. The way my parents did things made me choose to follow rules in islam myself and develop my own opinions. They have also always focused on how being a good human and having good intentions will always work out for you regardless of what anyone else says and does.

I know that your question is different to what i wrote above but I just wanted to say that regardless of my personal beliefs I would say that Im sure they are people who have had a good upbringing without any faith and that depends on their parents way of raising them. There are also many examples of people who I have seen kids with ultra strict parents who ended up growing far from their religion and never truly had any faith as it was wrongly enforced on them as children. So its more about the parents in terms of the upbringing.

However, at the same time faith does have a way of grounding you and giving you a purpose of life so in that way it can be very beneficial with kids and young people to have a moral example to follow. Tbh it also depends on what you believe? if u dont mind me asking what are your personal beliefs now? It would ofc be hard to raise your children with a religion you dont actually believe in yourself.
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dianalu
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I wasn't raised religious but I still had a pretty awful upbringing, so I think that it just depends on how you choose to raise your kids. I have peers that were raised religious and had a loving family, but I also have friends that weren't as lucky. I'm just glad that my parents weren't crazy ultra-religious.
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Noiros
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#16
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(Original post by meymey:))
Hi, I'm a muslim and i was raised one. I just want to say that religion definitely helps me out on a daily basis as a teenager. my parents never enforced strict rules on me or forced me to do islamic activities that i would find boring as a child but taught me from a more spiritual aspect and knowing that Allah (God) is there for me got me through some tough times in school and etc. It also always helped me to have more of a clear view of who i want to be and gave me morals. The way my parents did things made me choose to follow rules in islam myself and develop my own opinions. They have also always focused on how being a good human and having good intentions will always work out for you regardless of what anyone else says and does.

I know that your question is different to what i wrote above but I just wanted to say that regardless of my personal beliefs I would say that Im sure they are people who have had a good upbringing without any faith and that depends on their parents way of raising them. There are also many examples of people who I have seen kids with ultra strict parents who ended up growing far from their religion and never truly had any faith as it was wrongly enforced on them as children. So its more about the parents in terms of the upbringing.

However, at the same time faith does have a way of grounding you and giving you a purpose of life so in that way it can be very beneficial with kids and young people to have a moral example to follow. Tbh it also depends on what you believe? if u dont mind me asking what are your personal beliefs now? It would ofc be hard to raise your children with a religion you dont actually believe in yourself.

Thanks for your response. I was once a practising Muslim at one but have since lapsed and am wavering on agnosticism. My parents were quite religious but also quite relaxed and didn’t impose the religion on me and so I think that brought me closer to it. But sometimes I did grow up seeing Allah as somewhat punishing in a way but and did sometimes question why he allowed good things to happen to bad Muslims/non-believers. So religious thinking wasn’t always healthy regarding that. But for the most part I really really enjoyed being Muslim and it brought me a lot of peace. What really changed everything for me though was when my Dad decided to take me on Umrah at a crucial stage in my education. I felt excited to go and thoroughly enjoyed my time there and made the most of it but ended up losing my sense of self. This greatly impacted my performance in my exams and for the last few years I have been lost and my grades have been ruined. My friends are almost graduated and I still have a lot of catch up to do. I don’t understand why Allah did this to me, I went to such a good school as well. In the last few years I have been through psychological hell. This is why I just can’t believe in him anymore and not sure if I want my future children too either if I have any…
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Rufus The Red
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Not too different to that of my religious friends' upbringings.
Parenting and the manner of impressing religion (or any other set of morals/beliefs for that matter) are much more significant factors than whether religion is present or not.
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black tea
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#18
Religion is not a prerequisite to a good upbringing and a successful life
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PinkMobilePhone
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Moved to Faith and Spirituality
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gjd800
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Usual Irish-Catholic upbringing common to these parts, but I don't think I ever really believed in it. I don't recall ever really believing in God. It was all very procedural and demonstrative
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