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Has anyone else been extremely judged for purposefully not doing medicine?

I applied to do a Biology degree purely because I love the subject and I never ever wanted to become a Doctor because I have social anxiety. I felt good about it before I applied however especially since I am from a strict Indian background every time someone is on the phone with my parents they judge them and are in shock I had the grades to do medicine and go to London unis however I didn't. And I feel so ashamed as they bash my parents for it. No one cares I have A stars in my Alevels or I even applied to Oxford because I love Biology that much, they all seem to think I am a disappointment and honestly I feel like taking a gap year and reapplying to medicine cos I can't take the pressure anymore. Is it true medicine is just a better degree and I should have gone for it anyway cos it makes me look better? I just feel honestly horrid all the time cos of what people think of it and yet I applied to Biology at OXFORD. The Asian community is so close minded and judgemental when it comes to careers and I was wondering if anyone else has been in the same position it would make me feel much better....

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Original post by Abigail.alex
I applied to do a Biology degree purely because I love the subject and I never ever wanted to become a Doctor because I have social anxiety. I felt good about it before I applied however especially since I am from a strict Indian background every time someone is on the phone with my parents they judge them and are in shock I had the grades to do medicine and go to London unis however I didn't. And I feel so ashamed as they bash my parents for it. No one cares I have A stars in my Alevels or I even applied to Oxford because I love Biology that much, they all seem to think I am a disappointment and honestly I feel like taking a gap year and reapplying to medicine cos I can't take the pressure anymore. Is it true medicine is just a better degree and I should have gone for it anyway cos it makes me look better? I just feel honestly horrid all the time cos of what people think of it and yet I applied to Biology at OXFORD. The Asian community is so close minded and judgemental when it comes to careers and I was wondering if anyone else has been in the same position it would make me feel much better....

Hi, I'm really sorry things are difficult at the moment. You should definitely tell your parents that medicine interviewers will know if you don't really love medicine, and they won't give you an offer. Do not take a gap year for a degree you don't want to do. Biology at any university is a very good degree, and I for one am very proud of you :h:
Some cultures are more close minded with these things. I don't thing people should be doctors unless they have the right personality for it I've dealt with too many horrible GPs so I don't think doctors should just be celebrated as simply an esteemed position in society which is what it is in many families. it should be about the people you help.
Original post by CatInTheCorner
Hi, I'm really sorry things are difficult at the moment. You should definitely tell your parents that medicine interviewers will know if you don't really love medicine, and they won't give you an offer. Do not take a gap year for a degree you don't want to do. Biology at any university is a very good degree, and I for one am very proud of you :h:

Thank you so much it really helps, it feels like to me cos of what I have experienced that I'm doing the worst degree possible and I feel so guilty for not doing medicine and like I am a disappointment to my whole family
It's their problem. I doubt they have much real understanding of other degrees anyway.
yeah I'm Asian too and my parents complained at me because I didn't want to do medicine, nursing, pharmacy etc. You know the highly respected ones. I'm doing psychology with counselling instead and I find it really interesting! But they're worried because it's not an 'impressive' degree nor does it bring job security and so they were complaining about me behind my back about there being something wrong with me lol. But it's okay, I don't care :smile:

Biology is still a really good degree to do! It's even better that you're passionate about it!!!! Don't really know much about it but I think it's one of those degrees where it opens up many different career pathways that involve biology
(edited 2 years ago)
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Rara345
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Original post by Abigail.alex
I applied to do a Biology degree purely because I love the subject and I never ever wanted to become a Doctor because I have social anxiety. I felt good about it before I applied however especially since I am from a strict Indian background every time someone is on the phone with my parents they judge them and are in shock I had the grades to do medicine and go to London unis however I didn't. And I feel so ashamed as they bash my parents for it. No one cares I have A stars in my Alevels or I even applied to Oxford because I love Biology that much, they all seem to think I am a disappointment and honestly I feel like taking a gap year and reapplying to medicine cos I can't take the pressure anymore. Is it true medicine is just a better degree and I should have gone for it anyway cos it makes me look better? I just feel honestly horrid all the time cos of what people think of it and yet I applied to Biology at OXFORD. The Asian community is so close minded and judgemental when it comes to careers and I was wondering if anyone else has been in the same position it would make me feel much better....


Honestly I’m so glad you stuck to what you love and chose to apply for bio. I don’t think you will regret it, but I’m almost certain if you chose to do medicine you would have regrets, always thinking you would have preferred bio. Seriously congrats on your a-levels and the way you clearly have so much love for biology shows how much you will enjoy it.
You made the right choice by doing what you love instead of following what your parents want you to do as you will be miserable in medical school if you're not passionate about it.
Original post by agnos987
yeah I'm Asian too and my parents complained at me because I didn't want to do medicine, nursing, pharmacy etc. You know the highly respected ones. I'm doing psychology with counselling instead and I find it really interesting! But they're worried because it's not an 'impressive' degree nor does it bring job security and so they were complaining about me behind my back about there being something wrong with me lol. But it's okay, I don't care :smile:

Biology is still a really good degree to do! It's even better that you're passionate about it!!!! Don't really know much about it but I think it's one of those degrees where it opens up many different career pathways that involve biology

Yes omg I used to think those highly respected degrees were the only good ones and anything else was trash I hate that idea that professional degrees are way better, and people just do them to say oh look I am a doctor or suxh
Original post by Rara345
Honestly I’m so glad you stuck to what you love and chose to apply for bio. I don’t think you will regret it, but I’m almost certain if you chose to do medicine you would have regrets, always thinking you would have preferred bio. Seriously congrats on your a-levels and the way you clearly have so much love for biology shows how much you will enjoy it.

Thank you so much it feels so good to know everyone out there isn't like my family!! I was worried wherever I would go people would judge me for my choices and weirdly haunt me. I know if i ended up doing medicine I would have only done it for the reputation and I feel most people in my community do which is so bad
I'm not in uni yet but my parents and Asian relatives always treat me like a failure for not wanting to do medicine even though I have great predicted grades and I'm going to apply to Oxford in the future, so I work hard and whatnot but they act like medicine is the only good degree and career.....
Original post by summerbirdreads
I'm not in uni yet but my parents and Asian relatives always treat me like a failure for not wanting to do medicine even though I have great predicted grades and I'm going to apply to Oxford in the future, so I work hard and whatnot but they act like medicine is the only good degree and career.....

I understand this so much
Original post by Abigail.alex
I understand this so much

Ignore the people who treats you like that. Biology is amazing!!! you're not a failure, don't take a gap year and apply to medicine.
Yes.
I got a lot of insults and hostility for not applying for an undergrad degree connected to medicine, law, stem or politics.

Goodness knows why anyone would expect me to consider studying medicine or stem.
I didn't do any science or maths a levels, don't agree with blood transfusions or the organ donation 'opt out' system, can't stand the sight of needles or blood, have had one vaccine in my life for polio and am very unlikely to accept any other vaccines.
I'm not asian or religious.
Original post by summerbirdreads
Ignore the people who treats you like that. Biology is amazing!!! you're not a failure, don't take a gap year and apply to medicine.

I honestly feel like we are such similar in that respect, I’m struggling so much with the constant backlash at the minute people judge so much it’s really horrible, especially where I was born you’re parents choose your career for you
Original post by londonmyst
Yes.
I got a lot of insults and hostility for not applying for an undergrad degree connected to medicine, law, stem or politics.

Goodness knows why anyone would expect me to consider studying medicine or stem.
I didn't do any science or maths a levels, don't agree with blood transfusions or the organ donation 'opt out' system, can't stand the sight of needles or blood, have had one vaccine in my life for polio and am very unlikely to accept any other vaccines.
I'm not asian or religious.

Thank you it feels so good to know I’m not the only one out there it feels so many people in my position end up pleasing their parents so stay on the easier side of life if you understand me
Original post by Abigail.alex
I honestly feel like we are such similar in that respect, I’m struggling so much with the constant backlash at the minute people judge so much it’s really horrible, especially where I was born you’re parents choose your career for you

Yes exactly! they always make us feel like **** and unintelligent for not wanting to do medicine or engineering for that matter.
yeh, i come from an arab family so once they found out i didnt want to be a doctor or teacher, lets just say disappointed would be an understatement
but 10 years from now they're not gonna be the ones stuck in a job they hate, you will
so ignore them, they dont get a say in what you chose to spend your life doing
and when you're old and successful you can tell them 'i told you so' -that's always a bonus
Original post by Violet5567
yeh, i come from an arab family so once they found out i didnt want to be a doctor or teacher, lets just say disappointed would be an understatement
but 10 years from now they're not gonna be the ones stuck in a job they hate, you will
so ignore them, they dont get a say in what you chose to spend your life doing
and when you're old and successful you can tell them 'i told you so' -that's always a bonus

yeah, especially as a people pleaser i dont like being constantly judged for it. moreso that my parents whom were quite abusive about me doing med in the first place are getting hate from their relatives now. this toxic culture has to end
You should do the degree subject you want to do.

School thought I should do medicine, parents thought I should do engineering. I did physics. I've never regretted it. I have no idea what school thought of me, and parents got over it really very quickly.

Three in four medicine applicants don't get in. Almost all of them have good enough predictions/grades. You have no chance of an offer if you don't actually want to do it, and yes, the interviewers will be able to tell. Don't waste a year of your life on something you don't even want.

(You could always tell your parents about graduate entry medicine and that you'd go that route if you decide medicine is for you after all. It doesn't have to be true :smile: )

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