1st year and i feel stuck; what to do?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#1
hi,
this thread may go off into tangents and for that i can only apologise!
a few months ago now i made an anonymous thread about my (kinda) toxic parents and how i was domineered in my own home by people who wanted to control every aspect of my life. i was being discouraged from attending the university i wanted to go to due to their own separation issues, and i generally just felt unloved by my family as a then-17 year old student who needed support.
fast forward to now and i am at that very uni i was pressured (or forced) into going to - the deadline day of replying to my ucas offers, i was shouted at and threatened with being kicked out unless i did as i was told and abandoned my hopes of going to the uni i've wanted to go to since i was about 14. as expected, they're now behaving all nice and loving only because i did what they wanted me to do out of fear for my future, and not because i am their child.
i'm not at all saying the uni i am currently at is bad - it has its okay points, and that's something i can live with for a while, but it's not a happy existence for me at the moment. my tutors are okay and help me wherever possible, but i have barely any friends and little to no social life as i wasn't even allowed to choose accommodation near home, while my best friend (who is currently at our local college as she didn't have any further education qualifications for what she chose to do at the time of applying to unis) has a new set of friends and is doing great. i can't join any societies and make friends there as the majority of the ones that take place at my uni are in the evening, and it is hard to get there by train at such a late time.
i am unsure how to progress in my professional life, as the course i'm on seems to be sucking any enthusiasm that i had for my chosen field out of me; occasionally i have bursts of creativity, but they never go anywhere and i'm never sure of how i should go about furthering my experience, as my field also has a lack of placements and/or part time jobs available.
this is 100% not what i thought life would be like when i started year 13 last september and started applying to unis, and i have no idea how to escape the complete mess that i'm in at the moment. honestly it just would be nice to find someone to talk to or at least to understand how i'm feeling!
thank you for reading all this if you got to the end, sending love
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Music_Lover~
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#2
Report 3 weeks ago
#2
Hi,
I am in year 9 and since I am getting ready for my GCSE and not actually at the point of going to Uni so I will not be able to feel the same pressure but maybe a similar pressure.
I understand how your feeling actually even though I'm not at your stage!!
Even for me I am not a sociable person and I do have few friends but I am not sure if they are actually friends with me or just a fake person... - I don't actually know what to say to make you feel better or to help you in a way but what I do want to say is that I hope whatever route you choose and whatever you decide to do is what you really want to do and what makes you happy and what makes you, yourself. From what I just read, it seems very limited but maybe one day you will be able to open up and shine!!
Hope this will give you some support
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#3
(Original post by Music_Lover~)
Hi,
I am in year 9 and since I am getting ready for my GCSE and not actually at the point of going to Uni so I will not be able to feel the same pressure but maybe a similar pressure.
I understand how your feeling actually even though I'm not at your stage!!
Even for me I am not a sociable person and I do have few friends but I am not sure if they are actually friends with me or just a fake person... - I don't actually know what to say to make you feel better or to help you in a way but what I do want to say is that I hope whatever route you choose and whatever you decide to do is what you really want to do and what makes you happy and what makes you, yourself. From what I just read, it seems very limited but maybe one day you will be able to open up and shine!!
Hope this will give you some support
thank you so much! my friend has just started gcses, he's in year 10 i think? i don't often open up to people about how i'm feeling, so knowing somebody understands how i'm feeling is such a comfort! i'm sure you're a great friend to whoever you hang around with at school, if they're fake around you that's their problem - i remember knowing so many people like that when i was your age! i hope things will turn out okay too, at the moment i'm just hoping for the best and seeing what happens!
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