anonymous0011
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#1
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#1
I started university in September and during the first three weeks I loved it. I then went home for a family commitment and since I came back, I haven’t been enjoying it at all. I speak to my parents everyday, and message them on our family group chat. They’re saying that I’m homesick, and that it will pass - but it’s been nearly 5 weeks and all I can think about it not wanting to be here anymore.I’m a medical student and I never really considered any other courses at all. I tried to switch to a course nearer home (without my parents knowing) but that wasn’t an option.I keep thinking it’s my course that I don’t like, but in reality I am doing the work even thought I feel unmotivated - so I think my parents might be right saying I am homesick. I know a lot of people at uni, but I don’t know if I would consider any of them to be extremely close friends, which I am also finding hard.Has anyone else felt like this? And if so what did you do about it?
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LegalTom
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#2
Report 2 weeks ago
#2
I do. I currently am packing my bags and going home. Not looking back even though I have got a month’s worth of seminars and lectures - I don’t even attend some of them anyway.
Uni feels like prison: I enjoy my course but I wish I was studying it online. I study Law at Exeter, by the way.

Been contemplating leaving for a few days now and I think now is the time to leave. Feels like prison. Are you allowed to leave?
Last edited by LegalTom; 2 weeks ago
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mike23mike
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#3
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#3
please stick with it. You are just feeling homesick. You will regret dropping out. The honeymoon period of going to uni is coming to an end and the hard work and assignments are piling up. No one expects you to find life-long friends in the first few weeks so give it time. Relax, breathe and take a moment.
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GMDB
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#4
Report 2 weeks ago
#4
Homesickness is a perfectly normal reaction to being at University, and as someone who has graduated, your experience feels very familiar to how I felt in my first term at Uni. I often thought of it as "the term that wouldn't end", less daylight day by day and an increasing workload.

Don't feel like you are the only one experiencing honesickness, it's extremely common. It's just it often (wrongly) comes with a feeling of shame and it's hard to talk about difficult feelings with people you only met for the first time a few weeks ago. It's actually a perfectly normal reaction, you've lived at home all your life and now you're living somewhere else with new people for 2/3rds of the year.

If you have access to any counselling services I highly recommend using them.

It does pass as you adjust to being away from home at University, but you are doing the right thing by listening to yourself. I would hope your welfare team are also on hand to talk this through with you and offer advice. My advice is I found engaging with the people who lived around me paid massive dividends and they remain good friends to this day. I regularly miss that time of my life with them.
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anonymous0011
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#5
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#5
(Original post by LegalTom)
I do. I currently am packing my bags and going home. Not looking back even though I have got a month’s worth of seminars and lectures - I don’t even attend some of them anyway.
Uni feels like prison: I enjoy my course but I wish I was studying it online. I study Law at Exeter, by the way.

Been contemplating leaving for a few days now and I think now is the time to leave. Feels like prison. Are you allowed to leave?
I’m heading home for the weekend, but will be back on Sunday even though I don’t want to. I’m a medic, so transferring is basically impossible. I don’t really feel like I’ve clicked with anyone here, and it doesn’t feel like I can escape.

Are you going home for good? Or just doing your course online?
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anonymous0011
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#6
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#6
(Original post by GetMyDepositBack)
Homesickness is a perfectly normal reaction to being at University, and as someone who has graduated, your experience feels very familiar to how I felt in my first term at Uni. I often thought of it as "the term that wouldn't end", less daylight day by day and an increasing workload.

Don't feel like you are the only one experiencing honesickness, it's extremely common. It's just it often (wrongly) comes with a feeling of shame and it's hard to talk about difficult feelings with people you only met for the first time a few weeks ago. It's actually a perfectly normal reaction, you've lived at home all your life and now you're living somewhere else with new people for 2/3rds of the year.

If you have access to any counselling services I highly recommend using them.

It does pass as you adjust to being away from home at University, but you are doing the right thing by listening to yourself. I would hope your welfare team are also on hand to talk this through with you and offer advice. My advice is I found engaging with the people who lived around me paid massive dividends and they remain good friends to this day. I regularly miss that time of my life with them.
I didn’t mention but I don’t feel like I click that well with my flat. My hours are different and I feel like the outsider. I don’t feel like I’ve made a huge amount of friends here - if any.

How did you get through it?
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LegalTom
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#7
Report 2 weeks ago
#7
(Original post by anonymous0011)
I’m heading home for the weekend, but will be back on Sunday even though I don’t want to. I’m a medic, so transferring is basically impossible. I don’t really feel like I’ve clicked with anyone here, and it doesn’t feel like I can escape.

Are you going home for good? Or just doing your course online?
Going home until next term, January. My uni isn’t providing lectures online so I’ll be missing out in that, I’m just left with my assessments to complete by deadline.
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anonymous0011
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#8
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#8
I hope it all works out for you!
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anonymous0011
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#9
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#9
(Original post by LegalTom)
Going home until next term, January. My uni isn’t providing lectures online so I’ll be missing out in that, I’m just left with my assessments to complete by deadline.
I hope it all works out for you 😊
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Rollo_02
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#10
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#10
I'm the exact same as you, just stick with it like me i'm just hoping things get better
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Louisealex02
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#11
Report 2 weeks ago
#11
i feel exactly the same. i think i’ve been distracting myself since september with the though that ‘it will get better’ but i’m almost leaving to go home for christmas as it hasn’t improved at all. considering dropping out or transferring to a campus uni as i’m really struggling with not having a supportive network of friends around me
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LegalTom
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#12
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#12
(Original post by anonymous0011)
I hope it all works out for you 😊
Thanks, you too
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Lancaster University
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#13
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#13
Hi there,

I just wanted to reach out and say I hope you feel better soon and echo the sentiment above that I hope it all works out! I too was quite homesick in my first term at uni but I think the best remedy, for me anyway, was to try and stay busy, whether that be doing uni work or forcing myself to go out and meet new people or spend time with my flatmates. If there is anyone you feel close enough to, I'd try talking to them so you can get some things off your chest. It's cliché but talking about it does make you feel better.
I think people at university in first year are quite unwilling to admit to the people around them that they're feeling homesick but I can promise you there's more people than you think feeling the same.
This feeling will pass and you will start to enjoy yourself more. Also, on the topic of not quite clicking with people, I didn't meet my close friends at uni until a few months in and a few not until 2nd term and it's like this for most people, so hold on, you'll find your group!

-Daisy (Final year Spanish and Theatre Studies)
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GMDB
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#14
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#14
(Original post by anonymous0011)
I didn’t mention but I don’t feel like I click that well with my flat. My hours are different and I feel like the outsider. I don’t feel like I’ve made a huge amount of friends here - if any.

How did you get through it?
A big part of it was I was lucky to share a floor with enough good people in 1st term. Some new arrivals came in 2nd term that I got along with really well, so it got better from there too. But I was able to double down and invest in building friendships with these people, many of whom I didn't think I had much in common with at all when I first arrived. I think fi you can find a group of people you like to spend time with you will be fine (be that on your floor, uni socieites or sports etc.)
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De Montfort University
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#15
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#15
(Original post by anonymous0011)
I started university in September and during the first three weeks I loved it. I then went home for a family commitment and since I came back, I haven’t been enjoying it at all. I speak to my parents everyday, and message them on our family group chat. They’re saying that I’m homesick, and that it will pass - but it’s been nearly 5 weeks and all I can think about it not wanting to be here anymore.I’m a medical student and I never really considered any other courses at all. I tried to switch to a course nearer home (without my parents knowing) but that wasn’t an option.I keep thinking it’s my course that I don’t like, but in reality I am doing the work even thought I feel unmotivated - so I think my parents might be right saying I am homesick. I know a lot of people at uni, but I don’t know if I would consider any of them to be extremely close friends, which I am also finding hard.Has anyone else felt like this? And if so what did you do about it?
Hi, anonymous0011, how are you?

I’m Konnie, a postgraduate Creative Writing student at De Montfort University. 😊

For the first few weeks of my undergraduate course, I found it hard being at university. I felt lonely and overwhelmed, and I did seriously consider going home.

But I spoke to my parent and we agreed that I should try and stay until Christmas at least to see if I settled, and I’m so glad I did!

I think that a lot of the time there is a stigma that being at university is the best time of your life, and most of the time it is, but it also isn’t talked about enough that the initial change from living at home to living at university can be tough. In my third year of university I asked my friends how they felt when they first arrived at university, and they all said they felt the same as me!

To try and help myself settle more I made sure that I left my room regularly, to go and spend some time out and about with friends, or sometimes just on my own. I also joined a society which really helped too, and I made friends there. I think the important thing though, is to not put too much pressure on yourself either – if you don’t feel comfortable going somewhere or doing something just yet? Don’t do it!

Don’t forget to reach out to the student support services at your university, too, if you want to talk to someone about how you are feeling.

I hope you start to feel better soon!

Take care,

Konnie 😊
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moll-moo
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#16
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#16
hey i’m at dmu leicester also having started in sept. i was too going through a tough period of homesickness not long into starting, and still do sometimes, but i really do think you just have to stick it out and slowly the relationships and habits you make here will make you feel less out of place. plus if u want some new friends, hmu lol.
i hope it gets better for you ! <3
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lycheegal
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#17
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#17
I think something that really helps me away from home is making a home from home. So I make sure I decorate my uni room really nicely, that I make food I enjoy, that I'm listening to music I love and watching tv shows/films that bring me joy. Some of this sounds simple but I've found whilst you're at uni you can easily get so caught up in studying you forget to just live as well and then you associate uni with study and home with fun which causes homesickness. Hope this can help a bit. And also make sure you're going out for walks and exploring places near your uni not just getting stuck in your room. It will help your mood and also help you feel attached to the place you now live.
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University of Derby
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#18
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#18
(Original post by anonymous0011)
I started university in September and during the first three weeks I loved it. I then went home for a family commitment and since I came back, I haven’t been enjoying it at all. I speak to my parents everyday, and message them on our family group chat. They’re saying that I’m homesick, and that it will pass - but it’s been nearly 5 weeks and all I can think about it not wanting to be here anymore.I’m a medical student and I never really considered any other courses at all. I tried to switch to a course nearer home (without my parents knowing) but that wasn’t an option.I keep thinking it’s my course that I don’t like, but in reality I am doing the work even thought I feel unmotivated - so I think my parents might be right saying I am homesick. I know a lot of people at uni, but I don’t know if I would consider any of them to be extremely close friends, which I am also finding hard.Has anyone else felt like this? And if so what did you do about it?
Hi there,

Sorry to hear this. What you are describing is really common. You have got to remember that it may take some people a year to settle in, others settle in in a week, everyone is different. It's a big change in your life, so even if you made all the right decisions, it will still feel odd for a while, because you likely have had the same experiences for the last 18 or so years (living at home etc). Make sure you keep talking to your family, keep talking to your friends and even your lecturers, as it's always better to get it out if you're worried. If you have only been there 5 weeks I would suggest it's too soon to judge whether it's right for you or not, so you could see how it goes for the next few months? The sting of homesickness will become weaker as you become more and more used to it and before you know it, you've grown as a person

Best of luck
James - student rep
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GMDB
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#19
Report 1 week ago
#19
(Original post by University of Derby)
Hi there,

Sorry to hear this. What you are describing is really common. You have got to remember that it may take some people a year to settle in, others settle in in a week, everyone is different. It's a big change in your life, so even if you made all the right decisions, it will still feel odd for a while, because you likely have had the same experiences for the last 18 or so years (living at home etc). Make sure you keep talking to your family, keep talking to your friends and even your lecturers, as it's always better to get it out if you're worried. If you have only been there 5 weeks I would suggest it's too soon to judge whether it's right for you or not, so you could see how it goes for the next few months? The sting of homesickness will become weaker as you become more and more used to it and before you know it, you've grown as a person

Best of luck
James - student rep
This is great advice
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anonymous0011
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#20
Report Thread starter 21 hours ago
#20
An update. So I went home like I said I was going to a few weeks ago, it felt good and when I came back I started speaking to some other people in my flat - and we get on quite well. I settled a little better.

Then, the rest of my flat went home, except the people I don’t really get on with. I’m here another few weeks and I’m really struggling. I’ve had to come and stay with a family friend for the night because my anxiety was getting so bad.

I just want my term to end (I finish later than everyone else)
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