No motivation for anything [TW]

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#1
Hi. I’m not sure how to phrase this so please bear with my ramble.

I’ve always been a top student, at GCSE I got straight A*s and was one of the hardest workers. I was a prefect too and took part in extra stuff outside of school. At a levels I lost a bit of motivation, I started struggling to keep up with my peers. When Covid hit my a levels were cancelled in 2020, and I was given A*AA, which is really good but lower than I was actually working at due to some dodgy teachers at my school playing favourites.

It was as this time I had the courage to tell my mum about my poor mental health and the fact that I’m certain I’m autistic. During Covid we looked into this and I was diagnosed with autism around my 18th. Like many I really struggled in the lockdown feeling like when things got back to normal my life would never be the same again as I left school, left my friends, and was moving out to uni.

Well uni was a disaster. I picked an awful uni just because it is RG, and after being left suicidal I dropped out just before the next 2 lockdowns. I was left without a purpose from November to the next September as no one would hire at the time, trapped with a parent that didn’t let me leave my bedroom or talk from 8-5 every day.

So I moved out for uni and I’ve been feeling so lost. This uni is better and I am happier there, but after so long without a purpose and now knowing my learning disabilities (very slow processing speed, executive dysfunction, dyspraxia) and anxiety, depression, and autism, I’m really struggling to find a purpose. I was always such a hard worker at school but can’t be bothered to study anymore and kind think of a career that I will ever enjoy.

Feeling like there is no end goal to work towards is taking a toll on my studies now. And outside of this my parents still are one working from home being horrible and the other working away all of the time, and I’m not good at making friends. I feel like I’ll never get a good job or make a family, and because I feel like this it’s affecting my actions and will make it a reality. I’ve tried antidepressants but they didn’t do anything, and I’m just trying to find anything that makes me happy but am failing.

I really need some advice, from anyone but especially people who have felt like this at some point. I’m really desperate. Thank you for reading this hot mess
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#2
Report 2 weeks ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi. I’m not sure how to phrase this so please bear with my ramble.

I’ve always been a top student, at GCSE I got straight A*s and was one of the hardest workers. I was a prefect too and took part in extra stuff outside of school. At a levels I lost a bit of motivation, I started struggling to keep up with my peers. When Covid hit my a levels were cancelled in 2020, and I was given A*AA, which is really good but lower than I was actually working at due to some dodgy teachers at my school playing favourites.

It was as this time I had the courage to tell my mum about my poor mental health and the fact that I’m certain I’m autistic. During Covid we looked into this and I was diagnosed with autism around my 18th. Like many I really struggled in the lockdown feeling like when things got back to normal my life would never be the same again as I left school, left my friends, and was moving out to uni.

Well uni was a disaster. I picked an awful uni just because it is RG, and after being left suicidal I dropped out just before the next 2 lockdowns. I was left without a purpose from November to the next September as no one would hire at the time, trapped with a parent that didn’t let me leave my bedroom or talk from 8-5 every day.

So I moved out for uni and I’ve been feeling so lost. This uni is better and I am happier there, but after so long without a purpose and now knowing my learning disabilities (very slow processing speed, executive dysfunction, dyspraxia) and anxiety, depression, and autism, I’m really struggling to find a purpose. I was always such a hard worker at school but can’t be bothered to study anymore and kind think of a career that I will ever enjoy.

Feeling like there is no end goal to work towards is taking a toll on my studies now. And outside of this my parents still are one working from home being horrible and the other working away all of the time, and I’m not good at making friends. I feel like I’ll never get a good job or make a family, and because I feel like this it’s affecting my actions and will make it a reality. I’ve tried antidepressants but they didn’t do anything, and I’m just trying to find anything that makes me happy but am failing.

I really need some advice, from anyone but especially people who have felt like this at some point. I’m really desperate. Thank you for reading this hot mess
Drop out of university if you don't like the studying
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
Drop out of university if you don't like the studying
This isn’t helpful. I can’t drop out I’m not allowed to by myself family and I want to at least finish it.
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#4
Report 2 weeks ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi. I’m not sure how to phrase this so please bear with my ramble.

I’ve always been a top student, at GCSE I got straight A*s and was one of the hardest workers. I was a prefect too and took part in extra stuff outside of school. At a levels I lost a bit of motivation, I started struggling to keep up with my peers. When Covid hit my a levels were cancelled in 2020, and I was given A*AA, which is really good but lower than I was actually working at due to some dodgy teachers at my school playing favourites.

It was as this time I had the courage to tell my mum about my poor mental health and the fact that I’m certain I’m autistic. During Covid we looked into this and I was diagnosed with autism around my 18th. Like many I really struggled in the lockdown feeling like when things got back to normal my life would never be the same again as I left school, left my friends, and was moving out to uni.

Well uni was a disaster. I picked an awful uni just because it is RG, and after being left suicidal I dropped out just before the next 2 lockdowns. I was left without a purpose from November to the next September as no one would hire at the time, trapped with a parent that didn’t let me leave my bedroom or talk from 8-5 every day.

So I moved out for uni and I’ve been feeling so lost. This uni is better and I am happier there, but after so long without a purpose and now knowing my learning disabilities (very slow processing speed, executive dysfunction, dyspraxia) and anxiety, depression, and autism, I’m really struggling to find a purpose. I was always such a hard worker at school but can’t be bothered to study anymore and kind think of a career that I will ever enjoy.

Feeling like there is no end goal to work towards is taking a toll on my studies now. And outside of this my parents still are one working from home being horrible and the other working away all of the time, and I’m not good at making friends. I feel like I’ll never get a good job or make a family, and because I feel like this it’s affecting my actions and will make it a reality. I’ve tried antidepressants but they didn’t do anything, and I’m just trying to find anything that makes me happy but am failing.

I really need some advice, from anyone but especially people who have felt like this at some point. I’m really desperate. Thank you for reading this hot mess
Heya, yea u need to find a new purpose like try going to lots of different maybe new uni clubs that you’ve never tried before. This may give u new passion in smg unexpected and also help u make friends!! Especially starting say a sport group or anything rly. There are always new people to meet there and it may lead to new opportunities. Good luck I wish you all the best!!
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#5
Report 2 weeks ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
This isn’t helpful. I can’t drop out I’m not allowed to by myself family and I want to at least finish it.
You're most likely 18 or over so you don't need to listen to your famliy. If it's affecting you then you shouldn't be doing it
0
reply
Anonymous #4
#6
Report 2 weeks ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi. I’m not sure how to phrase this so please bear with my ramble.

I’ve always been a top student, at GCSE I got straight A*s and was one of the hardest workers. I was a prefect too and took part in extra stuff outside of school. At a levels I lost a bit of motivation, I started struggling to keep up with my peers. When Covid hit my a levels were cancelled in 2020, and I was given A*AA, which is really good but lower than I was actually working at due to some dodgy teachers at my school playing favourites.

It was as this time I had the courage to tell my mum about my poor mental health and the fact that I’m certain I’m autistic. During Covid we looked into this and I was diagnosed with autism around my 18th. Like many I really struggled in the lockdown feeling like when things got back to normal my life would never be the same again as I left school, left my friends, and was moving out to uni.

Well uni was a disaster. I picked an awful uni just because it is RG, and after being left suicidal I dropped out just before the next 2 lockdowns. I was left without a purpose from November to the next September as no one would hire at the time, trapped with a parent that didn’t let me leave my bedroom or talk from 8-5 every day.

So I moved out for uni and I’ve been feeling so lost. This uni is better and I am happier there, but after so long without a purpose and now knowing my learning disabilities (very slow processing speed, executive dysfunction, dyspraxia) and anxiety, depression, and autism, I’m really struggling to find a purpose. I was always such a hard worker at school but can’t be bothered to study anymore and kind think of a career that I will ever enjoy.

Feeling like there is no end goal to work towards is taking a toll on my studies now. And outside of this my parents still are one working from home being horrible and the other working away all of the time, and I’m not good at making friends. I feel like I’ll never get a good job or make a family, and because I feel like this it’s affecting my actions and will make it a reality. I’ve tried antidepressants but they didn’t do anything, and I’m just trying to find anything that makes me happy but am failing.

I really need some advice, from anyone but especially people who have felt like this at some point. I’m really desperate. Thank you for reading this hot mess
I'm in a very similar position!!

Here's my story;

I had never really knew what I wanted to study at uni, but since I liked animals and people had suggested veterinary medicine I decided to give it a go and apply for vet med since I didn't know what else to apply to. well I didn't recieve any offers so decided to accept an alternative offer for biochem even though I had zero interest in this course.
Anyway, I was also part of the year group who completed A levels in 2020 without having sat the exam. I spent those six months at home doing absoultely nothing at all, and since I don't really have any friends this was an extremely lonley time. Anyway, on results day my parents made me change my uni choice last minute because they wanted me to stay in my home city, so I listened to them and applied for a course in clearing. Well I absolutely hated that course and that uni and became extremely depressed, still had no friends and just felt very lost and without a purspose. So I dropped out and reapplied for different unis but a similar course, and spent from December - September at home doing absolutley nothing. Now i started uni again but my mental health is the worst it's ever been, like you I have zero motivation to study and I still hate my course, I've done zero work since I got here and am constantly thinking about my future career, how I don't know what career I want but also how I feel like i'm going to be stuck with a career I hate for the rest of my life. my mental health has gotten so bad that I moved back home, but this is making my mental health even worse because I'm just isolating myself even more and i just sit in my bedroom all day not doing anything and i feel like i'm missing out on the uni experience, and I know i'm just making things even harder for myself by isolating myself and not making any friends but I just feel so depressed and unmotivated that I can't do anything else, all I do is think about how much I hate my course and also my future career. Also like you I have learning disabilities such as slow processing speeds, dyslexia, possibly autism and this is making things so much harder because when I do try to watch my lectures I find it incredibly hard to take anything in and everything jsut feels so impossible. I can just feel my sanity slipping away more and more each day, sorry for the long rant but it's nice to see i'm not complelty alone in this.

if you dont mind me asking, what do you study?
1
reply
Anonymous #4
#7
Report 2 weeks ago
#7
I feel like I’ll never get a good job or make a family, and because I feel like this it’s affecting my actions and will make it a reality.
I also relate to this so much!!! This whole post is almost exactly how I've been feeling inside and it's like you've looking into my own mind. I just feel like my life is a complete mess right now. I'm really scared about this too because I feel like my future is going to be me being alone for the rest of my life working a rubbish job that I hate which does not pay well.
0
reply
Anonymous #5
#8
Report 2 weeks ago
#8
Hey I just wanted to say it’s okay to not know your purpose right now it’s okay to take things one step at a time. Sometimes we really struggle because we worry too much about the future. You should try working out now hear me out I know it sounds silly and you have no motivation to do anything but just give it a try. I also suffer from depression and anxiety and the gym is the one thing that made took my mind of everything. As well as music that’s also been my escape. Also it is okay to take things slowly I understand you feel like you have no purpose but you do! You have so much potential you just don’t see it in yourself. Depression really takes a toll on us and makes us feel so lost in this world. Try journaling everyday and getting all ur thoughts written. Sometimes just writing all our thoughts down help. Even if you just write them in your notes as long as they’re not bottled inside. Start small. Take care of yourself. Start with skincare, too making yourself a meal, going for a walk. You will find your purpose and no you will not be alone do not say that because it is not true. You will find yourself again and you will find your purpose this is how depression affects us it makes us feel like we have nothing to live for but you can start with getting in touch with the university well being. Talking about things will help you find your purpose again. Believe it or not. Apologies if this didn’t help but I truly hope you find your purpose and realise this won’t last forever.
0
reply
Zhenli14
Badges: 4
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#9
Report 2 weeks ago
#9
it's amazing how majority are students who finished college at 2020. I am also from that year group.

I am now studying psychology and currently in second year. I understand your feelings since I found it was really hard to study within first year where everything was online and with isolation etc no one really get to go out and meet making me really antisocial.

and that was one or the main reason for the start of second year I moved to accomodations, majority people would argue by meeting new people it would increase your mood and by being around people who have a different life style or being more studious around you would make you have the same feeling but sometimes that just makes you more anxious which was something I feel all the time.

the thing that made me feel different was try doing something to distract me during my free time. usually I would do some sport like badminton but this year I was too busy so as an alternative, I joined clubs that I may enjoy, especially those where there would be lots of chill people in like anime society etc. there are also baking societies, creative writing etc.

I think by joining a club, you would meet other people more easily and potentially meet new friends due to have similar likes to talk about.

another thing to do is if you have a hobby you used to love, try and go back and do those hobbies. or even do something new e.g., join a beginner language course (if you enjoy learning a new language).

for me I restarted drawing and writing novels alongside reading novels and manga. listening to music sometimes increases my mood but it depends on the situation as sometimes even with music it doesn't help increase my mood.

you could also try doing some volunteering work, by giving something to others may help increase your own feelings of worth and become less down since you know you have helped to change someone's life, knowing that your existence is something that is needed within society.

overall, this is all dependent on what you like and taking a further step to carry these out and by doing so it may change your way of thinking. also it is better to not always listen to your parents. I for one always get more stressed and anxious due to my parents since they kept on planning my future which I still don't know what exactly I want. many of my friends that I met at uni still haven't planned their future but all of us try to not think about it and just enjoy our time.

so I hope everything goes well with you all, and one thing that I must say is just stop thinking about the future, regardless the world would still spin and the time would definitely come when you need to make a decision but for now you are still experiencing the different pathways and still deciding on what catches your interest. and by forcing yourself to think about the future would only make your life even harder, hurting your mental well being.

if you are unsure of a future career, why not do some virtual online events or volunteer in something you find interesting and see how it goes before deciding . you have a long way ahead of you.

I know what majority may think when reading this. everyone may say I'm trying to be more optimistic, but in truth I'm not an optimistic person, I just try to occupy my life more so I would stop thinking of my pessimistic side. when I was in college, I was so close to being diagnosed with depression but then COVID happened and I totally skived any therapy sessions etc. which to be honest caused many hurdles during COVID lockdown and whenever I do feel down now, I try do something to distract myself to move out of that negative mindset as much as possible.

(p.s. watch some dramas, comedy etc.)
1
reply
Scotney
Badges: 20
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#10
Report 2 weeks ago
#10
(Original post by Zhenli14)
it's amazing how majority are students who finished college at 2020. I am also from that year group.

I am now studying psychology and currently in second year. I understand your feelings since I found it was really hard to study within first year where everything was online and with isolation etc no one really get to go out and meet making me really antisocial.

and that was one or the main reason for the start of second year I moved to accomodations, majority people would argue by meeting new people it would increase your mood and by being around people who have a different life style or being more studious around you would make you have the same feeling but sometimes that just makes you more anxious which was something I feel all the time.

the thing that made me feel different was try doing something to distract me during my free time. usually I would do some sport like badminton but this year I was too busy so as an alternative, I joined clubs that I may enjoy, especially those where there would be lots of chill people in like anime society etc. there are also baking societies, creative writing etc.

I think by joining a club, you would meet other people more easily and potentially meet new friends due to have similar likes to talk about.

another thing to do is if you have a hobby you used to love, try and go back and do those hobbies. or even do something new e.g., join a beginner language course (if you enjoy learning a new language).

for me I restarted drawing and writing novels alongside reading novels and manga. listening to music sometimes increases my mood but it depends on the situation as sometimes even with music it doesn't help increase my mood.

you could also try doing some volunteering work, by giving something to others may help increase your own feelings of worth and become less down since you know you have helped to change someone's life, knowing that your existence is something that is needed within society.

overall, this is all dependent on what you like and taking a further step to carry these out and by doing so it may change your way of thinking. also it is better to not always listen to your parents. I for one always get more stressed and anxious due to my parents since they kept on planning my future which I still don't know what exactly I want. many of my friends that I met at uni still haven't planned their future but all of us try to not think about it and just enjoy our time.

so I hope everything goes well with you all, and one thing that I must say is just stop thinking about the future, regardless the world would still spin and the time would definitely come when you need to make a decision but for now you are still experiencing the different pathways and still deciding on what catches your interest. and by forcing yourself to think about the future would only make your life even harder, hurting your mental well being.

if you are unsure of a future career, why not do some virtual online events or volunteer in something you find interesting and see how it goes before deciding . you have a long way ahead of you.

I know what majority may think when reading this. everyone may say I'm trying to be more optimistic, but in truth I'm not an optimistic person, I just try to occupy my life more so I would stop thinking of my pessimistic side. when I was in college, I was so close to being diagnosed with depression but then COVID happened and I totally skived any therapy sessions etc. which to be honest caused many hurdles during COVID lockdown and whenever I do feel down now, I try do something to distract myself to move out of that negative mindset as much as possible.

(p.s. watch some dramas, comedy etc.)
Great post.So many students who started uni in either 2019 or 2020 are feeling exactly like OP.It has been a very,very difficult time especially for those who were struggling with any mental health problems.
0
reply
CosmicApathy1
Badges: 18
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#11
Report 2 weeks ago
#11
Now imagine having those same learning disabilities except you fail everything at school and remain stupid forever. I hate when A* students start complaining about their education and **** like they're the one in the disadvantageous position.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#12
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#12
(Original post by CosmicApathy1)
Now imagine having those same learning disabilities except you fail everything at school and remain stupid forever. I hate when A* students start complaining about their education and **** like they're the one in the disadvantageous position.
Dude where is this hatred coming from? I did get these good grades but I overworked myself studying 60 hours a week just to please my parents. I have to also study extra long to actually process anything. Not all people with learning disabilities are ‘dumb’ or ‘stupid’. I was suicidal during my GCSEs and A levels because I was working so long just to keep up with their expectations, and at a level is still wasn’t enough. My specific disabilities get more obvious as I get older so especially since 16 it’s really obvious and my old tactics for masking aren’t working anymore as I’ve outgrown them and the work has become too hard for them to work.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#13
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#13
(Original post by Scotney)
Great post.So many students who started uni in either 2019 or 2020 are feeling exactly like OP.It has been a very,very difficult time especially for those who were struggling with any mental health problems.
Very true, and neurodivergent people especially like ADHD and autistic people have been affected even more, as often we can’t handle uncertainty well at all and that’s all this pandemic has been.
1
reply
Dentaldreams
Badges: 17
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#14
Report 2 weeks ago
#14
I’m so sorry, honestly because I can relate with you. I’ve lost all my motivation, reapplying to uni this year, I’m two/three years behind all my schoolmates. Feel like a total failure. I honestly know I have ADHD, one of my colleagues picked up on the traits. So I know how you feel.
You’ve got to stay happy. Your heath matters more than anything. Just explore what you’re passionate about! It takes a while but you’ll find it. What’re you studying at the moment?
1
reply
Scotney
Badges: 20
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#15
Report 1 week ago
#15
(Original post by Dentaldreams)
I’m so sorry, honestly because I can relate with you. I’ve lost all my motivation, reapplying to uni this year, I’m two/three years behind all my schoolmates. Feel like a total failure. I honestly know I have ADHD, one of my colleagues picked up on the traits. So I know how you feel.
You’ve got to stay happy. Your heath matters more than anything. Just explore what you’re passionate about! It takes a while but you’ll find it. What’re you studying at the moment?
Just to say 2 or 3 years is nothing when you get to uni so don't worry about that. You will probably have a better experience than your year group did. Good luck!
0
reply
Anonymous #6
#16
Report 1 week ago
#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi. I’m not sure how to phrase this so please bear with my ramble.

I’ve always been a top student, at GCSE I got straight A*s and was one of the hardest workers. I was a prefect too and took part in extra stuff outside of school. At a levels I lost a bit of motivation, I started struggling to keep up with my peers. When Covid hit my a levels were cancelled in 2020, and I was given A*AA, which is really good but lower than I was actually working at due to some dodgy teachers at my school playing favourites.

It was as this time I had the courage to tell my mum about my poor mental health and the fact that I’m certain I’m autistic. During Covid we looked into this and I was diagnosed with autism around my 18th. Like many I really struggled in the lockdown feeling like when things got back to normal my life would never be the same again as I left school, left my friends, and was moving out to uni.

Well uni was a disaster. I picked an awful uni just because it is RG, and after being left suicidal I dropped out just before the next 2 lockdowns. I was left without a purpose from November to the next September as no one would hire at the time, trapped with a parent that didn’t let me leave my bedroom or talk from 8-5 every day.

So I moved out for uni and I’ve been feeling so lost. This uni is better and I am happier there, but after so long without a purpose and now knowing my learning disabilities (very slow processing speed, executive dysfunction, dyspraxia) and anxiety, depression, and autism, I’m really struggling to find a purpose. I was always such a hard worker at school but can’t be bothered to study anymore and kind think of a career that I will ever enjoy.

Feeling like there is no end goal to work towards is taking a toll on my studies now. And outside of this my parents still are one working from home being horrible and the other working away all of the time, and I’m not good at making friends. I feel like I’ll never get a good job or make a family, and because I feel like this it’s affecting my actions and will make it a reality. I’ve tried antidepressants but they didn’t do anything, and I’m just trying to find anything that makes me happy but am failing.

I really need some advice, from anyone but especially people who have felt like this at some point. I’m really desperate. Thank you for reading this hot mess
Hi, I’m so so sorry to hear about your experience and I’m surprised at how unhelpful some people have been.

I am in a similar position to you; I struggle severely with depression and I am dyslexic.

I am still trying to figure out how to stay afloat but i can give you a bit of advice..Have you tried your universities counselling service?

That has been quite helpful to me, talking to a professional really helps you to process your emotions as well as develop strategies to deal with poor mental health.

Also, as you have very good GCSE and A Level grades have you considered tutoring?

I did a programme with the social mobility charity CoachBright which was such good experience and it really boosted my confidence. I had never done any tutoring before, and received full training from them. As this is a volunteering opportunity, it would look great on your cv too. I tutored a pupil in A-Level Politics.


I really hope things get better for you soon, and well done for persevering so far. You should be so proud of yourself!
0
reply
Dentaldreams
Badges: 17
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#17
Report 1 week ago
#17
(Original post by Scotney)
Just to say 2 or 3 years is nothing when you get to uni so don't worry about that. You will probably have a better experience than your year group did. Good luck!
I know, but I need to get into uni, can’t face more rejection🙈
thank you though!
0
reply
Scotney
Badges: 20
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#18
Report 1 week ago
#18
(Original post by Dentaldreams)
I know, but I need to get into uni, can’t face more rejection🙈
thank you though!
Oh fingers crossed and virtual hug! :console:You can only give it your best shot so try and stay positive.
1
reply
Dentaldreams
Badges: 17
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#19
Report 1 week ago
#19
(Original post by Scotney)
Oh fingers crossed and virtual hug! :console:You can only give it your best shot so try and stay positive.
Aww thank you 😊
I’m trying🤞
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How would you describe the quality of the digital skills you're taught at school?

Excellent (37)
9.61%
Okay (112)
29.09%
A bit lacking (145)
37.66%
Not good at all (91)
23.64%

Watched Threads

View All