I’m a y9 who needs help on my creative piece ASAP!

Watch
beeurll
Badges: 8
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
Hello, please rate and critique how I can improve my introduction thanks! (My GCSE
pathway is 6-8)

Worlds collide under the watchful eye of a tender sun. Her rays disperse within rotting greenery ; the cans, the plastic, waste.

Glass builds stroked by her ivory gaze, by the fair beams gently gliding against them; ricochetting the lining of blue above. As tires churn and howl tearing up layers of tarmac below. The hellish sound of bickered drivers and the beeping of their “prized” mobiles, annihilating the mere hearing I have left.
0
reply
gracieee16
Badges: 20
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#2
Report 1 week ago
#2
pm me
will respond tomorrow though
0
reply
pensive06
Badges: 3
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#3
Report 1 week ago
#3
best way for you to up your grades in your case. up the spag (forced semi colons and spelling), up the vocab level a notch and vary sentence openers. try different sentence length and use structure for effect, cyclical structure and the like if youre planning to start with this motif or imagery end with it also
1
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How would you describe the quality of the digital skills you're taught at school?

Excellent (13)
9.15%
Okay (42)
29.58%
A bit lacking (50)
35.21%
Not good at all (37)
26.06%

Watched Threads

View All