I feel like I’m always being used

Watch
mon166
Badges: 14
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
people usually come to me when they’ve got no one else and they just need someone to speak to for the time being.
say if someone had fallen out with their friends they’d happily ( or reluctantly at times) come to me and spend their time with me. but as soon as they’ve made up again they just leave me and completely forget about how I had helped them when they needed it the most.
even if it’s just short term, they’ll stand with me if they can’t find their own friends and as soon as they see them they’ll say something along of the lines “thank you, they’re here now” or “ oh that’s them!” or “oh I gotta go”. and barely leave me with a chance to reply, and just leave me on my own.

sometimes it’s not even implicit. others would just tell me that they’re going to stay with me until they’ve made up with their friends or that the only reason why they ask to hang out so much is because they have no one else. some even make me walk up to their friends because they don’t want to walk up alone as it would “look weird”. and I just kinda have to wander off after I’ve dropped them off. the worst part is most the time they don’t even ask, they say it as if I would do it anyway. (which is a point😭).

I always listen to other peoples problems and like giving them advice. hardly anything interesting happens in my life so people just usually talk about them. but on the rare occasion something happens to me and I want to talk about it with them, they just act so uninterested and don’t even bother giving me advice. I’ve actually been cut off mid sentence multiple times whilst speaking about my problems, just so they can talk about them. I tried to continue with what I was gonna say, but just gave up in the end as I knew there was no chance of them listening.

Lately I’ve been tryna figure out why I’m always the second or last option for people. And I just really don’t know why. I don’t want people to use me anymore but I’m afraid if I don’t let them they just won’t even bother speaking to me. I really don’t know what to do. Pls help.
0
reply
mon166
Badges: 14
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#2
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#2
woah that’s a bit long
0
reply
CosmicApathy1
Badges: 18
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#3
Report 6 days ago
#3
You don't have to respond to them. You can cut them out.
1
reply
nsnsjss
Badges: 10
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#4
Report 6 days ago
#4
i know what this feels like and you should cut them out. its better being alone than being around people who devalue you. i had no friends for like 2 years because i chose to leave a toxic friend group and honestly even though i was pretty lonely, and never had anyone to partner with, i managed to make those years count. i read a lotttt and it benefited me later in life (it got me the grades i have now).

not saying you should do what i did but defintely filter out the peoole who make you unhappy or insecure even if it means you end up with only yourself. At least you wont have that problem of being left out or ignored bugging you still

but better, test your friends first. come up with something that important like you wanting ti go to uni or you having an argument with someone else and see the amount of investment they give in your problems. call them out in a fun way like "heyyy i was saying something" or "are you just gonna leave me here" when they leave you so they might feel guilty or change their behaviour. if they still dont care then honestly bye hye to them.
1
reply
ah6100tsr
Badges: 12
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#5
Report 6 days ago
#5
Yeah, I've been through this too. Cut people off, tell them you don't have time for them. Don't make it a regular thing though, you don't wanna end up with no friends.
0
reply
mon166
Badges: 14
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#6
Report Thread starter 5 days ago
#6
(Original post by nsnsjss)
i know what this feels like and you should cut them out. its better being alone than being around people who devalue you. i had no friends for like 2 years because i chose to leave a toxic friend group and honestly even though i was pretty lonely, and never had anyone to partner with, i managed to make those years count. i read a lotttt and it benefited me later in life (it got me the grades i have now).

not saying you should do what i did but defintely filter out the peoole who make you unhappy or insecure even if it means you end up with only yourself. At least you wont have that problem of being left out or ignored bugging you still

but better, test your friends first. come up with something that important like you wanting ti go to uni or you having an argument with someone else and see the amount of investment they give in your problems. call them out in a fun way like "heyyy i was saying something" or "are you just gonna leave me here" when they leave you so they might feel guilty or change their behaviour. if they still dont care then honestly bye hye to them.
yeahh honestly a few years ago I did the exact same and I think that’s kinda how I ended up with not many friends left and I went everywhere on my own. the good part of it was though I found one really good friend who doesn’t leaving me hanging or use me, which I’m grateful for.

and yesss I’m def gonna try call them out playfully now and hope they realise what they’re doing!!

I also need to start reading more too ( I’m so unmotivated it hurts)😭
0
reply
mon166
Badges: 14
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#7
Report Thread starter 5 days ago
#7
(Original post by ah6100tsr)
Yeah, I've been through this too. Cut people off, tell them you don't have time for them. Don't make it a regular thing though, you don't wanna end up with no friends.
yess I did this and I think that’s how I don’t have many people now, but I’m slowly starting to talk to more people again and this is the situation
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Would you give consent for uni's to contact your parent/trusted person in a mental health crisis?

Yes - my parent/carer (102)
34.69%
Yes - a trusted person (83)
28.23%
No (78)
26.53%
I'm not sure (31)
10.54%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed