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How to cope with best friend having anorexia
My best friend has severe anorexia nervosa. It's scary to look at her she's so ill. This thread isn't isn't to ask for advice on how to help her because I already know that and she is receiving help, it's more to ask for some advice on how I can cope with this.
I lost one of my other best friends 3 months ago to cystic fibrosis. Part of the cause of her death was because she was so underweight (BMI 15/16) her body couldn't fight the chest infection she'd caught. However, she ate well - it was her illness that wouldn't let her put on weight.
But my friend with anorexia isn't eating and is even more underweight. The number of physical symptoms is scary too - chest pains/potassium deficiencies/dehydration/weakness as well as the other classic symptoms of anorexia. She's just been referred to go into an inpatient unit and as bad as this sounds - I really hope they section her.
I"m so scared of losing her. I've lost one friend recently and I couldn't bear to lose another. It makes me so sad to read her online journal (she's aware I do and is ok with this) and see her struggling so much. She's happy to die - she wants to be so thin she floats away. I just don't know how to cope with this. I'm hoping they'll put her in hospital but until then it's a ticking time bomb. Realistically she could die any minute because her heart is so weak. I'm scared.
I lost one of my other best friends 3 months ago to cystic fibrosis. Part of the cause of her death was because she was so underweight (BMI 15/16) her body couldn't fight the chest infection she'd caught. However, she ate well - it was her illness that wouldn't let her put on weight.
But my friend with anorexia isn't eating and is even more underweight. The number of physical symptoms is scary too - chest pains/potassium deficiencies/dehydration/weakness as well as the other classic symptoms of anorexia. She's just been referred to go into an inpatient unit and as bad as this sounds - I really hope they section her.
I"m so scared of losing her. I've lost one friend recently and I couldn't bear to lose another. It makes me so sad to read her online journal (she's aware I do and is ok with this) and see her struggling so much. She's happy to die - she wants to be so thin she floats away. I just don't know how to cope with this. I'm hoping they'll put her in hospital but until then it's a ticking time bomb. Realistically she could die any minute because her heart is so weak. I'm scared.
I'm so sorry to hear about this, so many people dont understand just how dangerous anorexia is 
I dont think there is much i can do to help except just tell your friend how much she means to you and that she doesnt know what you would do without her.
Do you if something triggered her anorexia?
eg Bullying
Abuse
I dont think there is much i can do to help except just tell your friend how much she means to you and that she doesnt know what you would do without her.Do you if something triggered her anorexia?
eg Bullying
Abuse
I regularly tell her how much she means to me and that I don't know what I'd do if I lost her and she tries to reassure me that she won't when realistically it's quite likely. I know bits of what triggered it but a lot of it is due to her having poor mental health anyway (we did meet in a psychiatric unit and this was before her ED!)
Anonymous
I regularly tell her how much she means to me and that I don't know what I'd do if I lost her and she tries to reassure me that she won't when realistically it's quite likely. I know bits of what triggered it but a lot of it is due to her having poor mental health anyway (we did meet in a psychiatric unit and this was before her ED!)
It might be stating the obvious, but the doctors treating your friend will probably know the severity of her case and will know the appropriate precautions to take. Hopefully they'll be able to treat her and you won't lose her, perhaps it's the sheer shock of her physical appearence that's worrying you? They'll surely give her psychological treatments for her depression which should help.
Really hope she gets better.
i used to have an eating disorder, and i went into 'recovery' too.
i hated it whenever people talked about my appearance to me. you're looking so much better, you look nice, etc just came across as ******** patronising lies. whilst YOU may think it helps- keep it to a minimum. say it once or twice, but focus on how glad you are that she's healthy again.
support her, take her mind off of things. if she's away for long periods of time..make her care packages. include books, letters, drawings, etc. try to avoid photographs of her/you together because it'll just make her upset that she's not THAT size any more.
take her out to do something fun- i ******* hated shopping afterwards and hated the typical coffee etc. because even though it's coffee, in your mind you're still comparing calories etc. i'd take her to the cinema, stay in and make stuff (which sounds really lame but it can be fun!), watch movies, go out and do stuff like ice skating/go carting/whatever (which might be too much if she's still feeling a bit rough but maybe for later?) or visit places. a lot of people will be judging her/being harsh so just honestly be really kind and loving about everything and she'll appreciate it lots.
reassure her that she can trust you with everything and that even when she's down and upset she can talk to you. NEVER make judgments or think well that's silly, say that you can understand why she's thinking that but she needn't worry etc and try your best to help. ask her- or maybe just see- if she just wants a friend to hang out with, or a friend who will know everything and help her along, and is a confident as well as a laugh?
also try to keep her out of massive social situations which will spike her anxiety. i found that going to parties etc just made me want to die, as opposed to taking my mind off of things etc.
i hated it whenever people talked about my appearance to me. you're looking so much better, you look nice, etc just came across as ******** patronising lies. whilst YOU may think it helps- keep it to a minimum. say it once or twice, but focus on how glad you are that she's healthy again.
support her, take her mind off of things. if she's away for long periods of time..make her care packages. include books, letters, drawings, etc. try to avoid photographs of her/you together because it'll just make her upset that she's not THAT size any more.
take her out to do something fun- i ******* hated shopping afterwards and hated the typical coffee etc. because even though it's coffee, in your mind you're still comparing calories etc. i'd take her to the cinema, stay in and make stuff (which sounds really lame but it can be fun!), watch movies, go out and do stuff like ice skating/go carting/whatever (which might be too much if she's still feeling a bit rough but maybe for later?) or visit places. a lot of people will be judging her/being harsh so just honestly be really kind and loving about everything and she'll appreciate it lots.
reassure her that she can trust you with everything and that even when she's down and upset she can talk to you. NEVER make judgments or think well that's silly, say that you can understand why she's thinking that but she needn't worry etc and try your best to help. ask her- or maybe just see- if she just wants a friend to hang out with, or a friend who will know everything and help her along, and is a confident as well as a laugh?
also try to keep her out of massive social situations which will spike her anxiety. i found that going to parties etc just made me want to die, as opposed to taking my mind off of things etc.
i think you sound so brave for what you are doing and i have a friend with and eating disorder and its so scary thinking shes getting worse eery day nd i may lose her
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