My partners family

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
I don’t know where else to put this to ask for help and advice. I’m struggling so much at the moment with my own issues and I’m finding my boyfriends family too much to deal with alongside my own family issues.
My dad has advanced prostate cancer and was diagnosed in February this year, my aunt is expected to die before this Christmas due to pancreatic and lung cancer and I’ve recently been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. My family is amazing, the absolute best family you could get, but it’s so upsetting being at the house because I see how crushed my mum and dad are daily. My anxiety is at the point where I haven’t been into college for months now. So, basically, I have my own issues.

My partner really is my life, he is wonderful - as cliche as is sounds, he is the most selfless, kind and compassion person I’ve ever met. He’s definitely the right person for me. We have been together four years and without him, I don’t know where my mental health would be. We argue and our relationship is far from perfect but I would never ever give up on us - I couldn’t be happier within our relationship. His family is destroying everything, though. His sister has recently been diagnosed with BPD and has been let go from university. She frequently physically and verbally abuses him, his mother and his father. She verbally abuses him at least three times a day and has given him the worst anxiety I have ever seen - he can’t go outside, he can’t be around people and he can’t cope with people shouting anymore, he will break down. (I would like it to be noted that I’m not shaming her for having BPD, I just thought that it is important to mention as if she was behaving like that without a mental illness I would have called the police on her by now and I think it changes the situation a lot). Her behaviour is off the scale and I’m not sure I could even quantify it. Today I had a medical school interview and she purposefully ruined it by coming in the room and screaming at me and proceeding to physically abuse my partner (let it be known I hadn’t spoken to her today and, hand on heart, we have never had any conflict and I was actually confident in our relationship up until today, we have always been pleasant to each other). I don’t know what to do. I try and support him 110% and stay by his side but I don’t know how much more I’m supposed to take. Thank you.
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black tea
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#2
Report 1 week ago
#2
Difficult situation. If it was me, I would probably end the relationship to focus on myself and my family but I appreciate that is not what most people would do. What I will say is, regardless of her diagnosis, if you boyfriend's sister is being violent, you should call the police - a personality disorder is not an excuse to be abusive to people and you shouldn't be putting up with it.
Last edited by black tea; 1 week ago
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bones-mccoy
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#3
Report 1 week ago
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As above, having a personality disorder is no excuse for verbal and physical abuse. Is she receiving any help?

Living in this environment is going to make your own mental health problems - is there anywhere you and your boyfriend could live alone?
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