Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
I’m in my first year at university and decided to stay at home and go to my local town university due to struggling with my mental health
It started off great , I made friends and we were planning on moving out the next year and I felt so happy. Slowly I have been loosing friends and I am now in a friendship group that I feel don’t like me at all. They never accept my offers to go out and they now don’t want to move out with me next year. I see all my old friends that have moved away to uni on Snapchat having so much fun with their flatmates and have their next year housing situation planned and they all look so happy .
I am only in uni for a few hours a week and spend the rest of my days at home sleeping or working.
I’m completely depressed and feel I have no other option but to drop out but I feel then I’ll be a failure.
I really need some advice or someone I can talk to I feel so alone right now.
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awanderingpixel
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#2
Report 1 week ago
#2
Being a home student can often feel really isolating, because you don't feel fully engaged with uni life. Take it from someone who's also lived in halls, however - it can also be fairly lonely at times; that can unfortunately just be a part of the uni experience.
It sucks when you feel that your efforts at friendship aren't being reciprocated, especially if it feels like everyone else is in a friendship group (but remember, no matter what social media looks like, people are rarely having as much fun as it looks like). Try spending more time at the uni site (eg by joining societies) as a way of feeling more involved in uni life and hopefully making new connections and even friends.
If you need a sympathetic listener, Nightline should probably operate in your area, and you can call them up pretty much whenever to just have a chat. Your uni might also have something like a welfare officer, though it can be awkward talking to someone official sometimes
Finally, good luck! Lots of people find the first term of uni really tough, and it almost always improves later. I hope the same goes for you..
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AGroves
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#3
Report 1 week ago
#3
Try getting involved with a society of like minded people at your university, its a great way to make friends! From that point on, your experience at university should improve.

University isn't for everyone, if you aren't enjoying it then you cant force yourself to love it. I dropped out and haven't looked back since, there is plenty to do post university and so long as you have a plan of what to do (reapply to another course/university or start in full time employment), no one should question your decision. I went through a really useful company who helped me find work and they specialise in this kind of thing - Sikono Careers.
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mike23mike
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#4
Report 1 week ago
#4
An easy way to be popular is to offer to take the lead in group assignments - no one wants to do that so if you volunteer then you will be loved and in the future others will want you in their group. Its not an easy ride though, you will need to edit other people's work and constantly chase them for updates.
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Wired_1800
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#5
Report 1 week ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m in my first year at university and decided to stay at home and go to my local town university due to struggling with my mental health
It started off great , I made friends and we were planning on moving out the next year and I felt so happy. Slowly I have been loosing friends and I am now in a friendship group that I feel don’t like me at all. They never accept my offers to go out and they now don’t want to move out with me next year. I see all my old friends that have moved away to uni on Snapchat having so much fun with their flatmates and have their next year housing situation planned and they all look so happy .
I am only in uni for a few hours a week and spend the rest of my days at home sleeping or working.
I’m completely depressed and feel I have no other option but to drop out but I feel then I’ll be a failure.
I really need some advice or someone I can talk to I feel so alone right now.
Your situation is unfortunate but it is clear that living at home would be negative. Most people operate under the saying “out of sight is out of mind”, hence it would be hard to keep regular contact with others.

I think your initial friendships were formed because people were new and tried to be nice. Once they had settled, friendship groups would evolved based on identified interests. Sadly, you staying away prevented you from being part of that process.

My advice to you, if you choose to take it, is to try to move into Halls next term i.e. January 2022. That way you can salvage any time left and make friends with people in halls. Not everyone would have sorted out their living arrangements by Jan so you could still have a chance.

I understand your mental health situation but sadly not many people care about it or would consider it. If you are not part of their group(s) they would not really care much. It is sad but true. Good luck
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Anonymous #2
#6
Report 1 week ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m in my first year at university and decided to stay at home and go to my local town university due to struggling with my mental health
It started off great , I made friends and we were planning on moving out the next year and I felt so happy. Slowly I have been loosing friends and I am now in a friendship group that I feel don’t like me at all. They never accept my offers to go out and they now don’t want to move out with me next year. I see all my old friends that have moved away to uni on Snapchat having so much fun with their flatmates and have their next year housing situation planned and they all look so happy .
I am only in uni for a few hours a week and spend the rest of my days at home sleeping or working.
I’m completely depressed and feel I have no other option but to drop out but I feel then I’ll be a failure.
I really need some advice or someone I can talk to I feel so alone right now.
I wouldn't worry about how other people seem to be having more fun on social media. Who presents anything but a perfect, happy life on there anyway? I can imagine living at home can be fairly isolating, and I know it's difficult when you're demoralised but if you possibly can, put in loads of effort in trying to meet new people. Sounds like that first lot weren't worth your time anyway if they're ignoring you.

Second point, living in uni halls ain't all its cracked up to be in my personal experience. Many people (myself included), find it very lonely and isolating so don't automatically assume that you're hugely missing out. All you can do is make the best of your situation, or if you feel like your mental health is at serious risk then consider dropping out. You wouldn't be a failure, thousands of students every year leave their first uni then reapply somewhere else/transfer. I'm planning on doing the same because I strongly regret my uni choice, but I'm giving it a bit more time to ensure it's the right call. Make sure to speak to others before doing so however, as its a big decision that you don't want to make rashly.
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Anonymous #3
#7
Report 1 week ago
#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m in my first year at university and decided to stay at home and go to my local town university due to struggling with my mental health
It started off great , I made friends and we were planning on moving out the next year and I felt so happy. Slowly I have been loosing friends and I am now in a friendship group that I feel don’t like me at all. They never accept my offers to go out and they now don’t want to move out with me next year. I see all my old friends that have moved away to uni on Snapchat having so much fun with their flatmates and have their next year housing situation planned and they all look so happy .
I am only in uni for a few hours a week and spend the rest of my days at home sleeping or working.
I’m completely depressed and feel I have no other option but to drop out but I feel then I’ll be a failure.
I really need some advice or someone I can talk to I feel so alone right now.
You want to drop out because your friends won't meet up with you and don't want to move out with you? What are you going to do when you have to move out on your own permanently? You can't have friends to hold your hand all your life so you can be like a proper adult and accept that or carry on the way you are which is absolutely fine but don't expect to anywhere
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Anonymous #2
#8
Report 1 week ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
You want to drop out because your friends won't meet up with you and don't want to move out with you? What are you going to do when you have to move out on your own permanently? You can't have friends to hold your hand all your life so you can be like a proper adult and accept that or carry on the way you are which is absolutely fine but don't expect to anywhere
This guy is clearly really struggling, you think this is gonna make them feel any better? If he's depressed then being told that they're not going to get anywhere in life or that they're pathetic/useless is exactly what their brain is already telling them. It's not true, and you reinforcing it by being unnecessarily judgemental will not help them one bit.
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Anonymous #3
#9
Report 1 week ago
#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
This guy is clearly really struggling, you think this is gonna make them feel any better? If he's depressed then being told that they're not going to get anywhere in life or that they're pathetic/useless is exactly what their brain is already telling them. It's not true, and you reinforcing it by being unnecessarily judgemental will not help them one bit.
Well they can do something about their problems or not bro
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Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
This guy is clearly really struggling, you think this is gonna make them feel any better? If he's depressed then being told that they're not going to get anywhere in life or that they're pathetic/useless is exactly what their brain is already telling them. It's not true, and you reinforcing it by being unnecessarily judgemental will not help them one bit.
I really appreciate you saying this Thankyou so much ! <3
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s.zar
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#11
Report 2 days ago
#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m in my first year at university and decided to stay at home and go to my local town university due to struggling with my mental health
It started off great , I made friends and we were planning on moving out the next year and I felt so happy. Slowly I have been loosing friends and I am now in a friendship group that I feel don’t like me at all. They never accept my offers to go out and they now don’t want to move out with me next year. I see all my old friends that have moved away to uni on Snapchat having so much fun with their flatmates and have their next year housing situation planned and they all look so happy .
I am only in uni for a few hours a week and spend the rest of my days at home sleeping or working.
I’m completely depressed and feel I have no other option but to drop out but I feel then I’ll be a failure.
I really need some advice or someone I can talk to I feel so alone right now.
Which uni are you in? Message me if you want to talk
Last edited by s.zar; 2 days ago
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Anonymous #5
#12
Report 1 day ago
#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m in my first year at university and decided to stay at home and go to my local town university due to struggling with my mental health
It started off great , I made friends and we were planning on moving out the next year and I felt so happy. Slowly I have been loosing friends and I am now in a friendship group that I feel don’t like me at all. They never accept my offers to go out and they now don’t want to move out with me next year. I see all my old friends that have moved away to uni on Snapchat having so much fun with their flatmates and have their next year housing situation planned and they all look so happy .
I am only in uni for a few hours a week and spend the rest of my days at home sleeping or working.
I’m completely depressed and feel I have no other option but to drop out but I feel then I’ll be a failure.
I really need some advice or someone I can talk to I feel so alone right now.
Hello Anonymous,
You don't have to feel that way.
"Look yourself in the mirror and say FUVK MY FEELINGS" 20TIMES.. SAY IT LOUD ENOUGH.

One thing you should know about making friends at this stage in your life is that it's dependent on common interests - like your talents, skills and passion. Do you know how to play 🏀 or 🎸? Do you know how to sing or ✍️ write? Do you love crypto or making money online? That list is endless, just look at your life and the goals you want to achieve before the next five years. Start developing yourself towards that and then associate yourself with people who have that common interests and you will never run out of friends...

One more thing_ PEOPLE RESPECT YOU MORE WHEN YOU DONT GIVE A ****🖕. May be you should start reading a book like " The Art of Not giving a ****"...... Just gain more relevance and people will begin to pester you.

Download ficool app
There is a book in the app called ART OF THE HUSTLE.... Try to read it, it will fit up your spirit.

BUILD YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
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ShubhamAgarwal
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#13
Report 12 minutes ago
#13
Make new acquaintances. Making new acquaintances is the number one technique to deal with your loneliness.
Concentrate on your studies and course work.
Make a phone call...
Discover new interests... and yourself.
Return to your home...
Speak with a friend or a professional.
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Anonymous #6
#14
Report 1 minute ago
#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m in my first year at university and decided to stay at home and go to my local town university due to struggling with my mental health
It started off great , I made friends and we were planning on moving out the next year and I felt so happy. Slowly I have been loosing friends and I am now in a friendship group that I feel don’t like me at all. They never accept my offers to go out and they now don’t want to move out with me next year. I see all my old friends that have moved away to uni on Snapchat having so much fun with their flatmates and have their next year housing situation planned and they all look so happy .
I am only in uni for a few hours a week and spend the rest of my days at home sleeping or working.
I’m completely depressed and feel I have no other option but to drop out but I feel then I’ll be a failure.
I really need some advice or someone I can talk to I feel so alone right now.
Hey don't worry about this There are many things in life that we are not satisfied with. These include our academics, social life, our mental health, etc. However, we all have many things that give us comfort such as our family, pets, or even the daily hobby or the morning walk. We must remember that we are responsible for our well being. If you think that the friend group doesn't want you around, then you are not bound to pursue or adjust yourself to fit in. Instead try to find new friends (this does not mean going up to people and asking them to be your friend). Remember that you're in university. There are plenty of activities that keep happening every week. Try to join one and talk to people over there; you are bound to run into someone with similar interests. If everything goes well, go for a meal. In my personal experience, I have found that relationships flourish over meals. I'm not really sure why but somehow it can bond people. If everything seems okay after the meal, exchange contacts and plan further. I hope this helps haha and always stay positive
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