Cambridge interview but awful situation

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zootedarmadillo
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#1
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#1
Just as a warning beforehand this has themes of suicide and death. It’s a lot in general and I’m still trying to process everything that’s happened.

So my friend Alyssa and I both applied for Cambridge. We had been great friends and arrived to do as well in our studies as possible. We both envisioned from year 10 that we would love to study at Cambridge, me for law and her for history. We stuck by each other through everything, up until a few days ago. I found out I’d been accepted for an interview which felt amazing, however Alyssa hadn’t. She cried a river’s worth of tears and I consoled her at every possibility, saying that there’s always other options and this is no means the end of the road. I thought I had done everything in my power to reassure her and I thought things were at least better. Until they weren’t.

Sunday evening I received the worst phone call of my life. She’d killed herself. The flood of emotions, raw guilt and profuse heartache is something I’ll never get over. I am in total shock. I feel as though nothing will ever be the same. There’d been no prior warning signs and I thought I’d done everything in my power to comfort and reassure her.

I’ve been a mess since Sunday. I’ll likely not turn up for the interview since the incessant remorse would eat me alive.
Sorry for typing such an extensive amount but I just want guidance in this horrendous time.
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journeyaway
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#2
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#2
This is such an awful situation and I'm sorry to hear. With how recent this news is, it's understandable that you're not wanting to show up for the interview at all. With that said, this is something you have always wanted - so are you sure you'd be able to look back in three years and be at peace with not giving this a shot?

You may want to consider liaising with the interview organisers to let them know what has happened, so that they can consider how best to support you in the interview - or whether there's the possibility of a date change. Extenuating circumstances.

In the meantime, I hope you get plenty of support from family and friends. Best of luck.

EDIT: I need to reiterate, OP, that what has happened is not your fault. None of it is. You have been a good friend.
Last edited by journeyaway; 1 week ago
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Cancelled Alice
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#3
You know it won’t have really been about failing to get in to Cambridge, a healthy person just wouldn’t kill themselves over something like that. You couldn’t have prevented this from happening, what ever you had done she needed professional help. Try not to torture yourself by thinking I could have done this better or I could have done that because the fact is you couldn’t and even if you could it wouldn’t make a difference, life is for the living. She made her choice.

As everyone will say, so I don’t know how helpful this is, I am sorry for your loss and as someone who had lost someone to suicide, there is a path forward.
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Anonymous #1
#4
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#4
So so sorry for your loss, what an awful time this must be for you. As above: this must have way more to do with not getting an interview. For many, many young people not getting an interview or offer from a Uni they have dreamed about going to is very upsetting but not to the point of taking your own life. She must have had many more things going on besides this.

I agree, you should speak to your college/admissions and postpone your interview if possible. You were a fantastic friend and if she is looking down on you now, and she was a true friend, she would want you to go for it and give it your all.
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nevecait18
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#5
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#5
Sorry to hear about your loss, definitely mention to the interviewers that you are experiencing this and possibly ask to push your interview back - if they cannot do this for you, then its a decision up to you and either choice is okay! Take time for yourself and take care of yourself

As the others have mentioned above, I am sure that Alyssa did have other things going on besides the mounting pressure from UCAS applications - don't feel that you are selfish or greedy for taking this opportunity, I am sure she would have supported you no matter what.
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