Finding it hard to make friends at uni

Anonymous because I feel pretty silly just having to make this thread.

First off, I'm sorry if this topic has been done to death; I guess I'm looking for some alternative perspectives, and perhaps one or two of you may have been in a similar situation.

I'm in my first year of university, and it's been dawning on me for the past couple of weeks that I really don't have any 'real friends' here. To be more precise, (bar three people) there's no one that I can say that I really click with. Perhaps I'm rushing into things, but it just seems like pretty much everyone else has made really good friends that they get along well with and while I have a few acquaintances (whom I am very thankful for), I really don't have anyone I feel confident about being good friends with by the end of the year. I suppose going back home recently has really got me thinking, because I have some geuinely great friends back there and I've always taken them for granted. How stupid I am.

I want to point out though, that I have made an effort to meet people (admittedly not a huge effort) but I just can't really find many people that I get along really well with. The fact that people have formed their own 'groups' (so to speak) doesn't help, and people are quite insular in the sense that they'll only really socialise with people from their halls and / or their course (I don't blame them because these are the people they spend most of their time with but it does make things quite difficult).
I guess another factor is my halls. While most people make lots of friends in their halls, my halls are pretty rubbish and there's very little social events organised. People do arrange their own kitchen parties, but being in a very secluded area of the halls coupled with me not liking alcohol leaves me quite excluded. I often think how different things would be if I was in other halls.
I've also tried going down the society avenue, but people's attendance is too sporadically for me to make any meaningful friendships. Perhaps I should join more societies?
Going back to the three people I do feel like I click with, they're in a different halls from me (which is not far away, but not next door either), so I'm quite excluded in that respect. I do make a real effort with them, and I think at present, if there's anyone I would be likely to share a flat with next year, it would be them. But I often feel as though the relationship is (at times) one sided, with them often not returning my texts / messages, and me having to call them up. They're also really indecisive, so it's often difficult to actually organise much beyond me going over to their halls.

I know this has been really long, and I do apologise for that. I'm just looking for advice because I feel like I'm on a downwards spiral, and it's beginning to get to me.

Reply 1

... ...~~>>> competetiva

be happy that you live at halls! i live like an hour away from uni - tell me !!!!

i think if you would live in different hall you would find same excuses any way :smile:

. change the way you see the world know ! . just put ;differentcolour ' :smile:

i am sure you will make some good friends soon :smile:

you seem to be good guy/girl hehe

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

... ...~~>>> competetiva

be happy that you live at halls! i live like an hour away from uni - tell me !!!!

i think if you would live in different hall you would find same excuses any way :smile:

. change the way you see the world know ! . just put ;differentcolour ' :smile:

i am sure you will make some good friends soon :smile:

you seem to be good guy/girl hehe

Thanks for your reply :smile:

. I know my problems are really quite menial in the grand scheme of things; it's just been really getting to me lately. Have you found it difficult to make friends not being in halls? And if you haven't how did you meet your friends?

I just don't have that many people that I feel close to, and I really wish I did have that sort of understanding with people that only comes with being good friends.

(I'm a guy btw :p:

)

Reply 3

high_definition

Dont worry mate. It took me untill towards the end of the first year to find the friends im still tight with now.

Reply 4

... ...~~>>> competetiva

Anonymous

Thanks for your reply :smile:

)

lol hello boy then :P

mind telling me what uni are you in ? maybe we are in the same uni even ehhe

well...to be honest i did not make any good good friend in uni and yes I am thinking a bout it sometimes, but then... who told you that you must have BeST FRIENDS in the 1st weeks ??? :biggrin:

. . . what i do is just chat anything to people that i see. but then it happens that i see them once and then never again ahah . . . only few people that i actually manage bump into few ties in a week :smile:

. and then you never know who you will click with .

with me - - whenever i think that i will manage to get on with the person i actually donT and when i think that there is noooo way i am go click with that person, i actually end up being good friends with them :smile:

so i guess, just give it a time

Reply 5

loz390

Hi everyone,
your not the only ones who feel this way and yes i think the problem is minor compared to all other stuff that goes on but when your going through it seems a lot worse! I was speaking to my tutor the other day and he said he had problems had first but then it got the summer and realised he had a few good friends that he could trust and realised that's all you need! I'm in my first year and only 2nd week so I know I just need to give it time but my flatmates seem to get on really weel and to be honest I feel like I have never quite fitted in, I think it's just my personality. I got on really well with one of my flatmates but I don't alwas see her because we are on different courses and I am making friends on my course but it's just going to take time! My mum gave me good advice that she found out when she went to uni that people may feel just as lost as you but hide it better!
All I can say is give it time and be yourself and there must be some people somewhere that you can relate to.

Reply 6

wanderlust.xx

God damnit I just didn't read the date. Fantastic.

Reply 7

montemoney

do the two people above me realise they posted on a thread thats like a year old?
im confused

Reply 8

aria291

wow this is so old, I genuinely want to know how you guys are doing now? Did you end up making friends?

Reply 9

cc2k22

Original post by ... ...~~&gt

be happy that you live at halls! i live like an hour away from uni - tell me !!!!

i think if you would live in different hall you would find same excuses any way :smile:

. change the way you see the world know ! . just put ;differentcolour ' :smile:

i am sure you will make some good friends soon :smile:

you seem to be good guy/girl hehe

yeah a lot of people think they’ve made a super smart decision when they tell me they’ll be living at home for first year… sure it’s financially smart but in terms of social life it’s the very worst thing you could do!!!