shared house annoyance. Will it ever end?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
Housemate situation but it’s been put under relationship for some unknown reason. kinda wanna vent but also I do question why people can be so difficult to live with sometimes and how to deal with it.

There’s been a number of things which luckily have been resolved mostly either by me sorting it out or confrontating my housemate in a respectful way but there’s always something with this person and as much as they are generally chatty and nice to converse with when it comes to house things she’s very selfish and well in my eyes feels she’s entitled or something and I for one just can’t wrap my head around her nor do I wanna deal with her on times.

She moved into the house in late August ive been here a year prior. We’ve had issues with her boyfriend staying over 5 times a week frequently, even starting to work in this town and using our home as a place to stay rent and bill free which after about 2/3 months was finally resolved as he has joined the tenancy which is a relief but that was a whole thing. Another thing which she finally has got off my back about is the council tax. I won’t go into too much detail about it because everyone should know how it all works but the basics of it was I was going to be a part time student and work and she was mad about that because she thought she’d pay lots and asked me to be full time student because she thought she would get a discount if I was a student.. but due to my course I found I could only do it full time. Which I told her and thought she’d be happy with but… Then she later found out that that was actually worse for her because she had to pay it on her own if I was full time. None of this was in my control but I had to deal with remarks and her annoyance about it such as “I can’t pay your bit” even though I’d be exempt and even though my choices are my own and if she wants to live in a house and work that’s her choice and her issue.. and she clearly had no idea about how council tax works. She gave me a really hard time and was ranting to me about how she couldn’t afford it and putting it on me even though I went out of my way to help her sort it all out.. Luckily that was resolved only because she finally accepted it and found out she was owed a lot of money from work so could pay it off. Relief. Was a complete nightmare to deal with her at that point.

Other issues have been more general like expecting to use my things and not replacing it etc. So she loves her coffee and uses a lot of milk and we did use to share and take in turns buying it but frequently myself and partner would have to replace it as she would say “I can’t go to shop im working” she would use up most of the milk and so we asked to buy our own milks as we couldn’t keep going to the shop for it daily and we’d never get our money’s worth. Literally daily! She had a little hissy fit about that but she had to get over it. Then it was things like her running out of coffee she asked to use some of mine which I said sure (at that moment) she made two coffees for her and 2 for her partner and then continued using it for a week 4 cups a day.. so I put it away in my cupboard as half of it was gone. She messaged me asking where it was so I told her she needed to buy her own and she had attitude like “oh so the coffee is an issue now too” even though it’s mine and I’ve never used her coffee. Told me whatever etc but I was civil towards her and said sorry just it’s mine, you used a lot.. She finally accepted it and got her own. Same thing with sauces she would take a whole bottle of ketchup that we had just bought and use the whole thing in one sitting so I had to start hiding my ketchup too after buying 1 every week for a month due to her excessively using.

The other things are stuff like toothbrushes of mine and other housemates being knocked on the floor as a few of us have electric stand up ones. She wouldn’t even pick them up just ignorance and having her and her bf’s brushes in our holder touching my partners brush which he found unhygienic, the holder would be full of water daily due to how messy she was too. Found another holder which was hers in the spare room and seperated them and now put mine in holder so it doesn’t end up on the floor. Luckily didn’t have to approach her about that one and she didn’t ask about it.

The latest thing she’s doing is using our cutlery even though she has plenty of her own.. I’m then having food and not being able to find any of our cutlery. Ok I could use hers but I don’t need to or want too and I just can’t understand why she needs to use our things when she has hers. I’ve never lived with someone so difficult or selfish. It’s unhygienic imo too.

She’s a nice enough girl when you talk to her and I’ve had great chats with her many times but it’s only on her terms. Sometimes she’ll completely ignore you when you’ve said hello in the kitchen and then you just awkwardly make food in silence.. until she fancies hitting up a convo. Just don’t understand people like her nor do I want to keep having to confront her about stupid things like this because she just gets an attitude with you for not wanting to have to share your things with her. It’s not like she ever gives back. She’s also used countless of washing pods of mine and never replaced and they are bloody expensive!

Really she’s just saved herself a lot of money and effort. Which is extremely rude and sly. She also never cleans unless you literally keep asking her to. There’s a rota set up so people know what they’re doing every week we share it out equally but unless we remind her she doesn’t do it. She’ll miss weeks of doing it because she “can’t” as she has work. Even though she works 6pm til late sometimes and has the whole day to do 1 chore. One chore once a week is all is asked of her.

Another housemate the other day asked her when she would hoover as he was on mopping and she said she couldn’t do it at 12pm they spoke and she went to work at 6pm and was in her room all day before so she could’ve easily done it. So he hoovered instead and the mopping didn’t get done. I’m always doing things for her too like she washes her clothes and leaves them in the washing machine and so when I need to use the machine I have to put her things in drier and occasionally I don’t mind but I think she expects me to do it now because she’s done it several times.

Idk what my point is with this post completely it’s just a rant but god, I really don’t understand people like her who take advantage and take take take.

Anyone else have some housemate nightmares? Maybe they’re worse than mine and would make me feel a little less bothered about it all. I mean it could be worse Ik but I shouldn’t have to deal with this stuff either
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Fxsr
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#2
Report 1 week ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Housemate situation but it’s been put under relationship for some unknown reason. kinda wanna vent but also I do question why people can be so difficult to live with sometimes and how to deal with it.

There’s been a number of things which luckily have been resolved mostly either by me sorting it out or confrontating my housemate in a respectful way but there’s always something with this person and as much as they are generally chatty and nice to converse with when it comes to house things she’s very selfish and well in my eyes feels she’s entitled or something and I for one just can’t wrap my head around her nor do I wanna deal with her on times.

She moved into the house in late August ive been here a year prior. We’ve had issues with her boyfriend staying over 5 times a week frequently, even starting to work in this town and using our home as a place to stay rent and bill free which after about 2/3 months was finally resolved as he has joined the tenancy which is a relief but that was a whole thing. Another thing which she finally has got off my back about is the council tax. I won’t go into too much detail about it because everyone should know how it all works but the basics of it was I was going to be a part time student and work and she was mad about that because she thought she’d pay lots and asked me to be full time student because she thought she would get a discount if I was a student.. but due to my course I found I could only do it full time. Which I told her and thought she’d be happy with but… Then she later found out that that was actually worse for her because she had to pay it on her own if I was full time. None of this was in my control but I had to deal with remarks and her annoyance about it such as “I can’t pay your bit” even though I’d be exempt and even though my choices are my own and if she wants to live in a house and work that’s her choice and her issue.. and she clearly had no idea about how council tax works. She gave me a really hard time and was ranting to me about how she couldn’t afford it and putting it on me even though I went out of my way to help her sort it all out.. Luckily that was resolved only because she finally accepted it and found out she was owed a lot of money from work so could pay it off. Relief. Was a complete nightmare to deal with her at that point.

Other issues have been more general like expecting to use my things and not replacing it etc. So she loves her coffee and uses a lot of milk and we did use to share and take in turns buying it but frequently myself and partner would have to replace it as she would say “I can’t go to shop im working” she would use up most of the milk and so we asked to buy our own milks as we couldn’t keep going to the shop for it daily and we’d never get our money’s worth. Literally daily! She had a little hissy fit about that but she had to get over it. Then it was things like her running out of coffee she asked to use some of mine which I said sure (at that moment) she made two coffees for her and 2 for her partner and then continued using it for a week 4 cups a day.. so I put it away in my cupboard as half of it was gone. She messaged me asking where it was so I told her she needed to buy her own and she had attitude like “oh so the coffee is an issue now too” even though it’s mine and I’ve never used her coffee. Told me whatever etc but I was civil towards her and said sorry just it’s mine, you used a lot.. She finally accepted it and got her own. Same thing with sauces she would take a whole bottle of ketchup that we had just bought and use the whole thing in one sitting so I had to start hiding my ketchup too after buying 1 every week for a month due to her excessively using.

The other things are stuff like toothbrushes of mine and other housemates being knocked on the floor as a few of us have electric stand up ones. She wouldn’t even pick them up just ignorance and having her and her bf’s brushes in our holder touching my partners brush which he found unhygienic, the holder would be full of water daily due to how messy she was too. Found another holder which was hers in the spare room and seperated them and now put mine in holder so it doesn’t end up on the floor. Luckily didn’t have to approach her about that one and she didn’t ask about it.

The latest thing she’s doing is using our cutlery even though she has plenty of her own.. I’m then having food and not being able to find any of our cutlery. Ok I could use hers but I don’t need to or want too and I just can’t understand why she needs to use our things when she has hers. I’ve never lived with someone so difficult or selfish. It’s unhygienic imo too.

She’s a nice enough girl when you talk to her and I’ve had great chats with her many times but it’s only on her terms. Sometimes she’ll completely ignore you when you’ve said hello in the kitchen and then you just awkwardly make food in silence.. until she fancies hitting up a convo. Just don’t understand people like her nor do I want to keep having to confront her about stupid things like this because she just gets an attitude with you for not wanting to have to share your things with her. It’s not like she ever gives back. She’s also used countless of washing pods of mine and never replaced and they are bloody expensive!

Really she’s just saved herself a lot of money and effort. Which is extremely rude and sly. She also never cleans unless you literally keep asking her to. There’s a rota set up so people know what they’re doing every week we share it out equally but unless we remind her she doesn’t do it. She’ll miss weeks of doing it because she “can’t” as she has work. Even though she works 6pm til late sometimes and has the whole day to do 1 chore. One chore once a week is all is asked of her.

Another housemate the other day asked her when she would hoover as he was on mopping and she said she couldn’t do it at 12pm they spoke and she went to work at 6pm and was in her room all day before so she could’ve easily done it. So he hoovered instead and the mopping didn’t get done. I’m always doing things for her too like she washes her clothes and leaves them in the washing machine and so when I need to use the machine I have to put her things in drier and occasionally I don’t mind but I think she expects me to do it now because she’s done it several times.

Idk what my point is with this post completely it’s just a rant but god, I really don’t understand people like her who take advantage and take take take.

Anyone else have some housemate nightmares? Maybe they’re worse than mine and would make me feel a little less bothered about it all. I mean it could be worse Ik but I shouldn’t have to deal with this stuff either
If you want to take my opinion, from reading all of that, she clearly has no respect for your belongings or privacy. To be honest, I wouldn’t want to continue living with her as a housemate as I feel like you were better of without her as you mentioned that you lived there for a year prior to her moving in. It’s ok to rant it’s good for you, at least you got that out. Maybe when you are both free, sit her down and have a one to one conversation of EVERYTHING you are not happy about and make a rule list of compromises you both could do. If no one follows the agreement plan they either take action by moving out or whatever you choose is a ‘suitable punishment’ if you get what I’m trying to say. If you have already done this then like I said, I would personally just ask to be on my own, tell her to move out since you came here first or move out for yourself if that’s what you’re ok with. Her mannerism is off too so I wouldn’t be able to deal with that. I feel like if you were on your own it would be drastically better for you. If you can’t afford to live on your own then try finding a different roommate that would listen to your rules and find a compromise and agreement with them. Hopefully this helped, honestly don’t know how els to help you. Good luck x
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moonkatt
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#3
Report 1 week ago
#3
who tf uses a whole bottle of ketchup in one go :lolwut:
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Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#4
(Original post by Fxsr)
If you want to take my opinion, from reading all of that, she clearly has no respect for your belongings or privacy. To be honest, I wouldn’t want to continue living with her as a housemate as I feel like you were better of without her as you mentioned that you lived there for a year prior to her moving in. It’s ok to rant it’s good for you, at least you got that out. Maybe when you are both free, sit her down and have a one to one conversation of EVERYTHING you are not happy about and make a rule list of compromises you both could do. If no one follows the agreement plan they either take action by moving out or whatever you choose is a ‘suitable punishment’ if you get what I’m trying to say. If you have already done this then like I said, I would personally just ask to be on my own, tell her to move out since you came here first or move out for yourself if that’s what you’re ok with. Her mannerism is off too so I wouldn’t be able to deal with that. I feel like if you were on your own it would be drastically better for you. If you can’t afford to live on your own then try finding a different roommate that would listen to your rules and find a compromise and agreement with them. Hopefully this helped, honestly don’t know how els to help you. Good luck x
Latest thing is she’s been going in my room when I’m not at home to use my mirror. I mean I would say yes if she asked but the fact she hasn’t when I’m not there annoys me. I have a cat and I have to leave my door open a little for her to be able to roam around but that doesn’t mean my door is open for anyone to walk in. When I was away once I set up a camera to keep an eye on my room and she went in there several times to use my mirror. Again I don’t mind but I hardly know her and all my belongings are in there. If I go away for a long period again I will have to lock my door.

About asking her to move out I don’t think it would go down well. We could replace her probably but her partner has recently come into our tenancy and our landlord would probably be annoyed if I were to ask of this. I don’t want any issues. I’m hoping she will leave the tenancy early because she’s been talking about how she wants to move out with just her boyfriend, so we don’t think she is committed to living here anyway, we feel that she moved in and her plan was to use this place for a short while and have her boyfriend semi live here until they could afford to move out but we managed to get him on the tenancy because we kept bringing it up to her and gave her no choice. This was more of a rant and I’m glad someone can sympathise with me at least I appreciate that. I’ll keep doing me and manage it and hopefully early next year she will be moving out. Our other new tenant is amazing so we need to find another like him. Fingers crossed!
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#5
(Original post by moonkatt)
who tf uses a whole bottle of ketchup in one go :lolwut:
Ikr?! Literally my exact thoughts but I’m not even joking 🙃
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Zarek
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#6
Report 1 week ago
#6
It’s all part of the shared living experience. Sometimes you do come across someone’s intensely annoying and all you can do it try to mitigate it as you have been doing and change arrangements as soon as you possibly can
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Zain_Ahmed
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#7
Report 1 week ago
#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
Housemate situation but it’s been put under relationship for some unknown reason. kinda wanna vent but also I do question why people can be so difficult to live with sometimes and how to deal with it.

There’s been a number of things which luckily have been resolved mostly either by me sorting it out or confrontating my housemate in a respectful way but there’s always something with this person and as much as they are generally chatty and nice to converse with when it comes to house things she’s very selfish and well in my eyes feels she’s entitled or something and I for one just can’t wrap my head around her nor do I wanna deal with her on times.

She moved into the house in late August ive been here a year prior. We’ve had issues with her boyfriend staying over 5 times a week frequently, even starting to work in this town and using our home as a place to stay rent and bill free which after about 2/3 months was finally resolved as he has joined the tenancy which is a relief but that was a whole thing. Another thing which she finally has got off my back about is the council tax. I won’t go into too much detail about it because everyone should know how it all works but the basics of it was I was going to be a part time student and work and she was mad about that because she thought she’d pay lots and asked me to be full time student because she thought she would get a discount if I was a student.. but due to my course I found I could only do it full time. Which I told her and thought she’d be happy with but… Then she later found out that that was actually worse for her because she had to pay it on her own if I was full time. None of this was in my control but I had to deal with remarks and her annoyance about it such as “I can’t pay your bit” even though I’d be exempt and even though my choices are my own and if she wants to live in a house and work that’s her choice and her issue.. and she clearly had no idea about how council tax works. She gave me a really hard time and was ranting to me about how she couldn’t afford it and putting it on me even though I went out of my way to help her sort it all out.. Luckily that was resolved only because she finally accepted it and found out she was owed a lot of money from work so could pay it off. Relief. Was a complete nightmare to deal with her at that point.

Other issues have been more general like expecting to use my things and not replacing it etc. So she loves her coffee and uses a lot of milk and we did use to share and take in turns buying it but frequently myself and partner would have to replace it as she would say “I can’t go to shop im working” she would use up most of the milk and so we asked to buy our own milks as we couldn’t keep going to the shop for it daily and we’d never get our money’s worth. Literally daily! She had a little hissy fit about that but she had to get over it. Then it was things like her running out of coffee she asked to use some of mine which I said sure (at that moment) she made two coffees for her and 2 for her partner and then continued using it for a week 4 cups a day.. so I put it away in my cupboard as half of it was gone. She messaged me asking where it was so I told her she needed to buy her own and she had attitude like “oh so the coffee is an issue now too” even though it’s mine and I’ve never used her coffee. Told me whatever etc but I was civil towards her and said sorry just it’s mine, you used a lot.. She finally accepted it and got her own. Same thing with sauces she would take a whole bottle of ketchup that we had just bought and use the whole thing in one sitting so I had to start hiding my ketchup too after buying 1 every week for a month due to her excessively using.

The other things are stuff like toothbrushes of mine and other housemates being knocked on the floor as a few of us have electric stand up ones. She wouldn’t even pick them up just ignorance and having her and her bf’s brushes in our holder touching my partners brush which he found unhygienic, the holder would be full of water daily due to how messy she was too. Found another holder which was hers in the spare room and seperated them and now put mine in holder so it doesn’t end up on the floor. Luckily didn’t have to approach her about that one and she didn’t ask about it.

The latest thing she’s doing is using our cutlery even though she has plenty of her own.. I’m then having food and not being able to find any of our cutlery. Ok I could use hers but I don’t need to or want too and I just can’t understand why she needs to use our things when she has hers. I’ve never lived with someone so difficult or selfish. It’s unhygienic imo too.

She’s a nice enough girl when you talk to her and I’ve had great chats with her many times but it’s only on her terms. Sometimes she’ll completely ignore you when you’ve said hello in the kitchen and then you just awkwardly make food in silence.. until she fancies hitting up a convo. Just don’t understand people like her nor do I want to keep having to confront her about stupid things like this because she just gets an attitude with you for not wanting to have to share your things with her. It’s not like she ever gives back. She’s also used countless of washing pods of mine and never replaced and they are bloody expensive!

Really she’s just saved herself a lot of money and effort. Which is extremely rude and sly. She also never cleans unless you literally keep asking her to. There’s a rota set up so people know what they’re doing every week we share it out equally but unless we remind her she doesn’t do it. She’ll miss weeks of doing it because she “can’t” as she has work. Even though she works 6pm til late sometimes and has the whole day to do 1 chore. One chore once a week is all is asked of her.

Another housemate the other day asked her when she would hoover as he was on mopping and she said she couldn’t do it at 12pm they spoke and she went to work at 6pm and was in her room all day before so she could’ve easily done it. So he hoovered instead and the mopping didn’t get done. I’m always doing things for her too like she washes her clothes and leaves them in the washing machine and so when I need to use the machine I have to put her things in drier and occasionally I don’t mind but I think she expects me to do it now because she’s done it several times.

Idk what my point is with this post completely it’s just a rant but god, I really don’t understand people like her who take advantage and take take take.

Anyone else have some housemate nightmares? Maybe they’re worse than mine and would make me feel a little less bothered about it all. I mean it could be worse Ik but I shouldn’t have to deal with this stuff either
Sorry but dont have time to read it all. From what I gather she's one of those who always use others to satisfy their needs. My auntie was a Hall manager for 7 years so she's had experience of these sort of things and the only thing that really works is when you leave all the responsibility to her. If she doesnt like cleaning up the dishes, u dont either. Yes it will be a messy house n all but it will end up forcing her to clean up... Doesnt always work but is the most effective way of forcing someone to wake tf up. GL..
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Fxsr
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#8
Report 6 days ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
Latest thing is she’s been going in my room when I’m not at home to use my mirror. I mean I would say yes if she asked but the fact she hasn’t when I’m not there annoys me. I have a cat and I have to leave my door open a little for her to be able to roam around but that doesn’t mean my door is open for anyone to walk in. When I was away once I set up a camera to keep an eye on my room and she went in there several times to use my mirror. Again I don’t mind but I hardly know her and all my belongings are in there. If I go away for a long period again I will have to lock my door.

About asking her to move out I don’t think it would go down well. We could replace her probably but her partner has recently come into our tenancy and our landlord would probably be annoyed if I were to ask of this. I don’t want any issues. I’m hoping she will leave the tenancy early because she’s been talking about how she wants to move out with just her boyfriend, so we don’t think she is committed to living here anyway, we feel that she moved in and her plan was to use this place for a short while and have her boyfriend semi live here until they could afford to move out but we managed to get him on the tenancy because we kept bringing it up to her and gave her no choice. This was more of a rant and I’m glad someone can sympathise with me at least I appreciate that. I’ll keep doing me and manage it and hopefully early next year she will be moving out. Our other new tenant is amazing so we need to find another like him. Fingers crossed!
I’m glad to hear that, and if you still want to rant I’ll be able to read and listen whenever. Ask her if she could purchase her own mirror or look in the bathroom by any chance. But if she’s planning to move out with her boyfriend, just hold tight. Patience is a virtue and it seems that you are doing well. Whoever has you as a roommate is very lucky.
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Anonymous #1
#9
Report Thread starter 6 days ago
#9
(Original post by Fxsr)
I’m glad to hear that, and if you still want to rant I’ll be able to read and listen whenever. Ask her if she could purchase her own mirror or look in the bathroom by any chance. But if she’s planning to move out with her boyfriend, just hold tight. Patience is a virtue and it seems that you are doing well. Whoever has you as a roommate is very lucky.
I try my best to be civil about things or patient. I take into consideration I’m the eldest here too so I probably have different views or expectations of how people should behave living with others. I think I’ve set some boundaries over the months though as I quickly realised she was taking advantage of my kindness. I was the only one to do chores the first month or two she was here too but I’ve always been the same. I like things tidy 😂 she likes to use my mirror as it’s a full body one, the only one in the house. I bought it myself so it’s mine. She did speak about getting one when she moved in but never did and just uses mine as and when.

Things have been ok last week or so and most things got resolved that I spoke of previously so I am a little less frustrated as I was the other day, I just needed to vent about it all.

One thing that happened the other night has really concerned me though that I’ve witnessed but I don’t think it’s appropriate to post publicly. Im pretty concerned going forward but we will see.
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Fxsr
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#10
Report 5 days ago
#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
I try my best to be civil about things or patient. I take into consideration I’m the eldest here too so I probably have different views or expectations of how people should behave living with others. I think I’ve set some boundaries over the months though as I quickly realised she was taking advantage of my kindness. I was the only one to do chores the first month or two she was here too but I’ve always been the same. I like things tidy 😂 she likes to use my mirror as it’s a full body one, the only one in the house. I bought it myself so it’s mine. She did speak about getting one when she moved in but never did and just uses mine as and when.

Things have been ok last week or so and most things got resolved that I spoke of previously so I am a little less frustrated as I was the other day, I just needed to vent about it all.

One thing that happened the other night has really concerned me though that I’ve witnessed but I don’t think it’s appropriate to post publicly. Im pretty concerned going forward but we will see.
I understand as well, i’m very tidy and not really the eldest (middle child) but I feel like I also have responsibilities of being the eldest as well. It’s good that things have calm down and you have seen improvement. If there is something concerning maybe you should talk to someone when you are ready to maybe get their opinion on whatever the situation is. It’s ok if you don’t at the end of the day it’s your decision and I’ll respect that. Remember though, if you do choose to speak about it, this may be public but it’s also anonymous if that makes you feel better. Good luck though, hope things get better for you. I’ll still be here to chat and vent to if you need that.
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