How to get over him?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
#1
My partner of 6 years (we have kids together and lived together for 3 yrs and were engaged for 4 years). We needed some space so I asked him to move out for a little while as things weren’t going well at the time (this was 8 months ago). Was not expecting it to be for a long period we just needed some space. We were still together and still did things as a family and the space made a huge impact and improved things between us so much. He even started talking about us getting married, moving into a house together etc and would sleep over many nights a week.

He switched on me randomly a few months ago and started telling me I’m his ex and that we’re not together etc etc. Long story short, things weren’t great he acted off with me and stopped making effort and then over the past 2 months he improved again and started making a lot more effort. He started telling me I’m his fav girl and sleeping with me again and even keeps mentioning how we are going to get married, buy a house and have another baby in the future.

The problem is I’ve seen he’s talking to one particular girl (he talks to loads) but this girl specifically I had a feeling there was more to it. I see they constantly text, dm etc they could even be meeting and spending time together and I wouldn’t have a clue. When I ask him if he’s seeing her he won’t answer my question and he just tells me that he’s not with me and I should leave him alone.

Today he told me to stop being nice to him because it’s making him feel like ‘sh*t’... clearly meaning he feels guilty for whatever he’s up to. This is pretty much confirmation to me that he is seeing her.

I’ve been so nice to him and he’s just telling me to leave him alone and that we aren’t together. But he keeps sleeping with me again? After sleeping with me I tried to hold his hand and he told me he can’t do that as we are not partners. I felt humiliated. This is someone I built my entire life around and the only man I’ve ever been with. We have a family together and I don’t know how to get over this. I can’t stop thinking about him with that other girl and I just want to cry
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 4 days ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
My partner of 6 years (we have kids together and lived together for 3 yrs and were engaged for 4 years). We needed some space so I asked him to move out for a little while as things weren’t going well at the time (this was 8 months ago). Was not expecting it to be for a long period we just needed some space. We were still together and still did things as a family and the space made a huge impact and improved things between us so much. He even started talking about us getting married, moving into a house together etc and would sleep over many nights a week.

He switched on me randomly a few months ago and started telling me I’m his ex and that we’re not together etc etc. Long story short, things weren’t great he acted off with me and stopped making effort and then over the past 2 months he improved again and started making a lot more effort. He started telling me I’m his fav girl and sleeping with me again and even keeps mentioning how we are going to get married, buy a house and have another baby in the future.

The problem is I’ve seen he’s talking to one particular girl (he talks to loads) but this girl specifically I had a feeling there was more to it. I see they constantly text, dm etc they could even be meeting and spending time together and I wouldn’t have a clue. When I ask him if he’s seeing her he won’t answer my question and he just tells me that he’s not with me and I should leave him alone.

Today he told me to stop being nice to him because it’s making him feel like ‘sh*t’... clearly meaning he feels guilty for whatever he’s up to. This is pretty much confirmation to me that he is seeing her.

I’ve been so nice to him and he’s just telling me to leave him alone and that we aren’t together. But he keeps sleeping with me again? After sleeping with me I tried to hold his hand and he told me he can’t do that as we are not partners. I felt humiliated. This is someone I built my entire life around and the only man I’ve ever been with. We have a family together and I don’t know how to get over this. I can’t stop thinking about him with that other girl and I just want to cry
Damn I’m so sorry to hear.It really hurts to hear you go through all of this by yourself ..what i can say is maybe take your baby with you on move out from him slowly .I know it is extremely hard because after all this year .it’s time for you to heal my love and start a new life ..also if you want to move out from him completely ask him for the last time what he want from his heart..Maybe you both can sit down together and have a chat if that is possible ..at the end it is your life which ever way you moving on works for you go ahead you seriously need to heal from all of this pain.Also remember moving on won’t be easy there will so many days where you won’t be feeling motivated,won’t feel like doing anything ..you have to heal from all this for your children and yourself…(apologies for my bad advice I’m not great at giving advice but i hope everything get easier in future might not be this month or in year but hope you feel better soon)
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Anonymous #3
#3
Report 4 days ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
My partner of 6 years (we have kids together and lived together for 3 yrs and were engaged for 4 years). We needed some space so I asked him to move out for a little while as things weren’t going well at the time (this was 8 months ago). Was not expecting it to be for a long period we just needed some space. We were still together and still did things as a family and the space made a huge impact and improved things between us so much. He even started talking about us getting married, moving into a house together etc and would sleep over many nights a week.

He switched on me randomly a few months ago and started telling me I’m his ex and that we’re not together etc etc. Long story short, things weren’t great he acted off with me and stopped making effort and then over the past 2 months he improved again and started making a lot more effort. He started telling me I’m his fav girl and sleeping with me again and even keeps mentioning how we are going to get married, buy a house and have another baby in the future.

The problem is I’ve seen he’s talking to one particular girl (he talks to loads) but this girl specifically I had a feeling there was more to it. I see they constantly text, dm etc they could even be meeting and spending time together and I wouldn’t have a clue. When I ask him if he’s seeing her he won’t answer my question and he just tells me that he’s not with me and I should leave him alone.

Today he told me to stop being nice to him because it’s making him feel like ‘sh*t’... clearly meaning he feels guilty for whatever he’s up to. This is pretty much confirmation to me that he is seeing her.

I’ve been so nice to him and he’s just telling me to leave him alone and that we aren’t together. But he keeps sleeping with me again? After sleeping with me I tried to hold his hand and he told me he can’t do that as we are not partners. I felt humiliated. This is someone I built my entire life around and the only man I’ve ever been with. We have a family together and I don’t know how to get over this. I can’t stop thinking about him with that other girl and I just want to cry
What's his name?
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Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
Damn I’m so sorry to hear.It really hurts to hear you go through all of this by yourself ..what i can say is maybe take your baby with you on move out from him slowly .I know it is extremely hard because after all this year .it’s time for you to heal my love and start a new life ..also if you want to move out from him completely ask him for the last time what he want from his heart..Maybe you both can sit down together and have a chat if that is possible ..at the end it is your life which ever way you moving on works for you go ahead you seriously need to heal from all of this pain.Also remember moving on won’t be easy there will so many days where you won’t be feeling motivated,won’t feel like doing anything ..you have to heal from all this for your children and yourself…(apologies for my bad advice I’m not great at giving advice but i hope everything get easier in future might not be this month or in year but hope you feel better soon)
Thank you for the advice.
I have asked him for the last time what he wants and the answer I get is that he’s done with me and we aren’t together. He’ll tell me to mind my business and leave him alone but will then come to me and hug me, tell me I’m his soulmate and sleep with me etc
I know he thinks he can just use this time to do as he wants and can come back to me in the future and ‘settle down’... but that’s embarrassing to me if I allow that
He keeps mentioning how we are going to have another baby in the future. A few nights ago I asked him if he’s seeing this girl and he wouldn’t answer me but told me in the future we will get married, buy a house and have another baby. He also said how we are going to travel the world as a family etc

He has plans for OUR future as a family but at this moment in time he doesn’t want to be with me.

The hardest part for me is I don’t want to let go. I want that future of us being a family. I don’t want to move on. If he had no intention of being with me again then I’d just move on with my life but I know he wants us to be together in the future which is why I’m hanging on to hope. How can I move on and get over someone that is going to come back in the future? I feel so upset I don’t know what to do. The easiest way for me to get over him and help myself is to completely cut contact and not talk or see him. But I can’t do that as we have kids. I see hun multiple times a week when he sees the kids and we have to talk.

I don’t know what to do but I can’t stop thinking about it morning till night. Even at night I’m having bad dreams about it
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
What's his name?
Why? I don’t think I should disclose that online
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