Stupider than my partner

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
I've always had a bit of an inferiority complex, which becomes really exacerbated when I'm ridiculed for making errors I believe, or am led to believe, are extraordinarily simple. For example, if I make a simple biology mistake like saying that areas with a lot of fat have thick skin, and get my horrendous biology mark brought up in response because of how obviously incorrect I am, I feel like an idiot. A common example is if I mispronounce a word and it sounds humourous for whatever reason, I feel like a clown.

When I was still in secondary school and sixth form, I don't think it got to me too much. I think the day progressed so quickly that I didn't have enough time on my hands to reflect on my own perceived stupidity. I would also only be told by friends and acquaintances, which I somehow think made it a lot easier to swallow.

However, when my partner calls me out and makes what she thinks is a harmless joke, I break. I just shut down. I become miserable and devote large chunks of my day to throwing pity parties for myself. It interferes with my everyday life and my relationship. I make my partner upset too because of this, which then ricochets off onto me. It's mind-boggling how something so minor can flip my entire day around and toss out many productive plans.

I should mention that my partner is vastly more intelligent than I am. Her academic record makes that clear. She also has far more common sense than I do, shown in more situations than I can even count. We've been together for over one year and seven months, and we've known each other for over two years, but a day seldom goes by without me feeling I'm out of my depth to some extent at least once. My self-confidence is really messed up at this point.

I think I'm a little bit insane in this regard. How can I just toughen up and move on with life? Maybe I'm not coming to the right place, but it'd be interesting to hear some users' thoughts.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#2
Report 1 week ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
I've always had a bit of an inferiority complex, which becomes really exacerbated when I'm ridiculed for making errors I believe, or am led to believe, are extraordinarily simple. For example, if I make a simple biology mistake like saying that areas with a lot of fat have thick skin, and get my horrendous biology mark brought up in response because of how obviously incorrect I am, I feel like an idiot. A common example is if I mispronounce a word and it sounds humourous for whatever reason, I feel like a clown.

When I was still in secondary school and sixth form, I don't think it got to me too much. I think the day progressed so quickly that I didn't have enough time on my hands to reflect on my own perceived stupidity. I would also only be told by friends and acquaintances, which I somehow think made it a lot easier to swallow.

However, when my partner calls me out and makes what she thinks is a harmless joke, I break. I just shut down. I become miserable and devote large chunks of my day to throwing pity parties for myself. It interferes with my everyday life and my relationship. I make my partner upset too because of this, which then ricochets off onto me. It's mind-boggling how something so minor can flip my entire day around and toss out many productive plans.

I should mention that my partner is vastly more intelligent than I am. Her academic record makes that clear. She also has far more common sense than I do, shown in more situations than I can even count. We've been together for over one year and seven months, and we've known each other for over two years, but a day seldom goes by without me feeling I'm out of my depth to some extent at least once. My self-confidence is really messed up at this point.

I think I'm a little bit insane in this regard. How can I just toughen up and move on with life? Maybe I'm not coming to the right place, but it'd be interesting to hear some users' thoughts.
Well, if your partner to you if someone extremely special and someone who you would describe as a 'good catch' then feel more confident in yourself! You managed to get with her, not any other guy and she loves you for who you are, every part of you - everyone has things about them that they do not like, and sometimes feels called out when it may be specifically about them, however just remember everyone has things that make them stand out too and is a really positive trait for them whether it be disguised or not. I think just think about things that you know you love about yourself, and what others love about you whether it be physical or emotional and those things will always overcome any flaws or things you're not 'happy' about. There is a huge difference between making a joke about something, compared to calling a person out with a harsh tone - if anything she acknowledges that you may sometimes make a mistake but she also knows how to have a laugh with you
0
reply
summerbirdreads
Badges: 20
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#3
Report 1 week ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
I've always had a bit of an inferiority complex, which becomes really exacerbated when I'm ridiculed for making errors I believe, or am led to believe, are extraordinarily simple. For example, if I make a simple biology mistake like saying that areas with a lot of fat have thick skin, and get my horrendous biology mark brought up in response because of how obviously incorrect I am, I feel like an idiot. A common example is if I mispronounce a word and it sounds humourous for whatever reason, I feel like a clown.
I can relate to that.
0
reply
YaliaV123
Badges: 21
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#4
Report 1 week ago
#4
It could be that your partner is very insensitive, but it’s probably more likely that you internalise things too much. Do you take any criticism to mean that you’re not good enough or that you’re worthless? You should work on ways to increase your self-esteem because I don’t think your relationship is the issue here. I could be wrong of course.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#5
(Original post by YaliaV123)
It could be that your partner is very insensitive, but it’s probably more likely that you internalise things too much. Do you take any criticism to mean that you’re not good enough or that you’re worthless? You should work on ways to increase your self-esteem because I don’t think your relationship is the issue here. I could be wrong of course.
My relationship is certainly not the issue. It's more of a problem with myself. I should really work on ways to boost my self-esteem, but it's always been low. I'm not sure how difficult or effective these methods would be, but I guess I should give them a try.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

What do you find most difficult about revising?

Prioritising what to revise (24)
10.04%
Remembering what was covered in lessons (9)
3.77%
Finding the time to revise (15)
6.28%
Finding the motivation (65)
27.2%
Getting distracted (44)
18.41%
Procrastination (79)
33.05%
Having the tools you need (1)
0.42%
Something else (tell us in the thread) (2)
0.84%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed