Love or lust?

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Anonymous #1
#1
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I went on a date with the guy I like. Everything was nice and we connected well. He seemed really nice.and everything was smooth. Just a couple of things. I ve spoken to him once before this date and a through a few texts but the moment I came to see him, he looked like he wanted to hug me but we didn't as this was our first personal connection together.
Throughout our date, he kept watching me a lot. Also, he asked me how long I am here in this country (I'm an overseas student) and this was his first question. I told him I have 2 years and he was fine with it.
He also stressed three times about Christmas and how he wants a break during it , like going to a cottage by the sea. He asked me if I'm around Christmas and it I plan to go home or stay here. I told him I will stay here and he was happy about it.
He also paid for both of our coffee instantly.
When he was leaving, he hugged me tightly and kind of kept holding me/looking at me until I left him out of embrace. It was a side embrace.

What do you think???
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Anonymous #1
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Also how to make things official?
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Zarek
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One step at a time. Suggest a 2nd date
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Anonymous #2
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What's love or lust got to do with anything you just described?

He's obviously not in love with you after one date nor has he done anything that suggests lust. Just sounds like the guy is interested in a relationship and is asking all the right questions. Are you in love or in lust with him?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
What's love or lust got to do with anything you just described?

He's obviously not in love with you after one date nor has he done anything that suggests lust. Just sounds like the guy is interested in a relationship and is asking all the right questions. Are you in love or in lust with him?
Just asking. Do you think he's interested in a relationship?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Zarek)
One step at a time. Suggest a 2nd date
Yes I asked him and he said to let him know
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bendan88
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Yes, he's interested in a relationship. Sounds like he's getting a bit ahead of himself if you hadn't spoken much before that first date. Take your time and go at a pace that suits you.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bendan88)
Yes, he's interested in a relationship. Sounds like he's getting a bit ahead of himself if you hadn't spoken much before that first date. Take your time and go at a pace that suits you.
Ahead of himself means???
He stressed out the break during Christmas three times so I'm assuming he wants us together in a secluded cottage during that time. So if we plan a second date, how to go about it with telling him that I like him or get him to tell me that we can start something ?
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BlueBazooka
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#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ahead of himself means???
He stressed out the break during Christmas three times so I'm assuming he wants us together in a secluded cottage during that time. So if we plan a second date, how to go about it with telling him that I like him or get him to tell me that we can start something ?
I think that kind of thing just happens naturally, really. And I don't think at this stage you should be jumping to any conclusions as to how he wants to spend his Christmas break. Just take things at your own pace and see where they go - ideas will be suggested and if you're both up for them, they'll happen. On the other hand, if you're not comfortable with something, say it then and there, but don't start worrying about what could happen at such an early juncture. Things will sort themselves out if you and this guy do find that you want to be together.
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bendan88
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ahead of himself means???
That he's thinking about things in the future when he's just at the early stages in real life.

Just going on a second date is enough to let him know you're interested, but stuff like smiling and complimenting him on his strengths will help him know you like him. You can also just say directly if you like. You both sound a bit new to this so I'd say just relax and enjoy time together.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bendan88)
That he's thinking about things in the future when he's just at the early stages in real life.

Just going on a second date is enough to let him know you're interested, but stuff like smiling and complimenting him on his strengths will help him know you like him. You can also just say directly if you like. You both sound a bit new to this so I'd say just relax and enjoy time together.
But he clearly seems to want something before Christmas???? Hence the cottage idea????
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super_hannah
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You'll only really know if you date him more. Best thing to do is just to ask him what he wants. You need to lay everything out on the table when you're dating. Honesty is key.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by BlueBazooka)
I think that kind of thing just happens naturally, really. And I don't think at this stage you should be jumping to any conclusions as to how he wants to spend his Christmas break. Just take things at your own pace and see where they go - ideas will be suggested and if you're both up for them, they'll happen. On the other hand, if you're not comfortable with something, say it then and there, but don't start worrying about what could happen at such an early juncture. Things will sort themselves out if you and this guy do find that you want to be together.
About the hug, what do you think?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by super_hannah)
You'll only really know if you date him more. Best thing to do is just to ask him what he wants. You need to lay everything out on the table when you're dating. Honesty is key.
How to ask?????
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Anonymous #1
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Anymore replies???
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bendan88
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(Original post by Anonymous)
But he clearly seems to want something before Christmas???? Hence the cottage idea????
But at this stage you both seem a bit hesitant about anything more than an awkward hug. Why would either of you be thinking about cottages over Christmas at this stage? The next step is surely to get to know each other better. You can do that as fast or as slow as you like, but the more honest and open you are with each other the quicker that will happen.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bendan88)
But at this stage you both seem a bit hesitant about anything more than an awkward hug. Why would either of you be thinking about cottages over Christmas at this stage? The next step is surely to get to know each other better. You can do that as fast or as slow as you like, but the more honest and open you are with each other the quicker that will happen.
It wasn't me it was his idea because he kept saying about my plans for Christmas and when I said that I'm available for Christmas (not going away) he said he wants a week break , like go by the sea and how his friend has a cottage there which is free now so.
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super_hannah
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#18
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(Original post by Anonymous)
How to ask?????
Just tell him how you feel about him and hopefully he will reciprocate, by the sounds of it he might do. But love takes time, you definitely won't be in love with someone after one date.
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