Halal Muslim marriage/couple

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Anonymous #1
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Muslims who married the halal way (ie no meeting alone, no touching, etc)...

How did u meet ur partner? How old were u? After how long of (courting?) did u decide to marry? What things were important in u deciding to marry or not marry someone (for example do u take into account their education/career)

I feel like most Muslims (especially the younger generation) don't go thru a completley halal process to relationships and marriage so since I'm 19 my views are deemed strict among my peers and I have no idea how i wud meet someone as I literally don't speak to anyone of the opposite sex (im not ready for a relationship at the moment tho but maybe between 22-25)

Also when did u realise u were ready to get married? I still feel like I'm 16, just kinda wondering thru life making random decisions about my future
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summerbirdreads
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Muslims who married the halal way (ie no meeting alone, no touching, etc)...

How did u meet ur partner? How old were u? After how long of (courting?) did u decide to marry? What things were important in u deciding to marry or not marry someone (for example do u take into account their education/career)
Courting? not completely halal because it is makrooh to postpone marriage.
Also the halalst thing to do is to put more importance to the person's deen rather than education... deen over dunya.
Last edited by summerbirdreads; 1 month ago
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Magicallight
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Muslims who married the halal way (ie no meeting alone, no touching, etc)...

How did u meet ur partner? How old were u? After how long of (courting?) did u decide to marry? What things were important in u deciding to marry or not marry someone (for example do u take into account their education/career)

I feel like most Muslims (especially the younger generation) don't go thru a completley halal process to relationships and marriage so since I'm 19 my views are deemed strict among my peers and I have no idea how i wud meet someone as I literally don't speak to anyone of the opposite sex (im not ready for a relationship at the moment tho but maybe between 22-25)

Also when did u realise u were ready to get married? I still feel like I'm 16, just kinda wondering thru life making random decisions about my future
Yea that sounds very true! Believing in something strong and being apart of it will do you good!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by summerbirdreads)
Courting? not completely halal because it is makrooh to postpone marriage.
Also the halalst thing to do is to put more importance to the person's deen rather than education... deen over dunya.
I'm not sure if courting is the right word but what I meant by that is getting to know each other (with the presence of ur parents or sonething) which is what I thought courting was? Postponing marriage wud be being "engaged" to me (which I think is ridiculous if u know u want to marry lol)

And I agree with ur second point im just asking for others views since a person's education also seems to be important in whether u want to marry them these days, a lot of families especially Asian ones ask for the whole potential partners family to be educated if they are to get married which is also ridiculous...i guess they wudnt be on the deen side of things tho so I guess that wudnt matter to me
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summerbirdreads
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not sure if courting is the right word but what I meant by that is getting to know each other (with the presence of ur parents or sonething) which is what I thought courting was? Postponing marriage wud be being "engaged" to me (which I think is ridiculous if u know u want to marry lol)

And I agree with ur second point im just asking for others views since a person's education also seems to be important in whether u want to marry them these days, a lot of families especially Asian ones ask for the whole potential partners family to be educated if they are to get married which is also ridiculous...i guess they wudnt be on the deen side of things tho so I guess that wudnt matter to me
Well, people generally don't want a very deeni son-in-law..

There's a limit to that too... you can't get to know a person too well.
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londonmyst
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Very traditionalist friends who went down that route went to specialist introductions agencies and religious matchmakers.
Most of them ended up divorced within 14 months of marriage, all were divorced within 3 years.
Incompatible family traditions, conflicting ambitions with their spouse, interfering in laws/biological relatives and sometimes terrible dishonesty by the specialist matchmaker/agency or a sneaky close relative of one of the couple.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Muslims who married the halal way (ie no meeting alone, no touching, etc)...

How did u meet ur partner? How old were u? After how long of (courting?) did u decide to marry? What things were important in u deciding to marry or not marry someone (for example do u take into account their education/career)

I feel like most Muslims (especially the younger generation) don't go thru a completley halal process to relationships and marriage so since I'm 19 my views are deemed strict among my peers and I have no idea how i wud meet someone as I literally don't speak to anyone of the opposite sex (im not ready for a relationship at the moment tho but maybe between 22-25)

Also when did u realise u were ready to get married? I still feel like I'm 16, just kinda wondering thru life making random decisions about my future
Halal agencies that give your parents no. Or your info to potential candidates. Also, ask your mum and dad when you're ready to look bc they most likely can help.
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Gaddafi
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No meeting alone? At that point you might as well just have an arranged marriage.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Gaddafi)
No meeting alone? At that point you might as well just have an arranged marriage.
Well if you're Muslim then u have to. It's haraam to be with some1 alone that is not your mahram. The 3rd person will be shaitan. There's a hadith on this.
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Gaddafi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well if you're Muslim then u have to. It's haraam to be with some1 alone that is not your mahram. The 3rd person will be shaitan. There's a hadith on this.
Fair point. I'm well aware about that hadith. I spent most of my younger years in a madrassah.

My point was that if you're going to set that as a standard you might as well just get an arranged marriage.
Last edited by Gaddafi; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Gaddafi)
Fair point. I'm well aware about that hadith. I spent most of my younger years in a madrassah.

My point was that if you're going to set that as a standard you might as well just get an arranged marriage.
Nice Allahumabaarik. Yh but obviously there's different degrees of arranged marriage and what it seemed you were insinuating was that marriage with meeting alone was permissible when as u know it's not. All Muslims have to marry via arranged marriage. OP has basically implied they want to do that anyway as they've said no meeting alone (halal way)
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by londonmyst)
Very traditionalist friends who went down that route went to specialist introductions agencies and religious matchmakers.
Most of them ended up divorced within 14 months of marriage, all were divorced within 3 years.
Incompatible family traditions, conflicting ambitions with their spouse, interfering in laws/biological relatives and sometimes terrible dishonesty by the specialist matchmaker/agency or a sneaky close relative of one of the couple.
Oof I guess I have no hope haha, that's the thing with Muslim relationships and relationships in General, u never know someone well enough until ur married and living under the same roof, they all end up having problems towards the end of the first year when true colours and such start to show, same thing happened with my mum and stepdad but they had a kid in the first year so just had to work with it tho I suspect a divorce will come about in the next few years...sad how a lot of divorces can be prevented by just being honest in the beginning

Anyhow, I guess the only way a young person can can get married the halal way is thru parents connections or otherwise taking a less strict approach, quite a few meet their partners at uni...

Thanks for the reality check anyway 😂
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Gaddafi)
No meeting alone? At that point you might as well just have an arranged marriage.
All halal marriages are basically arranged to an extent, tho as the other commenter stated their are different degrees of arranged marriage

For example some completely put their trust into their parents and don't meet their partner until their wedding day lol

Most people will have their friends or parents "arrange" a meeting with a potential partner and u get to know them before deciding to take it more serious, that's still an arranged marriage to an extent - I suspect this is how I will get married if that ever happens

I'm just looking at different ways this can be done through other people's experiences and if it worked for then etc
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