Any a*/a history a level students please read this essay and give feedback

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Velvet cake
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#1
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#1
The ruthless suppression of the 1857 Indian Mutiny was the main reason Indians did not challenge British rule in the years 1857 to c1890.
Plan:
Suppression, Indian munity ,main reason, did not challenge British rule

Par 1 government of india act political/
Para 2 indian munity
Para 3 miltary

The ruthless suppression of the 1857 Indian mutiny was certainly a reason why the Indians did not challenge British rule, however, this reason undermines the importance of foreign policies which contributed to the decline of resistance in the British rule, although other factors such as military policies also help decrease challenges against the British rule. it was the foreign policies that encouraged the reason for the unchallenged between 1857 to 1890. this is because educated Indians wanted to be represented in the law and the expansion of the middle class increased education and therefore status although the British were discriminated against Indians in the civil service, they attempted at showing somewhat of respect

The ruthless suppression of the Indian mutiny was the main reason Indians did not challenge British rule. In 1857, the British used a lot of general massacres to crush rebellion. this is significant because many British soldiers were angry at the action of the sepoys and so in revenge, made some sepoys blown from cannons this showed how the British wanted to indicate their superiority and harshness as this was a technique adopted by the old Mughal and so sepoys would feel even more distressed to know that India was under the British government and not under their old desirable Mughal empire, however in further rebellion the sepoys, raped both British women and girls, therefore, challenging British rule. clearly, the rebellious acts taken by the sepoys increased challenges towards British rule. overall the suppression of the Indian mutiny increased challenges towards the British rule and so was less significant because the indian munity was not widespread

foreign policies was a reason to why the Indians did not challenge British rule. For example,after the east India company dissolved, the British introduced the government of India act in 1858. This is significant because it would act as a tactic to show to Indian natives that legal representative measures were being considered by the British to improve the quality of life for educated bilingual Indians, this was encouraged by employment in the Indian service whereby 21,000 by 1887 were appointed for the political position. however, the Indians in the civil service were racially discriminated against by the British men in India for example, in 1886 Indian entry’s for employment in the Indian civil service was lowered and so nationalists tried to fight for equality for the same opportunities as the British. Therefore the government of India act helped to encourage a somewhat of a legislative government which would decrease challenges towards the British rule. .furthermore, efforts made by the British to expand the middle class helped the Indians to not challenge British rule. for example,the university act was introduced in 1857 which established universities in Bombay, Calcutta and madras. this is significant because Indian natives would be able to seek prestigious jobs and therefore earn more money because by 1890,60000 students graduated in either liberal art or law,in addition, be politically indoctrinated in law and political affairs, however, this would provide a chance for nationalism to grow because the British saw the nationalist as harmless to the British government and in response created the Indian national congress in 1885. overall foreign policies contributed to the Indians not challenging British rule

military policies was a reason for the Indians to not challenge British rule this is because of the reorganisation of the military. For example, The British rearranged the military troops from disbanding Hindus and Muslims which made up 90% of the army and reforming the military of both brahmins and Sikhs after 1857. this is significant because it weakened the Indians from challenging British rule because some of the bullet cartridges which were covered in animal fat, cows were seen by Hindus to be sacred and pigs by Muslims to be dirty and unclean and so, and so preventing reorganising the military troops prevented further rebellions. clearly, the reorganisation of military troops added as a barrier for the British to prevent more challenges against the government and so, therefore, a reason why the Indians did not challenge British rule, however, this was less significant as 62 out of 72 Bengali regiments were disbanded and so led to an increase in unemployment.

Overall, the ruthless suppression of the Indian mutiny was the main reason why the Indians did not challenge British rule. Britain tried to prioritise the security of British rule by introducing even more political policies pleased native people. although less significant the 1857 Indian mutiny and military policies did contribute to the reasons why the Indians did not challenge British rule in 1857-1890.therefore, it was the foreign policies which was the most achievable event that decreased challenge against the British rule
Last edited by Velvet cake; 1 month ago
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ageshallnot
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#2
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(Original post by Velvet cake)
The ruthless suppression of the 1857 Indian Mutiny was the main reason Indians did not challenge British rule in the years 1857 to c1890.
Plan:
Suppression, Indian munity ,main reason, did not challenge British rule

Par 1 government of india act political/
Para 2 indian munity
Para 3 miltary

The rutheless suppression of the 1857 indian munity was a certainly the main reason why the Indians did not challenge British rule,howeverthis reason undermines the importance of foreign and military policies which contributed to the decline of resistance in the British rule, although it was the 1857 indian munty which encouragedthe reason for the unchallenges between 1857 to 1890.thi is because the inidna munity was driven by cultural insensitivity and the bullet cartidges and once handled decreased challenges

The ruthless suppression of the of the Indian munity was the main reason inidnas did not challenge British rule. During 1857,Indian sepoys murdered British women and children.
The suppression of foreign policies was a reason to why the Indians did not challenge British rule.the British introduced the government of India act in 1858. This would act as a tactic to show to Indian natives that legal representative measures were being considered by the British to improve the quality of life for educated bilingual Indians, this was encouraged by employment in the Indian service whereby 21,000 by 1887 were appointed for the political position.however, the Indians in the civil service were racially discriminated against by the brith men in india for example,in 1886 indian entry’s for employment in the Indian civil service was lowered and so nationalists fought for equality for the same oppurtuinties as the British. Therefore the government of India act helped to encourage a somewhat of a legislative government which would decrease challenge towards the British rule.furthermore,effoerts made by the British to expand the middle class helped the Indians to not challenge British rule.the univerty act was introduced in 1857 which establishe universities in Bombay,Calcutta and madras.this is significant because Indian natives would eb able to seek prestigious jobs and therefore earn more money because by 1890,60000 students graduated in either liberal art or law,in addition be poltically indoctrinated in law and political affaris,however this would provide a chance for nationalism to grow the bitsh saw the nationalist as harmless to the British government and in response created the Indian national congress in 1885.therofore the expansion fot he middle class contributed to the Indians not challgneging British rule

The suppression of the military polices was a reason for the inidians to not chellge British rule this is because of the reorganisation of the military.the British rearranged the military troops from disbanding hindus and muslimswhich made up 90% of the army , and reforming the military of both brahimns and ssikhs after 1857.this weakened the Indians from challgeneg British rule because the majority of the previous troops were formed of hidus and muslims who felt nsulted by some of the bullet cartridges which were covered in animal fat as cows were seen by hindus to be sacred and pigs by muslims to be dirty and unclean and so therefore the British demonstrated cultural insensitivity towards these 2 religons however due to due to cultural insensitivity many Indian natives felt in the position to encourage a rebellion because British polices was interfering with Indian culture.clarly, the reorganisation of multary troops aed as barrier for the British to prevent more challenges against the government and so therefore a reason to why the Indians did not challenge British rule, however this was less significant as 62 out of 72 bengali regiments were disbanded and so led to a increase in unemployment.

Overall, the ruthless suppression fo the Indian munity was the main reason to why the Indians did not challenge British rule.alhtough less significant the military and political polcies did contribute to the reasons why the Indians did not challenge British rule in 1857-1890.therefore,it was the Indian munity which was the most achievable event that decreased challgne against the British rule
I suggest that you start by establishing whether the suppression of the mutiny was indeed ruthless. If it wasn't, then that argument falls by default and you can move on to other reasons.

Overall, you don't appear to have followed your loose plan and your structure is sometimes erratic. For example, the second paragraph starts with a statement about ruthless suppression of the mutiny, then has a sentence about atrocities committed by the mutineers, before going on to talk about "foreign policies" and British attempts at reform through the Government of India act.

A lot of what you write is unclear. For example, what do you mean by "The suppression of foreign policies" and "The suppression of the military policies"?

I know that you don't get marked down a lot for spelling and grammar, but your sentences are often rambling. This makes it difficult for the marker to understand your argument. Have a look at the first paragraph, particularly the first sentence.

On content, it's not a subject I know a great deal about but a mention of the East India Company would help show the importance of the Act mentioned above. And I think there could well be a whole section missing on economic and social factors.

EDIT: You might also want to consider how widespread the mutiny/rebellion was when evaluating the lack of a challenge to British rule in the period.
Last edited by ageshallnot; 1 month ago
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Velvet cake
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#3
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#3
hi thanks for commentig ive tried to change a couple of things in my essay

would you mind taking a look and seeing what I'm lacking

hoentlsy I my last essay was too short as people have mentioned,all I wanted to do was to try and add make it longer
and but now I'm rambling so if you have any tips on trying to improve with writing a decent essay it would be great

i was just trying to be as analytical as possible meaning i would assert something and try to add some evidence as possible

this is all in the skae of practice i didn't do this essay in time condition and i used what information i could acquire to create this essay

i really appreciate your negative feedback because you've hopefully helped me improve but it would be nice to see what I've done well as well so i could continue to do so in further essays

thanks
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ageshallnot
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#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
(Original post by Velvet cake)
hi thanks for commentig ive tried to change a couple of things in my essay

would you mind taking a look and seeing what I'm lacking

hoentlsy I my last essay was too short as people have mentioned,all I wanted to do was to try and add make it longer
and but now I'm rambling so if you have any tips on trying to improve with writing a decent essay it would be great

i was just trying to be as analytical as possible meaning i would assert something and try to add some evidence as possible

this is all in the skae of practice i didn't do this essay in time condition and i used what information i could acquire to create this essay

i really appreciate your negative feedback because you've hopefully helped me improve but it would be nice to see what I've done well as well so i could continue to do so in further essays

thanks
Ok I'll take a look though I might not get back to you today. It might be best to respond via PM? Btw be wary of publishing full essays online lest you get accused of plagiarism.

What marks are you getting so far?
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Velvet cake
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#5
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#5
ive been getting consistent c's, ive only don't 3 essays since I started year 12 and Ive definitely progressed,because in my last essay i was 1 mark off a b
i got a d for my first essay then a very low c then a high c
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