its time to get on self improvement. this is how I exactly felt like you, but once I got into habits to improve myself, my mindset completely changed. watch hamza ahmed or ICEcold JT on youtube (links at the end), to get started on self improvement.
First, you must start a habit tracker with these habits: (DON'T DO IT DIGITALLY, PUT IT ON PAPER ON YOUR WALL)
1. cold showers
2. exercise
3. meditation
4. gratitude journalling
5. meditation
don't worry if you cant complete it. you get way more value out of a habit tracker if u don't complete ur habits. don't tick if you don't do a habit – stay true to urself.
when ur starting off, just doing a TINY bit of the habit, i.e. meditating for LITERALLY 1 second or LITERALLY doing 1 push up
why do I say this? it is all about PROGRESSIVE OVERLOAD
so for e.g. today u did 1 second of meditation or 1 word in ur journal. tomorrow, do 2 seconds or 2 words, then do 3 and so on...
BUILD THE HABITS BY DOING THE BARE MINIMUM AND TICK IT OFF THE HABIT TRACKER
its all about starting slow, to build the good habits that will eventually be the foundation for ur life.
in terms of friends and socials. this is what I experienced. once I got on self improvement, I didn't have any friends, except for one, who is in a different school and we don't talk much. it used to get to me, the loneliness so I thought people were the answer.
i was so wrong. i recently realised that I AM NOT ALONE OR LONELY. RATHER I AM IN SOLITUDE! be grateful for this phase and use it to improve urself!
rather, I began to focus on myself, and I promise you, that eventually, you will attract the same type of people as you, as after all, YOU ARE WHO YOU HANGOUT WITH
the next major thing I would highlight is the difference between two types of activities:
1. instant gratification
2. delayed gratification
which one is better? in the longer run, DELAYED GRATIFICATION IS BETTER
what do both of these words mean?
instant gratification is anything that can give you instant pleasure:
1. like masturbating to porn
2. drugs
3. procrastination
4. going to parties to get laid
5. drinking
6. a big one, social media
I'm sure u can think of more...
INSTANT GRATIFICATION IS EASY AND GIVES U PLEASURE INSTANTLY – NOT GOOD FOR LONG TERM
on the other hand, delayed gratification:
1. cold showers
2. working out
3. meditation
4. journalling
5. doing work when u don't feel like it
6. reading
DELAYED GRATIFICATION IS HARD BUT THE RESULTS WILL DEFINITELY COMPOUND OVER TIME – BETTER FOR LONG TERM
at this point in time, DO DELAYED GRATIFICATION ACTIVITIES! yes, we need both in our lives, but the latter is much better in almost any situation!
the grind is actually hard at first. but doing a bit each day and INCREASING HOW MUCH U DO EVERYDAY WILL BUILD IT INTO A HABIT!
once u get on self improvement, think of it in this way – ur doing stuff only a few percent of ppl do for ur future, whilst the majority are doing instant gratification activities
remember – UR ON UR GRIND, SO WORRY ONLY ABOUT YOU
yes, life is hard, but uve got the control to make small changes everyday. REMEMBER, A CHANGE IS STILL A CHANGE NO MATTER HOW SMALL IT MAY BE!
u got this. AND I WOULD HIGHLY RECCOMEND TO WATCH THE YOUTUBE CHANNELS I DESCRIBED AT THE START AS THEY GIVE MUCH BETTER ADVICE – these channels genuinely changed my mindset
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWsslCoN3b_wBaFVWK_ye_A – Hamza
https://www.youtube.com/c/ICEcoldJT – ICEColdJT
hope this helps you and good luck!