Should I give up on a girl?

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Anonymous #1
#1
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So there is a girl who I really really like but I don't think she likes me and I don't know what to do? Do I ask her to hang out with me or tell her that I like her, or just stop trying to talk to her? We go to the same school and are in the same class so I don't want things to be awkward and I would like us to be friends whatever happens so how should I play it? I've tried to forget my feelings for her but I just can't and it's killing me knowing that she doesn't like me. She's the first girl I've ever had feelings for so have literally no experience lol

So thanks for any advice!!
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Funtimes01_
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First, how long have you known her? E.g. have you talked to her long, not spoken before etc.?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Funtimes01_)
First, how long have you known her? E.g. have you talked to her long, not spoken before etc.?
I've know her for about a year and two months (since start of yr12). I started messaging her like 2 months ago and we chat occasionally about school work and I've got to know her a bit better (I only realised I had feelings for her a few months ago), we've said hi to each other in class and had like two conversations but never had any properly long conversations with her in person
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booklover1313
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've know her for about a year and two months (since start of yr12). I started messaging her like 2 months ago and we chat occasionally about school work and I've got to know her a bit better (I only realised I had feelings for her a few months ago), we've said hi to each other in class and had like two conversations but never had any properly long conversations with her in person
In that case, I would ask her out! You have nothing to loose; but she might feel the same! Ask her if she wants to go on a date somewhere, maybe for coffee & cake or a walk?
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Funtimes01_
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've know her for about a year and two months (since start of yr12). I started messaging her like 2 months ago and we chat occasionally about school work and I've got to know her a bit better (I only realised I had feelings for her a few months ago), we've said hi to each other in class and had like two conversations but never had any properly long conversations with her in person
Best thing, ask her out, as one of the users said above. The quicker you lay your cards on the table, the more likely you will get a yes. Also, get to speaking to her in person, that will increase any potential attraction she may have for you. If she says no to you asking her out, it isn't the end of the world. Best thing is that you tried. Don't live with regret
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by booklover1313)
In that case, I would ask her out! You have nothing to loose; but she might feel the same! Ask her if she wants to go on a date somewhere, maybe for coffee & cake or a walk?
Okay! I'm just so shy I guess to ask. And I'm pretty much convinced she doesn't like me actually so I'm not that hopeful.

So would you say ask her on a date or just ask her if she wants to hang out as friends? And if she says know would it be awkward in school, that's why I was thinking about waiting till after a levels then if she says no it doesn't really matter.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Funtimes01_)
Best thing, ask her out, as one of the users said above. The quicker you lay your cards on the table, the more likely you will get a yes. Also, get to speaking to her in person, that will increase any potential attraction she may have for you. If she says no to you asking her out, it isn't the end of the world. Best thing is that you tried. Don't live with regret
Great and thanks for the advice, But honestly it would feel like the end of the world if she says no because I really do like her
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Funtimes01_
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Great and thanks for the advice, But honestly it would feel like the end of the world if she says no because I really do like her
Even if she says no, just pick yourself up and move on. You'll waste too much time on negativity otherwise, and depress yourself. Good luck, let us know how it goes.
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booklover1313
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Okay! I'm just so shy I guess to ask. And I'm pretty much convinced she doesn't like me actually so I'm not that hopeful.

So would you say ask her on a date or just ask her if she wants to hang out as friends? And if she says know would it be awkward in school, that's why I was thinking about waiting till after a levels then if she says no it doesn't really matter.
Yes, I completely understand where you are coming from, and it can be scary to put yourself out there & be vulnerable. Since you are interested in her, I would be clear in inviting her not as a friend. But what’s the worse that’s going to happen? She says ‘that’s very kind thank you, but I’m not interested in you in a romantic way’
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Funtimes01_)
Even if she says no, just pick yourself up and move on. You'll waste too much time on negativity otherwise, and depress yourself. Good luck, let us know how it goes.
Just have to work out a good time to ask her, and what to actually say of course. But I'll definitely let you know how it goes
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by booklover1313)
Yes, I completely understand where you are coming from, and it can be scary to put yourself out there & be vulnerable. Since you are interested in her, I would be clear in inviting her not as a friend. But what’s the worse that’s going to happen? She says ‘that’s very kind thank you, but I’m not interested in you in a romantic way’
Yeah I guess, I'm probably just overthinking it. Thankyou for the great advice!
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booklover1313
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah I guess, I'm probably just overthinking it. Thankyou for the great advice!
I hope it goes well, good luck!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by booklover1313)
I hope it goes well, good luck!
(Original post by Funtimes01_)
Even if she says no, just pick yourself up and move on. You'll waste too much time on negativity otherwise, and depress yourself. Good luck, let us know how it goes.
So I have a few more quaetions.

Recently I've tried to message her but her replies have been fairly short and she hasn't replied to my last message for well over 24hrs now so does that mean she doesn't like me or could she just be busy? Do I ask if she's ok because now I'm worried something might have happened?

And then when I do get round to asking her out what exactly should I say? Where should we go? Should I suggest a time and place or just leave it open?

That's quite a few questions sorry but I'd be so so grateful if you two (or anyone) coiuld help. Thank you again!!!!!
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booklover1313
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I have a few more quaetions.

Recently I've tried to message her but her replies have been fairly short and she hasn't replied to my last message for well over 24hrs now so does that mean she doesn't like me or could she just be busy? Do I ask if she's ok because now I'm worried something might have happened?

And then when I do get round to asking her out what exactly should I say? Where should we go? Should I suggest a time and place or just leave it open?

That's quite a few questions sorry but I'd be so so grateful if you two (or anyone) coiuld help. Thank you again!!!!!
I think you said that you are in year 13, she is probably just busy with work and UCAS/revising for mocks. I wouldn't read too much into it. If I were you, I would have a concrete plan, so e.g. invite her ice skating in 2 weeks time or something like that. Ultimately the only way to know if she is interested in you is to ask, although it is a scary thing to do, it is also necessary. When you ask, try to keep it not pressurised, so be open ended and say at the end something like 'I completely understand if you don't want to, I just wanted to ask'
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Funtimes01_
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I have a few more quaetions.

Recently I've tried to message her but her replies have been fairly short and she hasn't replied to my last message for well over 24hrs now so does that mean she doesn't like me or could she just be busy? Do I ask if she's ok because now I'm worried something might have happened?

And then when I do get round to asking her out what exactly should I say? Where should we go? Should I suggest a time and place or just leave it open?

That's quite a few questions sorry but I'd be so so grateful if you two (or anyone) coiuld help. Thank you again!!!!!
She could be busy? However, this doesn't look like a very good sign to me. Don't message her for now, let it lie. Let her come back to you, you don't want to be messaging yourself basically.
Always ask a girl out in person, text it rarely ever works, especially if you've met this girl in person before. Just say to her, "Hey I feel a good connection between us, not pressuring you, but we should go out sometime. How about we go out for a walk down the beach, or round a park, or out in the countryside (chose one, restaurants rarely ever work well for a first date, that's committed relationship stuff). If you don't want to go out, that's cool, no pressure, I'll leave you be." Then it's up to you if she says yes to take it from there. If she says no, it's up to you whether or not you want to stay friends.
Best thing to do, is not to panic. Stuff does work out.
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