Antivaxer mum

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Anholm
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#1
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#1
We were going to go and see my deteriorating grandmother this Christmas but the government of her country mandated that all arrivals be vacinated. For any normal person this shouldn't be an issue but mum is completely anti vaccine, anti medicine, anti doctor. She has been looking at so many pseudoscientific lectures and is certain that vaccines are not only useless but also dangerous and gives people diseases.
Any time I try and challenge her, she gets incredibly angry and demands that I wake up.
That's £700 of plane tickets in the bin.
I may never see my grandmother again.

Volunteer Note: For advice, guidance and up-to-date information on Coronavirus/COVID-19, please check out the NHS, UK Government, and Mind (mental health) web-pages.
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Anonymous #1
#2
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#2
I'm so sorry, in exactly the same position here. My mum was so pissed when she found out I'd been vaccinated here (I hadn't told her I was getting it). My advice would be to try and get it through other means if you can (other relatives perhaps?). I know you can't argue with them, they think it's going to hurt us and they're so caught up in all their conspiracy nonsense you can't get through. Good luck with it all, it's tough but it's coming from a place of love, however horrifying it is to witness
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londonmyst
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#3
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#3
Is there any way that you can go on your own to visit your grandmother or travel with another relative who meets the vaccination requirements for overseas travel?
It is very unlikely that you will ever be able to persuade your mother to change her mind.
I don't agree with mandatory vaccine passports or facial coverings.
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Trinculo
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#4
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#4
I've been vaccinated twice - but I completely understand where your mum is coming from. Perhaps you could show some understanding rather than following the Branch Covidians dogma. We all have to be absolutely clear that this vaccine we're taking we have not the slightest clue what the long term effects are. Add to that that the entire covid narrative is utterly insane - again whilst I have been vaccinated, I totally understand why so many people refuse, and why they can feel that those that place their blind faith in what government and Twitter is telling them might be misguided and dangerous.

At the moment, the narrative seems to be moving toward vaccination every six months - forever. Who can possibly think that's a good idea?
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londonmyst
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#5
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#5
(Original post by Trinculo)
I've been vaccinated twice - but I completely understand where your mum is coming from. Perhaps you could show some understanding rather than following the Branch Covidians dogma. We all have to be absolutely clear that this vaccine we have not the slightest clue what the long term effects are. Add to that that the entire covid narrative is utterly insane - again whilst I have been vaccinated, I totally understand why so many people refuse, and why they can feel that those that place their blind faith in what government and Twitter is telling them might be misguided and dangerous.

At the moment, the narrative seems to be moving toward vaccination every six months - forever. Who can possibly think that's a good idea?
PRSOM. :rofl:
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hungrysalamander
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#6
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#6
How old are you? Cam you visit her on your own?
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Anholm
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Trinculo)
I've been vaccinated twice - but I completely understand where your mum is coming from. Perhaps you could show some understanding rather than following the Branch Covidians dogma. We all have to be absolutely clear that this vaccine we have not the slightest clue what the long term effects are. Add to that that the entire covid narrative is utterly insane - again whilst I have been vaccinated, I totally understand why so many people refuse, and why they can feel that those that place their blind faith in what government and Twitter is telling them might be misguided and dangerous.

At the moment, the narrative seems to be moving toward vaccination every six months - forever. Who can possibly think that's a good idea?
Of course, I completely understand why people would be hesitant. And don't support vaccine mandates. But the thing is, she would rather waste £700 (we are not a rich family) and not see her ill mother than have one vaccine and get to see her family.
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Trinculo
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Anholm)
Of course, I completely understand why people would be hesitant. And don't support vaccine mandates. But the thing is, she would rather waste £700 (we are not a rich family) and not see her ill mother than have one vaccine and get to see her family.
From her point of view you are asking is her long term health is worth £700.
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Anholm
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#9
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#9
(Original post by londonmyst)
Is there any way that you can go on your own to visit your grandmother or travel with another relative who meets the vaccination requirements for overseas travel?
It is very unlikely that you will ever be able to persuade your mother to change her mind.
I don't agree with mandatory vaccine passports or facial coverings.
I am 17 and the airport is in Bristol, some 200 miles away. Frolicking off to Spain alone for 10 days at Christmas is not a very good idea for several reasons. She doesnt let anyone else in the family get the vaccine so even if I had an irrationaly adventurous hit, border security would get suspicious. I dont support vaccine passports or dragging on the covid thing for much longer but as I mentioned above, one vaccine with incredibly low chance of long term side effects (that we know of so far) vs wasting 4 plane tickets and not seeing family we haven't seen in a long time
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Anholm
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#10
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#10
(Original post by Trinculo)
From her point of view you are asking is her long term health is worth £700.
As far as I am aware, there is very little evidence for long term side effects of the vaccine. Do you think she is making the rational choice?
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Admit-One
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#11
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#11
(Original post by Anholm)
I am 17 and the airport is in Bristol, some 200 miles away. Frolicking off to Spain alone for 10 days at Christmas is not a very good idea for several reasons. She doesnt let anyone else in the family get the vaccine so even if I had an irrationaly adventurous hit, border security would get suspicious. I dont support vaccine passports or dragging on the covid thing for much longer but as I mentioned above, one vaccine with incredibly low chance of long term side effects (that we know of so far) vs wasting 4 plane tickets and not seeing family we haven't seen in a long time
She sounds rather foolish, but I agree with the above that you are unlikely to change her mind at this stage.

I'd probably let appeal to her to let you go by yourself or with another family member and then just get vaccinated on the sly if she agrees to the trip. Let her know that you're upset that it may be your last chance to see your grandmother.
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londonmyst
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#12
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#12
(Original post by Anholm)
I am 17 and the airport is in Bristol, some 200 miles away. Frolicking off to Spain alone for 10 days at Christmas is not a very good idea for several reasons. She doesnt let anyone else in the family get the vaccine so even if I had an irrationaly adventurous hit, border security would get suspicious. I dont support vaccine passports or dragging on the covid thing for much longer but as I mentioned above, one vaccine with incredibly low chance of long term side effects (that we know of so far) vs wasting 4 plane tickets and not seeing family we haven't seen in a long time
It is legal for a 17 year old to both get vaccinated and travel abroad without parental consent.
Although you probably should contact the airline or travel operator to find out their policies on whether they allow 17 years olds to travel abroad.

Have you quietly asked if anyone in your family who is over 16 wants to have a covid vaccine or travel to visit your grandmother with you?
When your mother is not at home and there is no risk of her overhearing.
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black tea
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Trinculo)
At the moment, the narrative seems to be moving toward vaccination every six months - forever. Who can possibly think that's a good idea?
Annual flu vaccines for vulnerable groups are a thing - I don't see why people view covid boosters as any different.
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Trinculo
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Anholm)
As far as I am aware, there is very little evidence for long term side effects of the vaccine. Do you think she is making the rational choice?
How can there be any evidence of long term effects when the vaccine has only been around for a year?

I don't think this is a situation where one choice is any more rational than another, because the information is so incomplete. You either choose to put something unknown into your body against your will, or you assume the risk of not doing so. We're supposed to be free-willed adults in a liberal democracy. This choice should always be our own, and not under force, coercion or by gradually making life more and more difficult for people who choose otherwise.

Is your grandparent vaccinated?
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Admit-One
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#15
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#15
(Original post by londonmyst)
It is legal for a 17 year old to both get vaccinated and travel abroad without parental consent.
Although you probably should contact the airline or travel operator to find out their policies on whether they allow 17 years olds to travel abroad.

Have you quietly asked if anyone in your family who is over 16 wants to have a covid vaccine or travel to visit your grandmother with you?
When your mother is not at home and there is no risk of her overhearing.
I just wanted to comment on how thoughtful and empathetic this reply was. I appreciate that you make no secret of your misgivings regarding COVID measures, but that you posted this nonetheless was striking.
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Anholm
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#16
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#16
(Original post by londonmyst)
It is legal for a 17 year old to both get vaccinated and travel abroad without parental consent.
Although you probably should contact the airline or travel operator to find out their policies on whether they allow 17 years olds to travel abroad.

Have you quietly asked if anyone in your family who is over 16 wants to have a covid vaccine or travel to visit your grandmother with you?
When your mother is not at home and there is no risk of her overhearing.
The only living family left where I live are in our house, it's an unfortunate rule that either all go or not at all. Anyway, I'd feel slightly dishonest going to Spain alone or without her over Christmas. It's a shame that he holds such strong beliefs
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Anholm
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#17
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#17
(Original post by Admit-One)
I just wanted to comment on how thoughtful and empathetic this reply was. I appreciate that you make no secret of your misgivings regarding COVID measures, but that you posted this nonetheless was striking.
Yes, I appreciate every reply
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Anholm
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Trinculo)
How can there be any evidence of long term effects when the vaccine has only been around for a year?

I don't think this is a situation where one choice is any more rational than another, because the information is so incomplete. You either choose to put something unknown into your body against your will, or you assume the risk of not doing so. We're supposed to be free-willed adults in a liberal democracy. This choice should always be our own, and not under force, coercion or by gradually making life more and more difficult for people who choose otherwise.

Is your grandparent vaccinated?
Yes, I agree. Other than the people of our household, the rest of the family are vaccinated.
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My Gui.
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#19
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#19
(Original post by Anholm)
We were going to go and see my deteriorating grandmother this Christmas but the government of her country mandated that all arrivals be vacinated. For any normal person this shouldn't be an issue but mum is completely anti vaccine, anti medicine, anti doctor. She has been looking at so many pseudoscientific lectures and is certain that vaccines are not only useless but also dangerous and gives people diseases.
Any time I try and challenge her, she gets incredibly angry and demands that I wake up.
That's £700 of plane tickets in the bin.
I may never see my grandmother again.

Volunteer Note: For advice, guidance and up-to-date information on Coronavirus/COVID-19, please check out the NHS, UK Government, and Mind (mental health) web-pages.
Go on your own to see your, it's up to her at the end of the day if she doesn't want the vaccine and up to you if you want it
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BoogieBump
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#20
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#20
(Original post by Anholm)
We were going to go and see my deteriorating grandmother this Christmas but the government of her country mandated that all arrivals be vacinated. For any normal person this shouldn't be an issue but mum is completely anti vaccine, anti medicine, anti doctor. She has been looking at so many pseudoscientific lectures and is certain that vaccines are not only useless but also dangerous and gives people diseases.
Any time I try and challenge her, she gets incredibly angry and demands that I wake up.
That's £700 of plane tickets in the bin.
I may never see my grandmother again.

Volunteer Note: For advice, guidance and up-to-date information on Coronavirus/COVID-19, please check out the NHS, UK Government, and Mind (mental health) web-pages.
If you want to visit your grandma just go.
Transfer the tickets to someone else who can go with you.

Let your mother make her own decisions. There has been growing evidence on issues with some of the clinical trials for some of these vaccines (Pfizer). So, to have it as mandatory is an overstretch.

Well, you do you.
Last edited by Yvaa; 1 month ago
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