I'm lonely

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waywardberkian
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#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I recently became really close friends with one of my male housemates. Im a 1st year female and he's 2nd year male. Our whole kitchen was speculating that we were dating but we were genuinely just really good friends. He's the best and only proper friend I've made at uni.
Another housemate is a 2nd year girl who clearly didn't like this as she was friendly with him too but cut him off (idk what happened). Since we've gotten close she's forced herself back into his life and is with him constantly and blatantly does not like me or the thought of me being near him.
We were genuinely just friends but I feel like I can't even talk to him not and I'm terrified to even go to the kitchen because I know I'll just feel judged and panic. I just want my friend back, I feel so alone.
I don't know what to do.
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Auntie_Autie2019
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#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
Hi I'm sorry you're experiencing this behaviour from the other student. I'm guessing she's feeling threatened about your friendship with this guy but that is not your fault. Do you have any idea what he thinks of it all? Maybe you could be super friendly with this other girl and make it super obvious you just want to be friends with your housemates? Ask her opinion on dating apps or something even if you don't have any intention of using them. Just a thought.

Unfortunately I'm having my own nightmare at uni as a couple of other students are going out of their way to be very unpleasant towards me and now I have no idea what to do because I am spiralling downhill mentally as a result. I've actually emailed staff to say that I feel I might have to leave.
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waywardberkian
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#3
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#3
(Original post by Auntie_Autie2019)
Hi I'm sorry you're experiencing this behaviour from the other student. I'm guessing she's feeling threatened about your friendship with this guy but that is not your fault. Do you have any idea what he thinks of it all? Maybe you could be super friendly with this other girl and make it super obvious you just want to be friends with your housemates? Ask her opinion on dating apps or something even if you don't have any intention of using them. Just a thought.

Unfortunately I'm having my own nightmare at uni as a couple of other students are going out of their way to be very unpleasant towards me and now I have no idea what to do because I am spiralling downhill mentally as a result. I've actually emailed staff to say that I feel I might have to leave.
Thank you for your advice, I think I'm confident enough to speak to her now so maybe I'll try let her know there was nothing going on.
I'm really sorry that's happening to you, you should never have to feel that way to the point you want to leave. ( I really hope things get better for you soon, wish I could help more!! )
I'm here if u ever need to talk!!
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Gavin2016
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#4
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#4
(Original post by waywardberkian)
Thank you for your advice, I think I'm confident enough to speak to her now so maybe I'll try let her know there was nothing going on.
I'm really sorry that's happening to you, you should never have to feel that way to the point you want to leave. ( I really hope things get better for you soon, wish I could help more!! )
I'm here if u ever need to talk!!
You could talk to her but I am doubtful if it will help. If she is into this guy and wants to get into a relationship then my guess is that she may not want to take the chance that you are interested in being a friend. Girls and possibly guys can say they are friends then it can turn out otherwise. If she had serious intentions on this guy then may see it as safest to cut you out if she can. You could try above as suggested even if possible try and befriend the girl over time as who knows possibly it might turn out she just wants him as a friend too, either way talking to her could give you the opportunity to weigh her up.

End of the day a relationship tends to trump friendship so possibly at some point you may want to consider if you want to be with him assuming he does too of course.
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Surnia
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#5
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#5
If he's your friend, behave like that and talk to him! Why would he judge you? You're making things worse by ignoring him as he will think you've rejected him.
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waywardberkian
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#6
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#6
(Original post by Surnia)
If he's your friend, behave like that and talk to him! Why would he judge you? You're making things worse by ignoring him as he will think you've rejected him.
I try but he's being really vague now, he's stopped starting conversations and is very obviously avoiding me. I think I'll just call it a day and accept it's kinda over now
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username5585736
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#7
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#7
that’s really uncool on the other girl’s part. hopefully you’ll meet others or someone you already know will be more friendly
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Surnia
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#8
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#8
(Original post by waywardberkian)
I try but he's being really vague now, he's stopped starting conversations and is very obviously avoiding me. I think I'll just call it a day and accept it's kinda over now
"He's being stopped starting conversations and avoiding me," says you who is doing exactly the same to him. He's responding in kind! Make 2 coffees, take them to his room, sit down with him and talk things over! At least you'll know what the situation is and whether you can reestablish the friendship or need to move on.
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