Poly relationship

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Bbunnie2112
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#1
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#1
So I am in a poly relationship and I have two boyfriends a cisgender male(g) and a FTM male me(j). Me and j’s relationship is very meaningful we talk about everything with each other. But me a g have a different relationship we don’t really talk about anything, and when I try to talk to him about how I feel he laughs it off and makes a sexual joke. He is also very controlling he doesn’t really want me around anyone and he also gets made at me for everything. And I’m not sure what to do I’ve thought of breaking up with g but I don’t want to lose j. I could really use some advice.
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squirrelmonkey12
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(Original post by Bbunnie2112)
So I am in a poly relationship and I have two boyfriends a cisgender male(g) and a FTM male me(j). Me and j’s relationship is very meaningful we talk about everything with each other. But me a g have a different relationship we don’t really talk about anything, and when I try to talk to him about how I feel he laughs it off and makes a sexual joke. He is also very controlling he doesn’t really want me around anyone and he also gets made at me for everything. And I’m not sure what to do I’ve thought of breaking up with g but I don’t want to lose j. I could really use some advice.
Communication is really important for any relationship. Maybe talk to g and f (separately or together, whatever's easier when discussing something like this) and tell them how you feel? It could be that they feel the same way? And if they don't, g might have a reason why they don't like talking about something sensitive and by talking, you'll all be able to understand why?
If I can ask, how long have you all been together? Is g laughing things a fairy new/old thing?
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Bbunnie2112
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#3
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(Original post by squirrelmonkey12)
Communication is really important for any relationship. Maybe talk to g and f (separately or together, whatever's easier when discussing something like this) and tell them how you feel? It could be that they feel the same way? And if they don't, g might have a reason why they don't like talking about something sensitive and by talking, you'll all be able to understand why?
If I can ask, how long have you all been together? Is g laughing things a fairy new/old thing?
We have been together for three months but j and g have been together four months. I was brought into the relationship a little later. And g just kinda laughs of anything wether it be a new or old problem and most old problems never got talked about because I’ll try and talk about it and g gets mad and storms of then the conversation is never brought back up.
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summerbirdreads
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Err... what? Does the boyfriends know about each other? and are they dating as well? why do you want two?
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Bbunnie2112
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(Original post by summerbirdreads)
Err... what? Does the boyfriends know about each other? and are they dating as well? why do you want two?
Yes they know each other yes they are dating as well and it’s not a matter of wanting both I’m just with both
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summerbirdreads
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(Original post by Bbunnie2112)
Yes they know each other yes they are dating as well and it’s not a matter of wanting both I’m just with both
Why do you want to be with both of them? can't you just break up with the possessive one?
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Bbunnie2112
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(Original post by summerbirdreads)
Why do you want to be with both of them? can't you just break up with the possessive one?
It’s not a matter of wanting both of them. And yes in theory I could brake up with him but I don’t know if that’s what’s best
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squirrelmonkey12
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#8
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(Original post by Bbunnie2112)
We have been together for three months but j and g have been together four months. I was brought into the relationship a little later. And g just kinda laughs of anything wether it be a new or old problem and most old problems never got talked about because I’ll try and talk about it and g gets mad and storms of then the conversation is never brought back up.
Ah yeah, there's always problems in the first few months of a relationship when you're working out each other's boundaries and finding out more about each other :-) Sounds like communicating is difficult though with g storming off...maybe talk to j about it and see what they think? Are you usually quite open with each other?
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Bbunnie2112
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#9
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(Original post by squirrelmonkey12)
Ah yeah, there's always problems in the first few months of a relationship when you're working out each other's boundaries and finding out more about each other :-) Sounds like communicating is difficult though with g storming off...maybe talk to j about it and see what they think? Are you usually quite open with each other?
We try to be open about everything
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Ciel.
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#10
(Original post by Bbunnie2112)
So I am in a poly relationship and I have two boyfriends a cisgender male(g) and a FTM male me(j). Me and j’s relationship is very meaningful we talk about everything with each other. But me a g have a different relationship we don’t really talk about anything, and when I try to talk to him about how I feel he laughs it off and makes a sexual joke. He is also very controlling he doesn’t really want me around anyone and he also gets made at me for everything. And I’m not sure what to do I’ve thought of breaking up with g but I don’t want to lose j. I could really use some advice.
i don't get it, why would you lose j if you only break up with g?
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squirrelmonkey12
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#11
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#11
(Original post by Bbunnie2112)
We try to be open about everything
Ok! Try talking to j about how you feel? Or maybe go talk to g and try to approach them about it and maybe ask if there's a reason why they don't want to talk? :-)
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Bbunnie2112
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#12
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#12
(Original post by squirrelmonkey12)
Ok! Try talking to j about how you feel? Or maybe go talk to g and try to approach them about it and maybe ask if there's a reason why they don't want to talk? :-)
I really do appreciate the help thank you I’ll try and see what happens
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