Cannot get over unrequited love

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Student Room users,

I am looking for your advise on how to get over having unrequited love for a best friend. Posting anonymously because this is very embarrassing but I need the help. Sorry this is a long one.

I fell in love with my best friend during the middle years of high school and wanted to let them know in-person before the end of school. I told them I had a secret to tell them and got close to telling them a few times but could never quite come out with it because I was too worried someone would overhear with there not being any quiet areas. We did not meet outside of school either as everyday we would be together throughout the full school day already.

Regrettably I told them online when the 1st lockdown cut the year short. They said they did not feel the same way. I asked if we could still be friends and they said yes but at the time I thought it would never be comfortable so I went offgrid.

After sometime I could not take it anymore, I do not have anyone at all to talk to and I miss them horribly. I did not realise how badly until I was not seeing them anymore everyday. I would now be quite happy for us to just be good friends and be someone they could rely on.

Over the past two years I have tried to talk to them online and just tried to be friends but they have always been really difficult to talk to online because they have always had their notifications and game chats disabled completely and usually do not login to their various accounts. But since telling them and having left a long time before talking to them again it has been almost impossible and we have only had 1 or 2 full conversations (through game chats), generally catching up. Sometimes as mentioned they are willing to talk for awhile at a time but they are so on-off about it and kept blocking me throughout. About 3 months ago they had gotten annoyed with me adding them to try talk over and over again, and told me to leave them alone.

I do not want this to be the end and I cannot believe it has already nearly been about 3 years since having last seen them in person. It is getting to be unbearable and I cannot do much but think about how nice things where with them before compared to how bad things are now. I do not know anyone better than them, not even my own parents. I love talking to them they are the most interesting person on the planet, they have been to so many different places. I have never been able to look into someone's eyes and talk with them like I could happily do with them

What do I do? I don't think it would be okay to go see them without some extra special reason to try and reason to be friends again. If I thought I could love someone else I would let them go but I know there is no one else like them in many special ways.

Thank you for reading and sorry this is a long one but I do not have anyone to discuss this with.
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summerbirdreads
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#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Student Room users,

I am looking for your advise on how to get over having unrequited love for a best friend. Posting anonymously because this is very embarrassing but I need the help. Sorry this is a long one.
Been there done that... but she said she liked me too Ig. Cut them off.. that's the only way. .. you can't revive a dead friendship.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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(Original post by summerbirdreads)
Been there done that... but she said she liked me too Ig. Cut them off.. that's the only way. .. you can't revive a dead friendship.
I wish I could but there are too many obstacles in the way )_; How do I forget someone I know better than my own family and have never had such a connection with before? Where do I go now?
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summerbirdreads
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
I wish I could but there are too many obstacles in the way )_; How do I forget someone I know better than my own family and have never had such a connection with before? Where do I go now?
Well, I knew her more than I knew anyone too, she was and is my favourite person as well... but I had to cut her off because when I had her in my life, she was all I could think about and that wasn't healthy. So, I blocked her everywhere for months and that helped me so much, now I unblocked her and we're on speaking terms but it is weird ngl.. but it was the right decision.
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Surnia
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#5
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#5
Why do so many people just message and never bother to pick up the phone and actually talk to others? It would have been far more meaningful to have done this. However, you've gone about it in a way that has come across as desperate and I don't think you'll get the friendship back. You need to find other interests to occupy you and stop dwelling on this.

You won't find anyone else if you continually compare them to this friend. Other people will have unique qualities that they can bring to a friendship or relationship and you've got to be open to that; it's not a competition, so you need to stop thinking of someone as 'better', and consider them to be 'different'.
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Zarek
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#6
Report 1 month ago
#6
Put your energy in to something else instead, a new hobby and looking for new love. In hindsight all the time spent thinking about someone who isn’t up for it is wasted, they will never be someone you can rely on and it’s clearly got to the point where they want nothing to do with you. Thankfully there is not just one great person there are very many. Pick up the pieces and get going
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