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i dont know what to do about my mum drinking

cant believe im opening up about this on a forum lol.

before my mum and dad split when i was 7, they used to drink a lot together. i have lots of memories of being at a pub, or my parents having friends around, drinking and smoking weed infront of me. i remember one night having to steady my parents walking up my street because they were so drunk, me only being about 6 at the time. i also remember my mum being drunk and crashing our car into the neighbours wall, the police came, there was a lot of shouting and it made me really upset. i was in year 4 then.

my dad is definitely an alcoholic, but i dont see him much so it doesnt bother me. my mum has, either one or 2 pints of beer a night or a bottle of wine. and now im older i absolutely cant stand to see her drinking. the lack of control she has just pisses me off for some reason. i dont know if its because i expected after my dad to be gone it (alcohol) would have been solved, but i hate that i cant have a genuine conversation with her in an evening.

ive tried bringing this up with her multiple times before and she gets really defensive and mad at me saying that im trying to control her. then when she says she is going to cut down on it, she promises, she always breaks it the week after and im starting to lose my trust in her.

i dont really think she has an addiction because she used it to relax but i feel so stuck. i cant stand being around her when she's drunk it just makes me want to cry, and i dont know what to do about it. everyone ive talked to has said im being controlling and nobody seems to listen to how it makes me feel, not even her.

sorry for this but if i could have some advice or someone who can sort of relate that would be great. i feel awful
I’m sorry to hear it, and I regret that I don’t have any real advice, but I will say that your mum definitely has a drinking problem. Even if it’s not full blown alcoholism yet, the fact that she says she’ll cut down and then doesn’t is a huge red flag. You’re right to be worried, especially after everything you went through as a small child.
Reply 2
Avatar for Zarek
Zarek
21
Sorry to hear this, it certainly seems like dependent drinking which is a huge problem in society generally. Perhaps try a support helps organisation like Nacoa for some advice and help
Have you considered checking out the Bottled Up website?
They offer a free ebook for family members living with a problematic drinker filled with helpful information and some coping tips.
Here is the direct ebook link if you want it.
Good luck!

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