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I hate myself for my LLM degree

Bit of a rant (sorry in advance) but I can’t stop thinking about this.

I graduated from KCL with a LL.M merit (67) in international financial law.

I feel like an absolute loser because I see all my friends getting distinction (we’re all in the same course). I have immense passionate about the modules I took. But I messed in the finance module and the practice project, both modules I got a score in the low 60s which dragged me down.

I keep thinking I could’ve done better and that I had a shot at a distinction, but now I just feel stupid, useless, and embarrassed. I feel like I let my family down, I let myself down and I let my professors down. And that I’ve basically failed my masters.

Its been a couple days since I got my grades and I still can’t stop hating myself for what I got, and I just don’t know what to do.
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by Jam3sBM
Bit of a rant (sorry in advance) but I can’t stop thinking about this.

I graduated from KCL with a LL.M merit (67) in international financial law.

I feel like an absolute loser because I see all my friends getting distinction (we’re all in the same course). I have immense passionate about the modules I took. But I messed in the finance module and the practice project, both modules I got a score in the low 60s which dragged me down.

I keep thinking I could’ve done better and that I had a shot at a distinction, but now I just feel stupid, useless, and embarrassed. I feel like I let my family down, I let myself down and I let my professors down. And that I’ve basically failed my masters.

Its been a couple days since I got my grades and I still can’t stop hating myself for what I got, and I just don’t know what to do.

i hate myself too
I'm so sorry you feel that way. But I feel like the marks you've obtained doesn't really matter as much later on does it? Getting a masters (especially in a university like KCL ) isn't something easy. So please don't beat yourself up for it.
Original post by Jam3sBM
Bit of a rant (sorry in advance) but I can’t stop thinking about this.

I graduated from KCL with a LL.M merit (67) in international financial law.

I feel like an absolute loser because I see all my friends getting distinction (we’re all in the same course). I have immense passionate about the modules I took. But I messed in the finance module and the practice project, both modules I got a score in the low 60s which dragged me down.

I keep thinking I could’ve done better and that I had a shot at a distinction, but now I just feel stupid, useless, and embarrassed. I feel like I let my family down, I let myself down and I let my professors down. And that I’ve basically failed my masters.

Its been a couple days since I got my grades and I still can’t stop hating myself for what I got, and I just don’t know what to do.

That is a course not you as a person.
Take accountability for your grades and move on. Hating your grades will not change them.
So what if others got distinction? So what? aren’t you all going to get a job? Is your future boss going to tell you “I am not promoting you because you got a 67.
Grow up and focus on what truly matters.
First world problems eh?
O

Original post by Jam3sBM
Bit of a rant (sorry in advance) but I can’t stop thinking about this.

I graduated from KCL with a LL.M merit (67) in international financial law.

I feel like an absolute loser because I see all my friends getting distinction (we’re all in the same course). I have immense passionate about the modules I took. But I messed in the finance module and the practice project, both modules I got a score in the low 60s which dragged me down.

I keep thinking I could’ve done better and that I had a shot at a distinction, but now I just feel stupid, useless, and embarrassed. I feel like I let my family down, I let myself down and I let my professors down. And that I’ve basically failed my masters.

Its been a couple days since I got my grades and I still can’t stop hating myself for what I got, and I just don’t know what to do.

OP, I want to congratulate you anyway for completing the LLM! That in itself is such an achievement. I hope you get to look back on the experience more positively in due course, and not let your perception of the grade define your work. :smile:
Original post by Jam3sBM
Bit of a rant (sorry in advance) but I can’t stop thinking about this.

I graduated from KCL with a LL.M merit (67) in international financial law.

I feel like an absolute loser because I see all my friends getting distinction (we’re all in the same course). I have immense passionate about the modules I took. But I messed in the finance module and the practice project, both modules I got a score in the low 60s which dragged me down.

I keep thinking I could’ve done better and that I had a shot at a distinction, but now I just feel stupid, useless, and embarrassed. I feel like I let my family down, I let myself down and I let my professors down. And that I’ve basically failed my masters.

Its been a couple days since I got my grades and I still can’t stop hating myself for what I got, and I just don’t know what to do.

DONT ever feel bad about such thing! in the moment can be devastating, ive been in the same situation before with my MSc and all i can say is that nevertheless i am still proud that i accomplished my degrees and got through although my mental health state was at its lowest it ever was! People around me were dropping out...which did not make it easier as i was having quarter life crisis and thinking is it even worth it studying this degree? when others are just dropping out? i got though it and i am happy at least i made it...its easy to compare yourself to the 5% that is the best and push yourself down...and it is not easy for some reason to compare yourself to the ones who failed and take a moment to congratulate yourself for passing! no matter what was the grade!

SO CONGRATULATIONS from me for passing! do not let your negative emotions control you

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