Anonymous #1
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All the guys I know see me as a little sister. I’ve always been the nice one of my friends and the one everyone goes to for advice but no guys treat me like I’m a girl just like ‘one of the guys’ or the hot girls friend. I’m shy and don’t really put myself out there. What should I do?
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summerbirdreads
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
What should I do?
Stop being shy or the hot girl's friend and tell them you're not their sister.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by summerbirdreads)
Stop being shy or the hot girl's friend and tell them you're not their sister.
We’ve kinda stopped talking as much but i’m not gonna stop talking to her because a boy and being shy is part of my personality being confrontational makes me anxious
Thnx for the advice but I don’t see that happening or working any time soon
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0ptics
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#4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
All the guys I know see me as a little sister. I’ve always been the nice one of my friends and the one everyone goes to for advice but no guys treat me like I’m a girl just like ‘one of the guys’ or the hot girls friend. I’m shy and don’t really put myself out there. What should I do?
I feel like this post requires more context. Especially the part in bold as it could suggest that they’re using you to get worthwhile advice.
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summerbirdreads
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(Original post by Anonymous)
We’ve kinda stopped talking as much but i’m not gonna stop talking to her because a boy and being shy is part of my personality being confrontational makes me anxious
Thnx for the advice but I don’t see that happening or working any time soon
I'm not telling you to stop being her friend more like stop making your personality that.
Last edited by summerbirdreads; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 0ptics)
I feel like this post requires more context. Especially the part in bold as it could suggest that they’re using you to get worthwhile advice.
Sorry I should’ve made it more clear it’s both girls and guys who ask me for advice and not just about relationships but about things in general
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0ptics
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Sorry I should’ve made it more clear it’s both girls and guys who ask me for advice and not just about relationships but about things in general
That’s not what I meant when I said that context was required. I meant that do they only approach you for advice? Do they communicate with you on a regular basis or not?

Either way, the general point is that you shouldn’t have to change yourself for others. If you feel like your friends don’t appreciate you being you, I guess it’s time to look elsewhere…
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Old Skool Freak
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(Original post by Anonymous)
All the guys I know see me as a little sister. I’ve always been the nice one of my friends and the one everyone goes to for advice but no guys treat me like I’m a girl just like ‘one of the guys’ or the hot girls friend. I’m shy and don’t really put myself out there. What should I do?
Thing is, most groups form a natural dynamic. If you look at most groups of people, you'll probably find that they've all got very different personality types... but they all bring something valuable and unique to the group.

For example, I'm not sure if you've ever seen the 1990's sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S, but the 6 characters (3 guys and 3 girls) all have completely different personalities and characters... yet, they still had a very strong unbreakable bond, and I don't think they would survive without any of them. You had the geeky one (Ross); the good looking but "simple" ones (Joey & Rachel); the quirky / flaky one (Phoebe) ; the organised one (Monica) and the career one (Chandler) . This dynamic was also emphasised a bit more recently in the teen drama Skins in the 2000'-2010's.

Based on the above, chances are that's your role in your group... and TBH, it's a pretty good place to be IMHO (it's better than being "the fall guy", who everybody laughs at and takes the p*** out of) . However, if you really want to try and change your persona, you can try dressing up or acting in a different way (I don't want to give specific suggestions), and chances are at least one of them will pick up on it... (and you never know where that may lead )
Last edited by Old Skool Freak; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 0ptics)
That’s not what I meant when I said that context was required. I meant that do they only approach you for advice? Do they communicate with you on a regular basis or not?

Either way, the general point is that you shouldn’t have to change yourself for others. If you feel like your friends don’t appreciate you being you, I guess it’s time to look elsewhere…
Nope but I’m the silent one who only really talks up when I have something important or geeky to say
But thnx that’s really helpful
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Old Skool Freak)
Thing is, most groups form a natural dynamic. If you look at most groups of people, you'll probably find that they've all got very different personality types... but they all bring something valuable and unique to the group.

For example, I'm not sure if you've ever seen the 1990's sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S, but the 6 characters (3 guys and 3 girls) all have completely different personalities and characters... yet, they still had a very strong unbreakable bond, and I don't think they would survive without any of them. You had the geeky one (Ross); the good looking but "simple" ones (Joey & Rachel); the quirky / flaky one (Phoebe) ; the organised one (Monica) and the career one (Chandler) . This dynamic was also emphasised a bit more recently in the teen drama Skins in the 2000'-2010's.

Based on the above, chances are that's your role in your group... and TBH, it's a pretty good place to be IMHO (it's better than being "the fall guy", who everybody laughs at and takes the p*** out of) . However, if you really want to try and change your persona, you can try dressing up or acting in a different way (I don't want to give specific suggestions), and chances are at least one of them will pick up on it... (and you never know where that may lead )
TY that’s great advice but I don’t really want to change my persons for a guy I want someone who likes me for me
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It's almost like you're expecting a relationship, ignore all that and don't friendzone yourself.
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Old Skool Freak
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#12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
TY that’s great advice but I don’t really want to change my persons for a guy I want someone who likes me for me
In that case, you need to work on your shyness and self confidence, and be a bit more vocal in your group.

Try making your presence and opinions known in more general discussions, speak up a bit more and don't be afraid of being wrong / silly from time to time. Could even try instigating a few things / events? It's Christmas time now, so there's opportunities to think of something now. I'm not taking about changing who you are, just projecting yourself a bit more.,, think of it like a marketing / advertising exercise.

"Be yourself... and assert yourself"
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Old Skool Freak)
In that case, you need to work on your shyness and self confidence, and be a bit more vocal in your group.

Try making your presence and opinions known in more general discussions, speak up a bit more and don't be afraid of being wrong / silly from time to time. Could even try instigating a few things / events? It's Christmas time now, so there's opportunities to think of something now. I'm not taking about changing who you are, just projecting yourself a bit more.,, think of it like a marketing / advertising exercise.

"Be yourself... and assert yourself"
Thnx I’ll try I just don’t seem very good at it unless I’m comfortable
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Anonymous #1
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Old Skool Freak
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#15
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#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thnx I’ll try I just don’t seem very good at it unless I’m comfortable
Practice makes perfect m'dear

If they're truly your friends, they'll be patient with you... even if they can see you're a bit nervous.
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