didn’t have a childhood, is that why I can’t live an independent life?

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Anonymous #1
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Anonymous #1
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I feel like I need a childhood and be a kid to be able to grow up and live a fully independent life. You can’t just go from birth to a teenager and adult.
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Max1989
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I'm in the same boat as in I didn't really have a childhood , but for me it made me extremely independent at a young age as I couldn't rely on anyone else for anything.

The feel of missing out on your childhood prehaps is holding you back, you shoukd talk to somone about this, but the reality is that life goes on and having regrets about something that is now out of your control is just going to cause issues.
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BoogieBump
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(Original post by Anonymous)
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Yes and no.
It will take time but you cannot use the same argument throughout your adulthood.
Do something about it.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Max1989)
I'm in the same boat as in I didn't really have a childhood , but for me it made me extremely independent at a young age as I couldn't rely on anyone else for anything.

The feel of missing out on your childhood prehaps is holding you back, you shoukd talk to somone about this, but the reality is that life goes on and having regrets about something that is now out of your control is just going to cause issues.
i was sick throughout my childhood and it was serious and my parents had to take care of me, then after I hit puberty we put my health second as we realised it is long term and I had to randomly learn to do things myself.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Yvaa)
Yes and no.
It will take time but you cannot use the same argument throughout your adulthood.
Do something about it.
I do watch some cartoons now and ask my mum whenever something happens because I don’t know what to do (though I am supposed to know by now) and bare in mind this is 10 years into puberty so I guess that was my childhood and now I am supposed to be an adult.
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black tea
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i was sick throughout my childhood and it was serious and my parents had to take care of me, then after I hit puberty we put my health second as we realised it is long term and I had to randomly learn to do things myself.
It is pretty normal to be expected to start looking after yourself, including your health issues, when you are a teenager...
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by black tea)
It is pretty normal to be expected to start looking after yourself, including your health issues, when you are a teenager...
but most people (girls in my case) hit puberty around 13/14, I hit it at 10, some hit it at 8 and sometimes they go through precocious puberty which is early puberty before 8 for girls, we are expected to look after ourselves after puberty at least. I feel bad for the 8 year olds that went through it.
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BoogieBump
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I do watch some cartoons now and ask my mum whenever something happens because I don’t know what to do (though I am supposed to know by now) and bare in mind this is 10 years into puberty so I guess that was my childhood and now I am supposed to be an adult.
You can watch cartoons until whenever.
My dad is 56 and he does, so do we.
You need to step out of your comfort and make moves. Otherwise you will regret it when older.
Good luck!
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black tea
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(Original post by Anonymous)
but most people (girls in my case) hit puberty around 13/14, I hit it at 10, some hit it at 8 and sometimes they go through precocious puberty which is early puberty before 8 for girls, we are expected to look after ourselves after puberty at least. I feel bad for the 8 year olds that went through it.
What do you mean by being expected to look after yourself? Surely everyone is expected to look after themselves after puberty?
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eightocho
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Maybe you could try being forgiving of yourself when you struggle but not giving up and once you've tried really hard asking for help and not caring about the weird looks people might give you because they don't understand the circumstances? Obviously you might already be doing this but
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by black tea)
What do you mean by being expected to look after yourself? Surely everyone is expected to look after themselves after puberty?
but its harder if you have a disability or if you hit puberty as young as 8. People who have a disability or go through puberty that young may find it harder to look after themselves or may not be able to (I heard the youngest parents are aged 5 and 6 in China, not sure if they went through puberty that young)

I was lucky I was 10 though.
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1secondsofvamps
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Interesting.

It has the opposite effect on me. Not having a proper childhood meant i had a lot of responsibilities and pressure growing up. Not being able to do stuff other children were doing and feeling like i couldnt rely on others actually made me independent, perhaps too independent.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 1secondsofvamps)
Interesting.

It has the opposite effect on me. Not having a proper childhood meant i had a lot of responsibilities and pressure growing up. Not being able to do stuff other children were doing and feeling like i couldnt rely on others actually made me independent, perhaps too independent.
my illness from birth holds me back with independence. These kind of illnesses are rare.

I know someone in my primary school who had a different type but she is a full on grown baby who talks and walks like a baby, I look like a normal person and she suffers more than me. Shes fully dependent and I am partially dependent.
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eternaldevotiion
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i can relate to the title and it sucks : (
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 1secondsofvamps)
Interesting.

It has the opposite effect on me. Not having a proper childhood meant i had a lot of responsibilities and pressure growing up. Not being able to do stuff other children were doing and feeling like i couldnt rely on others actually made me independent, perhaps too independent.
if I didn’t have something from birth I would be fully independent or if I had another long term illness that didnt cause so many issues and it wasn’t as big as what I have and will have for life I would be like you, not having a proper childhood has the opposite effect.
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1secondsofvamps
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(Original post by Anonymous)
my illness from birth holds me back with independence. These kind of illnesses are rare.

I know someone in my primary school who had a different type but she is a full on grown baby who talks and walks like a baby, I look like a normal person and she suffers more than me. Shes fully dependent and I am partially dependent.
It's technically those with childhood trauma (not illnesses) that ends up being independent, or even hyper independent in some cases, due to the lack of a "normal childhood".

In your case, it's your illness, which is different.

(should say that my degree and postgrad is all about children and childhood which is why i slightly dont agree with the title of the thread)
Last edited by 1secondsofvamps; 5 months ago
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black tea
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(Original post by Anonymous)
but its harder if you have a disability or if you hit puberty as young as 8. People who have a disability or go through puberty that young may find it harder to look after themselves or may not be able to (I heard the youngest parents are aged 5 and 6 in China, not sure if they went through puberty that young)

I was lucky I was 10 though.
You didn't answer my question.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by black tea)
You didn't answer my question.
Everyone is expected to look after themselves after puberty but some people can’t, and some parents don’t show them how to do things or tell them to do certain things after puberty so how will they learn without someone telling them? of course theres the internet and friends but still. My parents didn’t tell me what to do after puberty and this could be another reason why I can’t live an independent life, my siblings (apart from my 26 year old brother who is normal and doesn’t have a disability and doesn’t know how to take care of himself) did things without being told, but I have a disability and I am different hence why I need to be shown and told to do it before I learn to do it without being told. We aren’t all the same.
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black tea
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Everyone is expected to look after themselves after puberty but some people can’t, and some parents don’t show them how to do things or tell them to do certain things after puberty so how will they learn without someone telling them? of course theres the internet and friends but still. My parents didn’t tell me what to do after puberty and this could be another reason why I can’t live an independent life, my siblings (apart from my 26 year old brother who is normal and doesn’t have a disability and doesn’t know how to take care of himself) did things without being told, but I have a disability and I am different hence why I need to be shown and told to do it before I learn to do it without being told. We aren’t all the same.
You are what, 20 now? Surely you have had time to learn? If not, ask a relative. If you need help because of a disability, ask for help. If an incident from when you were 16 is still affecting you, speak to a therapist.
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