trigger warning: gonna be a typical tsr user in this post crying over cambridge and academic burnout
got my rejection for cambridge medicine last week, realistically I knew it wasn't going to go my way in the days leading up to my BMAT because of how my preparation was going, and then on the test day, and immediately after the test day, and the days following, and then when I got my results I wasn't even waiting for an interview I was waiting for a rejection.
Cambridge interviews like 80-90% of med applicants, and I would've probably been in that if id gotten a better score. But it has been a really difficult few months mentally and family situations, so I honestly didn't start preparing until like a week before the test.
So yeah, I've been sitting on that rejection for a bit now, it didn't initially bother me much, because it was very much expected. But it's really started to set in that I won't be going and for some reason that is really getting to me. If I'm being 100% honest with myself I don't even want to go, not for medicine anyway. I hate hate hate the idea of the medicine course there, but that doesn't stop me being a bit sad. It's really weird I'm in two minds about this
I'm one of those who's wanted to go to cambridge since like year 7, don't know where or why I was thinking about it then but whatever. I always thought id do natural sciences, or archeology, or law at some point. And I probably would love to do one of those there. But as I've said not medicine. So now I'm in this really conflicted mindset, where I'm having to let go of a dream I've had for years, but a dream I don't really want, if that makes sense.
Idk if this was coherent at all, trying to get across my thought process. It's just seeing friends and tiktoks and posts on here about interviews, and one of my best friends started at Oxford this year and I'm so happy for her but it stings a bit. I've even thought about reapplying but then I won't graduate until I'm 26, If I don't get offers this cycle I will only be applying to 5 years courses for sure.
to sum up: I have really wanted to go to cambridge for years, and I'm sad about my rejection, struggling to get over it despite the fact I know it's not what's best for me. Conflicting emotions.