Creepy Driving Instructor

Watch
Tara_13
Badges: 1
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Hi I really need an opinion on my driving instructor.I've started lessons with my instructor this time last year(cuz of lockdown and stuff i only properly started this April). he is a very friendly guy and makes me laugh but sometimes whenever Im practising parking (reverse or forward bay) he makes me come out to check my positioning and he will basically call me over and position me right in front of him. from behind with his left hand and he'll hold me by my arm just above the elbow and with his right hand he'll touch my right arm and ask me to lift it to point to the lines on the bay. So he's basically standing right behind me doing all of this to me so close and its uncomfortable. he literally does this once every lesson whenever i park which is like every two weeks or so.And when he finishes and he's just explaining some stuff whilst we're still standing outside the car he stands super close to like literally right next to me there's no space at all. Once right at the start of the lesson he was like, 'oh i've been thinking about you' and it sounds so flirty I just ignored it and he then said oh nothing bad and just begins to talk about my driving.He's tapped my thigh once with the back of this finger, and a second time with his phone at the start of the lesson when we're just discussing what i did the previous lesson. and he's also once tapped the side of the thigh to get my attention.Few times he's pushed my knee down because I had to put the clutch down else we'll stall, and once I was gonna put the clutch down too early whilst braking and he grabbed my leg (the lower part not the thigh) and moved it away. He did apologise after that but it was only becuase he thought we would crash in front if i put the clutch down too early.Whenever we're parked up to stop and talk about something ive done wrong he usually touches my arm, it doesn't linger he just taps it whilst we're talking.Once in summer it was so hot and naturally i was wearing a short sleeve jumpsuit. and whilst i was at a giveway, obviously i'm looking left and right and my arms are placed at the top of the steering wheel ready to turn (thats what he teaches me) and he basically tapped his whole arm against mine twice pointing in front of us cuz some 5 year old boy had a huge chocolate box that was bigger than him. Earlier this year he always told me to lean forward at giveways but i just kept forgetting so he touched my back, like near my shoulder and where my bra strap would be and he pushes me forward it was so unfcomfortable. luckily he doesnt do it anymore.Also,( sorry ik this is super long), once when it was hot, i was waiting at a giveway and there was traffic on the lane i wanted to join so this guy gave me way. and he asked my why they gave me way, and i said because there's traffic, and he's like yeah thats true, but its because you're a girl and he's a guy. then he went onto saying it doesnt work with him tho and started laughing a bit. When there's a lady walking and she's wearing a figure hugging he literally looks its so annoying cuz sometimes he's talking to me and he just kinda stops to stare and then continues to talk. like im paying you to teach me to drive not stare at other females like wth.
He’s also asked my if it was that time of the month when I had a bad lesson and once at the start of the lesson where my temp was too high(cuz of covid he checked it before we start)
Btw I'm 20 and he's 58, married with 3 children.idk what to do, like he's not touching me inappropriately enough for me to complain but ik he's doing it on purpose and im just confused whether im overreacting or not. would much appreaciate some help.
Last edited by Tara_13; 1 month ago
0
reply
Reality Check
Badges: 22
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
(Original post by Tara_13)
Hi I really need an opinion on my driving instructor.I've started lessons with my instructor this time last year(cuz of lockdown and stuff i only properly started this April). he is a very friendly guy and makes me laugh but sometimes whenever Im practising parking (reverse or forward bay) he makes me come out to check my positioning and he will basically call me over and position me right in front of him. from behind with his left hand and he'll hold me by my arm just above the elbow and with his right hand he'll touch my right arm and ask me to lift it to point to the lines on the bay. So he's basically standing right behind me doing all of this to me so close and its uncomfortable. he literally does this once every lesson whenever i park which is like every two weeks or so.And when he finishes and he's just explaining some stuff whilst we're still standing outside the car he stands super close to like literally right next to me there's no space at all. Once right at the start of the lesson he was like, 'oh i've been thinking about you' and it sounds so flirty I just ignored it and he then said oh nothing bad and just begins to talk about my driving.He's tapped my thigh once with the back of this finger, and a second time with his phone at the start of the lesson when we're just discussing what i did the previous lesson. and he's also once tapped the side of the thigh to get my attention.Few times he's pushed my knee down because I had to put the clutch down else we'll stall, and once I was gonna put the clutch down too early whilst braking and he grabbed my leg (the lower part not the thigh) and moved it away. He did apologise after that but it was only becuase he thought we would crash in front if i put the clutch down too early.Whenever we're parked up to stop and talk about something ive done wrong he usually touches my arm, it doesn't linger he just taps it whilst we're talking.Once in summer it was so hot and naturally i was wearing a short sleeve jumpsuit. and whilst i was at a giveway, obviously i'm looking left and right and my arms are placed at the top of the steering wheel ready to turn (thats what he teaches me) and he basically tapped his whole arm against mine twice pointing in front of us cuz some 5 year old boy had a huge chocolate box that was bigger than him. Earlier this year he always told me to lean forward at giveways but i just kept forgetting so he touched my back, like near my shoulder and where my bra strap would be and he pushes me forward it was so unfcomfortable. luckily he doesnt do it anymore.Also,( sorry ik this is super long), once when it was hot, i was waiting at a giveway and there was traffic on the lane i wanted to join so this guy gave me way. and he asked my why they gave me way, and i said because there's traffic, and he's like yeah thats true, but its because you're a girl and he's a guy. then he went onto saying it doesnt work with him tho and started laughing a bit. When there's a lady walking and she's wearing a figure hugging he literally looks its so annoying cuz sometimes he's talking to me and he just kinda stops to stare and then continues to talk. like im paying you to teach me to drive not stare at other females like wth.Btw I'm 20 and he's 58, married with 3 children.idk what to do, like he's not touching me inappropriately enough for me to complain but ik he's doing it on purpose and im just confused whether im overreacting or not. would much appreaciate some help.
He sounds a bit handsy. Get another instructor if he makes you uncomfortable.
0
reply
ecolier
Badges: 22
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#3
Report 1 month ago
#3
(Original post by Tara_13)
Hi I really need an opinion on my driving instructor.I've started lessons with my instructor this time last year(cuz of lockdown and stuff i only properly started this April). he is a very friendly guy and makes me laugh but sometimes whenever Im practising parking (reverse or forward bay) he makes me come out to check my positioning and he will basically call me over and position me right in front of him. from behind with his left hand and he'll hold me by my arm just above the elbow and with his right hand he'll touch my right arm and ask me to lift it to point to the lines on the bay. So he's basically standing right behind me doing all of this to me so close and its uncomfortable. he literally does this once every lesson whenever i park which is like every two weeks or so.And when he finishes and he's just explaining some stuff whilst we're still standing outside the car he stands super close to like literally right next to me there's no space at all. Once right at the start of the lesson he was like, 'oh i've been thinking about you' and it sounds so flirty I just ignored it and he then said oh nothing bad and just begins to talk about my driving.He's tapped my thigh once with the back of this finger, and a second time with his phone at the start of the lesson when we're just discussing what i did the previous lesson. and he's also once tapped the side of the thigh to get my attention.Few times he's pushed my knee down because I had to put the clutch down else we'll stall, and once I was gonna put the clutch down too early whilst braking and he grabbed my leg (the lower part not the thigh) and moved it away. He did apologise after that but it was only becuase he thought we would crash in front if i put the clutch down too early.Whenever we're parked up to stop and talk about something ive done wrong he usually touches my arm, it doesn't linger he just taps it whilst we're talking.Once in summer it was so hot and naturally i was wearing a short sleeve jumpsuit. and whilst i was at a giveway, obviously i'm looking left and right and my arms are placed at the top of the steering wheel ready to turn (thats what he teaches me) and he basically tapped his whole arm against mine twice pointing in front of us cuz some 5 year old boy had a huge chocolate box that was bigger than him. Earlier this year he always told me to lean forward at giveways but i just kept forgetting so he touched my back, like near my shoulder and where my bra strap would be and he pushes me forward it was so unfcomfortable. luckily he doesnt do it anymore.Also,( sorry ik this is super long), once when it was hot, i was waiting at a giveway and there was traffic on the lane i wanted to join so this guy gave me way. and he asked my why they gave me way, and i said because there's traffic, and he's like yeah thats true, but its because you're a girl and he's a guy. then he went onto saying it doesnt work with him tho and started laughing a bit. When there's a lady walking and she's wearing a figure hugging he literally looks its so annoying cuz sometimes he's talking to me and he just kinda stops to stare and then continues to talk. like im paying you to teach me to drive not stare at other females like wth.Btw I'm 20 and he's 58, married with 3 children.idk what to do, like he's not touching me inappropriately enough for me to complain but ik he's doing it on purpose and im just confused whether im overreacting or not. would much appreaciate some help.
If he's caused you to make a thread about him, just change instructors.
1
reply
cablecringe
Badges: 9
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
sounds normal honestly, just step away from him
0
reply
slartibartfast4
Badges: 5
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#5
Report 1 month ago
#5
(Original post by Tara_13)
Hi I really need an opinion on my driving instructor.I've started lessons with my instructor this time last year(cuz of lockdown and stuff i only properly started this April). he is a very friendly guy and makes me laugh but sometimes whenever Im practising parking (reverse or forward bay) he makes me come out to check my positioning and he will basically call me over and position me right in front of him. from behind with his left hand and he'll hold me by my arm just above the elbow and with his right hand he'll touch my right arm and ask me to lift it to point to the lines on the bay. So he's basically standing right behind me doing all of this to me so close and its uncomfortable. he literally does this once every lesson whenever i park which is like every two weeks or so.And when he finishes and he's just explaining some stuff whilst we're still standing outside the car he stands super close to like literally right next to me there's no space at all. Once right at the start of the lesson he was like, 'oh i've been thinking about you' and it sounds so flirty I just ignored it and he then said oh nothing bad and just begins to talk about my driving.He's tapped my thigh once with the back of this finger, and a second time with his phone at the start of the lesson when we're just discussing what i did the previous lesson. and he's also once tapped the side of the thigh to get my attention.Few times he's pushed my knee down because I had to put the clutch down else we'll stall, and once I was gonna put the clutch down too early whilst braking and he grabbed my leg (the lower part not the thigh) and moved it away. He did apologise after that but it was only becuase he thought we would crash in front if i put the clutch down too early.Whenever we're parked up to stop and talk about something ive done wrong he usually touches my arm, it doesn't linger he just taps it whilst we're talking.Once in summer it was so hot and naturally i was wearing a short sleeve jumpsuit. and whilst i was at a giveway, obviously i'm looking left and right and my arms are placed at the top of the steering wheel ready to turn (thats what he teaches me) and he basically tapped his whole arm against mine twice pointing in front of us cuz some 5 year old boy had a huge chocolate box that was bigger than him. Earlier this year he always told me to lean forward at giveways but i just kept forgetting so he touched my back, like near my shoulder and where my bra strap would be and he pushes me forward it was so unfcomfortable. luckily he doesnt do it anymore.Also,( sorry ik this is super long), once when it was hot, i was waiting at a giveway and there was traffic on the lane i wanted to join so this guy gave me way. and he asked my why they gave me way, and i said because there's traffic, and he's like yeah thats true, but its because you're a girl and he's a guy. then he went onto saying it doesnt work with him tho and started laughing a bit. When there's a lady walking and she's wearing a figure hugging he literally looks its so annoying cuz sometimes he's talking to me and he just kinda stops to stare and then continues to talk. like im paying you to teach me to drive not stare at other females like wth.
He’s also asked my if it was that time of the month when I had a bad lesson and once at the start of the lesson where my temp was too high(cuz of covid he checked it before we start)
Btw I'm 20 and he's 58, married with 3 children.idk what to do, like he's not touching me inappropriately enough for me to complain but ik he's doing it on purpose and im just confused whether im overreacting or not. would much appreaciate some help.
It is strictly against the ADI code of conduct to make any unnecessary physical contact, you should report this behaviour immediately to the DVSA https://www.gov.uk/complain-about-a-driving-instructor
1
reply
lojawa
Badges: 13
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#6
Report 1 month ago
#6
(Original post by cablecringe)
sounds normal honestly, just step away from him
This behaviour isn’t normal. It’s unnecessary and the instructor is exploiting his position of authority for his own gratification. OP shouldn’t feel that inappropriate conversation and casual thigh-stroking by someone in a position of trust with whom she is stuck in vehicle is in any way acceptable.

Agree with other commenters OP, your confidence and learning experience is being threatened by this man and you deserve more for your money with a new instructor.
Last edited by lojawa; 1 month ago
0
reply
Admit-One
Badges: 21
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#7
Report 1 month ago
#7
Another vote for new instructor and use the complaint form above.
0
reply
cablecringe
Badges: 9
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#8
Report 1 month ago
#8
(Original post by lojawa)
This behaviour isn’t normal. It’s unnecessary and the instructor is exploiting his position of authority for his own gratification. OP shouldn’t feel that inappropriate conversation and casual thigh-stroking by someone in a position of trust with whom she is stuck in vehicle is in any way acceptable.

Agree with other commenters OP, your confidence and learning experience is being threatened by this man and you deserve more for your money with a new instructor.
soz I was talking about it generally not ethically, I can see where I phrased that wrong lol
0
reply
PinkSmoothie
Badges: 5
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#9
Report 1 month ago
#9
Wow, that does sound very uncomfortable, i don't think that your overreacting. Personally, i would be disgusted and find another instructor
Last edited by PinkSmoothie; 1 month ago
0
reply
Zarek
Badges: 21
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#10
Report 1 month ago
#10
The touching is inappropriate, not to mention the time of the month quip. I would find a new instructor
0
reply
Bigboyyoussef
Badges: 6
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#11
Report 1 month ago
#11
Who the hell does that instructor think he is? He shouldnt be touching you whatsoever, and a silly excuse doesnt make it better. Just report him. If the next driving instructor is also a perv, you have the right to say dont touch me, its not rude
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

When did you submit your Ucas application if you applied to go to university this year?

September 2021 (29)
7.11%
October 2021 (189)
46.32%
November 2021 (42)
10.29%
December 2021 (53)
12.99%
January 2021 (44)
10.78%
I still haven't submitted it yet! (38)
9.31%
Something else (13)
3.19%

Watched Threads

View All