Will I not make friends if I don't stay in uni accomodation?

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Pandalovesfood
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#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Hi! I'm applying to uni for the 2022 entry but I'm confused on whether I should pick uni accomodation or travel from home. I have social anxiety and I'm worried that if I pick uni accomodation, what if my flatmates don't like me or what if they are the type to partying and drugs, but that's just not me. I'm also non-confrontational so what if I have a problem with them and cannot bring it up or what if they have a problem with me. But I'm more worried that what if I have a harder time of making friends if I don't stay in uni accommodation, because I find it difficult to start a conversation with people, so I think I would find it difficult for me to reach out first to my class mates. One of the uni's I'm thinking about applying to University of Greenwich, it's not that far away from my, 1hour 35minutes but I kinda wanted to move out and hopefully make friends but I'm scared that my flatmates won't like me and I won't like them. What should I do? Please help.
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headieone
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#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
(Original post by Pandalovesfood)
Hi! I'm applying to uni for the 2022 entry but I'm confused on whether I should pick uni accomodation or travel from home. I have social anxiety and I'm worried that if I pick uni accomodation, what if my flatmates don't like me or what if they are the type to partying and drugs, but that's just not me. I'm also non-confrontational so what if I have a problem with them and cannot bring it up or what if they have a problem with me. But I'm more worried that what if I have a harder time of making friends if I don't stay in uni accommodation, because I find it difficult to start a conversation with people, so I think I would find it difficult for me to reach out first to my class mates. One of the uni's I'm thinking about applying to University of Greenwich, it's not that far away from my, 1hour 35minutes but I kinda wanted to move out and hopefully make friends but I'm scared that my flatmates won't like me and I won't like them. What should I do? Please help.
It's totally normal to feel this way before moving into uni accom, I'm in 2nd year right now and I had similar feelings. You're going to have multiple flatmates, all from completely different backgrounds with different personalities so worst case scenario if you don't like 1 of them you'll still have the rest. Not everyone at uni is into partying/drugs my flatmates last year weren't, it's normal. You also get the choice to move out of accommodation to a different one if you wanted to. I would personally say step out of your comfort zone and stay in uni accommodation, but if you choose to stay at home at the end of the day there are plenty of opportunities to make friends e.g. at clubs or lectures, you'll find someone eventually
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skylark2
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#3
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#3
1 hr 35 minutes is a very long commute to uni (presumably that's best case and if there are any delays it will be more like 2 hours). If that's the closest place you are applying to, living at home really isn't going to be practical. It doesn't have to be uni accommodation where you are randomly allocated to a group though. You could move into a private shared house. Students are often looking for an extra person if, e.g. someone's dropped out, and you could talk to them and decide if you are compatible before making a decision.

Apart from that, I'm not really sure what the question is. If you don't talk to people you won't make friends. It is much easier to talk to people when there's a built in reason - living together is a really basic one. Going to societies together is another one (what hobbies and interests do you have? surely there will be university-level groups for at least some of them), but a potential four hour commute is going to seriously cut down on the time you have available for that.
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828582686989
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#4
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#4
I have social anxiety too and would strongly recommend an accomodation. Staying at home is inconvenient, especially when the weather is bad. Halls will increase your chances of making friends. Face up to your fears, I'm planning to do the same.
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Nobody2u
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#5
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#5
The most important reason for going to Uni is study, so choose the solution that will ensure the best results for you. That being said, the social side and networking are important as well for life after uni. You may well fall into a flat of party goers but as long as they are respectful of your space that shouldn't be a problem, you are free to join in or not. My 3 children have always had one or two more timid members in their flats who provided a calming influence, and they all got on well,( admittedly it took a few extra weeks to get to know the more shy elements) moving into private accomodation together afterwards. Different degrees require different study loads so not everyone will be out drinking and dancing every night, and depending on the uni you can select drinking or non drinking flats, single sex etc. Research what is available before deciding to live in or out of halls.
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Joleee
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#6
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#6
stay at home if you're not ready yet to experience the unexpected and living with strangers who may be unlike you.

personally have never been friends with my flatmates but it wasn't a social issue for me cuz i can carry on a conversation and friendships with people i don't live with. i reckon that's a problem for you, tho ammi right?
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SomMC1
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#7
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#7
(Original post by skylark2)
1 hr 35 minutes is a very long commute to uni (presumably that's best case and if there are any delays it will be more like 2 hours). If that's the closest place you are applying to, living at home really isn't going to be practical. It doesn't have to be uni accommodation where you are randomly allocated to a group though. You could move into a private shared house. Students are often looking for an extra person if, e.g. someone's dropped out, and you could talk to them and decide if you are compatible before making a decision.

Apart from that, I'm not really sure what the question is. If you don't talk to people you won't make friends. It is much easier to talk to people when there's a built in reason - living together is a really basic one. Going to societies together is another one (what hobbies and interests do you have? surely there will be university-level groups for at least some of them), but a potential four hour commute is going to seriously cut down on the time you have available for that.
I agree with pretty much everything you said. Especially with the ‘built in reason’ to talk to people; either by living together or by being in the same tutorial or joining for same society. That’s the best place to meet people, and then you can see which people would best suit you.
Last edited by SomMC1; 1 month ago
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De Montfort University
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Pandalovesfood)
Hi! I'm applying to uni for the 2022 entry but I'm confused on whether I should pick uni accomodation or travel from home. I have social anxiety and I'm worried that if I pick uni accomodation, what if my flatmates don't like me or what if they are the type to partying and drugs, but that's just not me. I'm also non-confrontational so what if I have a problem with them and cannot bring it up or what if they have a problem with me. But I'm more worried that what if I have a harder time of making friends if I don't stay in uni accommodation, because I find it difficult to start a conversation with people, so I think I would find it difficult for me to reach out first to my class mates. One of the uni's I'm thinking about applying to University of Greenwich, it's not that far away from my, 1hour 35minutes but I kinda wanted to move out and hopefully make friends but I'm scared that my flatmates won't like me and I won't like them. What should I do? Please help.
Hi Pandalovesfood, how are you?

I’m Konnie, a postgraduate student at De Montfort University, Leicester. 😊

I totally understand how difficult this decision can be!

I think the most important thing that you can do, is go for the option that will benefit you the most. I lived at university for my undergraduate study, but now live back at home whilst I complete my postgraduate study – so I’ve experienced university life from both sides. The reason I decided to live back at home whilst studying postgrad was mainly to do with affordability. I have a longer commute, but it is better for me in the long run.

And I still made friends on my course!

I know it is hard, but I would try not to think about what ‘could’ happen as a result of whatever decision you make. Chances are that the things that you are worrying about may not even happen. You don’t want to overwhelm yourself. At this point you should only be thinking about what you want to do, to make sure that you have the best university experience possible.

Maybe you could make a list of the advantages and disadvantages of each living situation, to see which one you are leaning towards the most?

I hope this helps!

Konnie 😊
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ShubhamAgarwal
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#9
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#9
Living off campus has the disadvantage of making it more difficult to meet friends. Living in a dorm or other type of student living on campus is a fantastic chance to meet new people and make new friends with similar interests.
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University of Bradford
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#10
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#10
(Original post by Pandalovesfood)
Hi! I'm applying to uni for the 2022 entry but I'm confused on whether I should pick uni accomodation or travel from home. I have social anxiety and I'm worried that if I pick uni accomodation, what if my flatmates don't like me or what if they are the type to partying and drugs, but that's just not me. I'm also non-confrontational so what if I have a problem with them and cannot bring it up or what if they have a problem with me. But I'm more worried that what if I have a harder time of making friends if I don't stay in uni accommodation, because I find it difficult to start a conversation with people, so I think I would find it difficult for me to reach out first to my class mates. One of the uni's I'm thinking about applying to University of Greenwich, it's not that far away from my, 1hour 35minutes but I kinda wanted to move out and hopefully make friends but I'm scared that my flatmates won't like me and I won't like them. What should I do? Please help.
Hey Pandalovesfood

When I was a student I decided to stay at home instead of living in accommodation, I was very shy and just felt more comfortable commuting. I found no problems with not living in accommodation, I felt I had the same opportunities as anyone else to make friends and join in with events.

I'd recommend joining a club or society, that way you're around likeminded people with similar interests, helping make convo that bit easier You could also look into volunteering opportunities, part-time work on campus or look into becoming a student ambassador - all fab ways of meeting new people.

I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you, do what's best for you.

Good luck with everything,

Becky
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Pandalovesfood
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#11
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#11
Thank you everyone for the helpful replies😭 I hope I find nice people like you in uni. After hearing everyone's advice, I have decided to stay in uni accommodation. I want to step out of my comfort zone and make friends. Hopefully, this will help me with my social anxiety. Thank you again everyone 😊
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ToGodly
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#12
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#12
I’m literally in the same situation as you. I’m going uni next year and don’t know what to do🥲
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londonmyst
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#13
Report 4 weeks ago
#13
(Original post by ToGodly)
I’m literally in the same situation as you. I’m going uni next year and don’t know what to do🥲
Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you.
Of course, your finances and lifestyle preferences will also determine which options are best suited for your circumstances.
Good luck!
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