bad vibes.....?

ok, so basically, whenever i am around people ( mostly guys or some girls) that i dont know, or have just been introduced to, i freeze up and cant seem to think of anything to say - like i put up some kind of barrier. And when i do say something, its like one sentence and the conversation just fizzles out. My friends have told me that if i believe in myself then ill gain confidence blah blah blah, but that doesnt help if i cant think of anything to converse about!! Also, one of my friends told me that i sometimes give out bad vibes when im in a situation that im not truly comfortable with.... and that can make me seem unapproachable etc. I also know that if i think someone doesnt like me (just because they dont approach me or whatever) then i retreat into myself. aghh, it just makes it impossible to meet and date guys because i cant get past the first conversational hurdle that all my friends seem to be able to do. :frown:

How do i make people feel comfortable around me and vice versa? .....
its making me miserable tbh

Reply 1

mashw

Stop giving a **** about whether the other person is more comfortable or how you're coming across, as soon as you're comfortable with the fact that you just won't gel with some people you'll be a lot more relaxed. The problem with these things are the more you think about them the bigger the problem becomes.

Reply 2

Gaara.

Just know that if you dont click or it doesnt go well, then you won't have to talk to them again.

Reply 3

EsleyDobemos

Don't think too much of what you have to say. let it come to you. What's happening is that you are putting yourself into odd situation and the other person perceives that you don't like his/her company. just like you said bad vibes...

There is a lot you can do but first things first:
-"- for starters: be happy and smile
-"- switch your attention from yourself and how "someone doesnt like you" to something you are interested in. Let's say, show genuine interest in the other person or the discussion.
-"- Usually first convo's are getting-to-know-each-other-small-talk. Try to observe something about that person. ask them questions. Most of the time they will ask you questions back and eventually you might hit a topic of common interest. oh and it's good to be comfortable sharing your point of view, perhaps even some experiences and funny stories. It shows off your personality, making people show off theirs. the ultimate comfort zone. =D

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