masters personal statement

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Joshwoods01
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#1
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#1
please could I get some criticism on this? I find it hard to write personal statements as I've not had much in terms of experience, just education

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zetamcfc
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#2
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#2
(Original post by Joshwoods01)
please could I get some criticism on this? I find it hard to write personal statements as I've not had much in terms of experience, just education

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Attachment not found. What masters are you applying for?
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Joshwoods01
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#3
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#3
(Original post by zetamcfc)
Attachment not found. What masters are you applying for?
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can you see this now? it's for mathematics
Last edited by Joshwoods01; 7 months ago
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DFranklin
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Joshwoods01)
can you see this now? it's for mathematics
I'm not sure if it's incomplete, but 75% of what you've posted is about what you've done pre-university. I don't know about a masters, but I've interviewed new graduates for employment, and I would care *far* more about what you've done during your degree than during your A-levels.
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Joshwoods01
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#5
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#5
(Original post by DFranklin)
I'm not sure if it's incomplete, but 75% of what you've posted is about what you've done pre-university. I don't know about a masters, but I've interviewed new graduates for employment, and I would care *far* more about what you've done during your degree than during your A-levels.
its not finidhed yet no, jusy struggling what to add; What would you recommend I include? I havnt really done much during university apart from learning the content,but I have achieved a first in every assignment upto now, I suppose I could talk about the project I'm working on for my module? And a presentation I did in first year? just finding it hard to talk about things that would stand out when the past 3 years hace just been watching a PowerPoint online then taking an exam
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zetamcfc
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#6
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(Original post by DFranklin)
I'm not sure if it's incomplete, but 75% of what you've posted is about what you've done pre-university. I don't know about a masters, but I've interviewed new graduates for employment, and I would care *far* more about what you've done during your degree than during your A-levels.
Yeah I was going to say, it reads a bit like a undergrad PS.
(Original post by Joshwoods01)
its not finidhed yet no, jusy struggling what to add; What would you recommend I include? I havnt really done much during university apart from learning the content,but I have achieved a first in every assignment upto now, I suppose I could talk about the project I'm working on for my module? And a presentation I did in first year? just finding it hard to talk about things that would stand out when the past 3 years hace just been watching a PowerPoint online then taking an exam
Literally just talk about maths. What you've done, why you like it, why is it interesting. Yes, talk about you project, presentations everything.


Spoiler:
Show
My interest in the Masters programme comes from my project at undergraduate level on Tropical Geometry and Algebra. This is one of the few courses where I can get a more grounded background in Algebraic Geometry and Semigroup Theory, which will help me as I pursue my interest in the Tropical world. I feel I am suitable for the programme after gaining a First in my undergraduate degree in Mathematics at the University of Aberdeen. There I got the chance to work with people on problems which we found mutually challenging. This enhanced my understanding of the content of the courses and also showed beneficial working with others in Mathematics is. My experience is like most Mathematics undergraduates, having a good foundation in Analysis culminating in Hilbert Spaces. My undergraduate degree followed a normal sequence of Algebra courses ending with my two favourite: Galois Theory and Number Theory. Number Theory was lectured with Galois Theory as pretty much a pre-requisite, as the natural crossover was discussed in detail. Also a couple of Topology courses starting with Metric and Topological Spaces which worked through Sutherland's book and Algebraic Topology which ended with using van Kampen's theorem to find fundamental groups of wedge and cross products of different topological spaces. I also did a project on Tropical Geometry and Algebra, which was a lot of fun. I enjoyed seeing how difficult problems in the usual characterizations such as Bezout's Theorem are translated into quite simple problems in the Tropical world. I also saw how parallels such as the Fundamental Theorem of Algebra have their Tropical counterpart, which although requires a lot of setting up, yields a very nice result. The most interesting part of the project was to do with Algebraic structures on Tropical curves, and how unlike in Algebraic Geometry, smooth cubics in the Tropical world do not have a group structure attached to them from the equivalence classes of divisors of the curve. In this project I also got the chance to peer assess a fellow stuendts project with my advisor. This gave me a chance to think critically about propose proofs of statements, which helped my greatly when trying to prove lemmas for my project and for homeworks in other courses. It also stressed to me the importance of conciseness andd clarity when writing Mathematics.

From this course I hope to gain a broader understanding of some areas of Mathematics not in my undergraduate course such as Lie Algebras/Groups and Functional Analysis. I hope with this knowledge I will then go on to do a PhD if I find I have a strong aptitude for it. If not, then I intend to go into teaching, as I have found it a very reward thing to do; whether I am helping a GCSE student or a fellow undergraduate, the feeling is tremendous. Outside of formal studying, I enjoy trying to find an algebraic structure on smooth tropical cubics, without much success so far, but I remain hopeful. Away from Mathematics in general, I play cricket and have a season ticket at Manchester City.

I've managed to dig up my PS for York. It is truly awful, I feel (I did get an offer). Just waffled on for a bit. Really, just show interest, have that 1st / 2:1 and you'll get an offer unless you are applying to Part III, Bonn, etc. which may require some more effort.
Last edited by zetamcfc; 7 months ago
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Joshwoods01
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#7
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#7
(Original post by zetamcfc)
Literally just talk about maths. What you've done, why you like it, why is it interesting. Yes, talk about you project, presentations everything.


Spoiler:
Show
My interest in the Masters programme comes from my project at undergraduate level on Tropical Geometry and Algebra. This is one of the few courses where I can get a more grounded background in Algebraic Geometry and Semigroup Theory, which will help me as I pursue my interest in the Tropical world. I feel I am suitable for the programme after gaining a First in my undergraduate degree in Mathematics at the University of Aberdeen. There I got the chance to work with people on problems which we found mutually challenging. This enhanced my understanding of the content of the courses and also showed beneficial working with others in Mathematics is. My experience is like most Mathematics undergraduates, having a good foundation in Analysis culminating in Hilbert Spaces. My undergraduate degree followed a normal sequence of Algebra courses ending with my two favourite: Galois Theory and Number Theory. Number Theory was lectured with Galois Theory as pretty much a pre-requisite, as the natural crossover was discussed in detail. Also a couple of Topology courses starting with Metric and Topological Spaces which worked through Sutherland's book and Algebraic Topology which ended with using van Kampen's theorem to find fundamental groups of wedge and cross products of different topological spaces. I also did a project on Tropical Geometry and Algebra, which was a lot of fun. I enjoyed seeing how difficult problems in the usual characterizations such as Bezout's Theorem are translated into quite simple problems in the Tropical world. I also saw how parallels such as the Fundamental Theorem of Algebra have their Tropical counterpart, which although requires a lot of setting up, yields a very nice result. The most interesting part of the project was to do with Algebraic structures on Tropical curves, and how unlike in Algebraic Geometry, smooth cubics in the Tropical world do not have a group structure attached to them from the equivalence classes of divisors of the curve. In this project I also got the chance to peer assess a fellow stuendts project with my advisor. This gave me a chance to think critically about propose proofs of statements, which helped my greatly when trying to prove lemmas for my project and for homeworks in other courses. It also stressed to me the importance of conciseness andd clarity when writing Mathematics.

From this course I hope to gain a broader understanding of some areas of Mathematics not in my undergraduate course such as Lie Algebras/Groups and Functional Analysis. I hope with this knowledge I will then go on to do a PhD if I find I have a strong aptitude for it. If not, then I intend to go into teaching, as I have found it a very reward thing to do; whether I am helping a GCSE student or a fellow undergraduate, the feeling is tremendous. Outside of formal studying, I enjoy trying to find an algebraic structure on smooth tropical cubics, without much success so far, but I remain hopeful. Away from Mathematics in general, I play cricket and have a season ticket at Manchester City.

I've managed to dig up my PS for York. It is truly awful, I feel (I did get an offer). Just waffled on for a bit. Really, just show interest, have that 1st / 2:1 and you'll get an offer unless you are applying to Part III, Bonn, etc.
this is great thank You!!
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DFranklin
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#8
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#8
Joshwoods01 - although I'm quoting zetamcfc, this is really aimed at you...

(Original post by zetamcfc)
Literally just talk about maths. What you've done, why you like it, why is it interesting. Yes, talk about you project, presentations everything.
Yeah that.

I've managed to dig up my PS for York. It is truly awful, I feel (I did get an offer). Just waffled on for a bit. Really, just show interest, have that 1st / 2:1 and you'll get an offer unless you are applying to Part III, Bonn, etc. which may require some more effort.
I think this is actually pretty good for an undergrad, so @Joshwoods01 - don't be psyched out by him saying it's awful. I really don't think it is.
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DFranklin
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#9
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#9
(Original post by Joshwoods01)
can you see this now? it's for mathematics
I wanted to make a point so copied out your last paragraph (and next time, can you just post a text version? I'm a fast typist so it wasn't a big deal, but it was kind of annoying having to copy-type what you posted into a text editor):
Once college was over, and university had begun, my collection of mathematics books and started to grow rapidly due to being introduced to so many more branches of mathematics, including number theory, group theory, stochastic processes, real and complex analysis and more.

By the end of my studies, I hope to achieve a position as a researcher and lecturer at a university and be able to work alongside other mathematicians, applying my knowledge to a project.
I'm not going to hit you on the style issues, but what strikes me, comparing with zeta's, is how very generic this is. It's like you just listed a random collection of courses you took. I've got no indication of what you liked, but worse, I've got no idea whether you actually know anything about them at all! Let me do my own version:
(Original post by DFranklin)
Once college was over, and university had begun, my collection of mathematics books and started to grow rapidly due to being introduced to so many more branches of mathematics, including Iwasawi theory, non-linear PDEs, martingales, category and topos theory and more.

By the end of my studies, I hope to achieve a position as a researcher and lecturer at a university and be able to work alongside other mathematicians, applying my knowledge to a project.
In my version, I've specifically picked 5 topics I know the name of and pretty much nothing else, and it basically reads just as well as yours (probably a slightly eclectic mix of topics I've chosen, but whatever).

If I'm reading that as an interviewer, I am absolutely noticing that there's nothing there that indicates you actually know the topics at all.

If I read zeta's, it's immediately obvious that he's got an understanding of the topics (I'll be honest, I know nothing about Tropical Geometry; it could be a bluff, but it would be a bit of a mad bluff, as it would be certain to be called at interview). He uses technical terms, and he talks about relationships between courses in a way that shows he both understands the courses and some of the bigger picture connecting them. As well as telling me what he knows, his statement tells me what he's interested in. It's all very specific rather than generic. In particular, I couldn't possibly replace it with random courses I picked off a shelf without ending up with something filled with contradictions.
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Joshwoods01
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#10
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#10
(Original post by DFranklin)
In my version, I've specifically picked 5 topics I know the name of and pretty much nothing else, and it basically reads just as well as yours (probably a slightly eclectic mix of topics I've chosen, but whatever).

If I'm reading that as an interviewer, I am absolutely noticing that there's nothing there that indicates you actually know the topics at all.

If I read zeta's, it's immediately obvious that he's got an understanding of the topics (I'll be honest, I know nothing about Tropical Geometry; it could be a bluff, but it would be a bit of a mad bluff, as it would be certain to be called at interview). He uses technical terms, and he talks about relationships between courses in a way that shows he both understands the courses and some of the bigger picture connecting them. As well as telling me what he knows, his statement tells me what he's interested in. It's all very specific rather than generic. In particular, I couldn't possibly replace it with random courses I picked off a shelf without ending up with something filled with contradictions.
I see what you mean, thank you
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Joshwoods01
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#11
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#11
ill see what I can do to it
Last edited by Joshwoods01; 7 months ago
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1secondsofvamps
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#12
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#12
You might want to take your PS down as people might steal/plagiarize it.
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