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My boyfriend isn't crazy about me anymore
We have only been together almost a year now. Yet although we speak every day and spend a lot of time together the spark has definitely gone, compared to how we used to be. For example he's always in a rush to get off the phone, doesn't seem to eager to listen to my problems, doesn't send me long and sweet texts anymore, doesn't make any effort on our anniversaries. I just don't know how to rekindle that spark again. When I tell him about it he just listens in silence and doesn't really have much to say. I just don't know how to bring the old him back....I feel like I'm making ALL the effort in terms of conversation, nights out, his problems yet when it comes to me I get nothing. I have even resorted to trying to make him jealous and I DID get a reaction from him but I don't want to have to do that all the time. I just wish I could make him see what he is doing to me.
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anniversaries but you've not even been together a year? 
talk to him ffs, thats what people in relationships do to make it work.
talk to him ffs, thats what people in relationships do to make it work.
walk to him.
and by "walk", I mean talk.
and by "talk to" I mean dump.
Seriously, talk to him OR carry on talking to us all night and hope all will be good in the morning.
and by "walk", I mean talk.
and by "talk to" I mean dump.
Seriously, talk to him OR carry on talking to us all night and hope all will be good in the morning.
I dont think you should dump him, thats irrational considering the length of time you have been seeing him, I got with that with my ex, but I told him straight and we got through it (Only broke up 3 weeks ago, as he moved away
)
But do not dump him, talk to him first!
)But do not dump him, talk to him first!
death.drop
anniversaries but you've not even been together a year?
talk to him ffs, thats what people in relationships do to make it work.
talk to him ffs, thats what people in relationships do to make it work.
You didn't read my post properly, I mentioned that I have tried talking to him but he just sits in silence. As for anniversaries, I meant any momentous occasion in general. He makes no effort to book a restaurant or show some initiative, it's always me who has to do the running around.
alex_hk90
Explain this to him, see if the situation improves, otherwise move on.
I have explained it to him..talking is no good. At most he'll show interest for a day and then forget and go back to his normal ways. I know he loves me but he is struggling to show it...
Like everyone else has said.. talk to him! Even if you have before do it again, and make sure he knows just how much it's bothering you.
Or just admit that sometimes this happens in relationships, and things just die out.
Could even be that he thinks there isnt a problem between you both, or that he's feeling the same as you but doesn't want to talk about it for fear that you won't be able to find a solution.
Or just admit that sometimes this happens in relationships, and things just die out.
Could even be that he thinks there isnt a problem between you both, or that he's feeling the same as you but doesn't want to talk about it for fear that you won't be able to find a solution.
Anonymous
You didn't read my post properly, I mentioned that I have tried talking to him but he just sits in silence.
maybe try email. lots of people find it hard to have discussions face to face, especially when it feels like they're under attack.
As for anniversaries, I meant any momentous occasion in general. He makes no effort to book a restaurant or show some initiative, it's always me who has to do the running around.
maybe he's just that kind of guy. you can't try and change people but only you can decide if you want to settle for how he is now.
Ive been with my boyfriend for a almost three years now and after about a year I experienced the same thing as you are now. It upset me a lot, as I'm quite an emotional person anyway. I was always obsessing about the fact that his texts were shorter, he wasnt being as lovey-dovey as he used to be etc etc, and when I brought it up with him he said he didn't even realise he was being any different. So after that I just let it go, accepted that this type of thing happens in long-term relationships and things have improved a lot 
You will find that the intensity of love will go up and down... like sometimes there will be a huge rush of love and a return to the long emotional texts and phone calls but then other times he won't bother. And that's fine, it's how it works - couples who have been together 30+ years probably don't spend all their time phoning each other whispering sweet nothings! After a while you're more comfortable in each other's love and you feel secure in that and therefore you don't need to make as much effort to let the other person know how much they mean to you, because you hope they already know.
As long as you're not too obsessive over this or too clingy, he probably doesn't even realise he's doing it!
But see how it goes. If he really isn't making an effort to do anything over an extended period of time then perhaps its time to have a rethink about the relationship.
You will find that the intensity of love will go up and down... like sometimes there will be a huge rush of love and a return to the long emotional texts and phone calls but then other times he won't bother. And that's fine, it's how it works - couples who have been together 30+ years probably don't spend all their time phoning each other whispering sweet nothings! After a while you're more comfortable in each other's love and you feel secure in that and therefore you don't need to make as much effort to let the other person know how much they mean to you, because you hope they already know.As long as you're not too obsessive over this or too clingy, he probably doesn't even realise he's doing it!
But see how it goes. If he really isn't making an effort to do anything over an extended period of time then perhaps its time to have a rethink about the relationship.
Anonymous
I have explained it to him..talking is no good. At most he'll show interest for a day and then forget and go back to his normal ways. I know he loves me but he is struggling to show it...
**** all u are about is feeling this feeling that.
what about if you sit him down, leave the ******** and feelings out of it and talk about the reality of the situation tell him sparks gone u dont like me and all that ****...and then hell be like i wuvvy duvvy luv u and then ull dump him
harsh i know
lol
sorry
but am i right?
main thing talk to him without nthe feelings and ********
thatkidd
Is it worth the painstaking effort to rekindle what is long extinguished?
Don't hold on to the relationship simply because of its longevity. If it isn't working, it isn't working.
Don't hold on to the relationship simply because of its longevity. If it isn't working, it isn't working.
It's so hard to let go. I don't know otherwise.
stepbak91
**** all u are about is feeling this feeling that.
what about if you sit him down, leave the ******** and feelings out of it and talk about the reality of the situation tell him sparks gone u dont like me and all that ****...and then hell be like i wuvvy duvvy luv u and then ull dump him
harsh i know
lol
sorry
but am i right?
main thing talk to him without nthe feelings and ********
what about if you sit him down, leave the ******** and feelings out of it and talk about the reality of the situation tell him sparks gone u dont like me and all that ****...and then hell be like i wuvvy duvvy luv u and then ull dump him
harsh i know
lol
sorry
but am i right?
main thing talk to him without nthe feelings and ********
Well if you can't tell someone how you really feel without them switching off is the relationship even worth a go?
Anonymous
Ive been with my boyfriend for a almost three years now and after about a year I experienced the same thing as you are now. It upset me a lot, as I'm quite an emotional person anyway. I was always obsessing about the fact that his texts were shorter, he wasnt being as lovey-dovey as he used to be etc etc, and when I brought it up with him he said he didn't even realise he was being any different. So after that I just let it go, accepted that this type of thing happens in long-term relationships and things have improved a lot You will find that the intensity of love will go up and down... like sometimes there will be a huge rush of love and a return to the long emotional texts and phone calls but then other times he won't bother. And that's fine, it's how it works - couples who have been together 30+ years probably don't spend all their time phoning each other whispering sweet nothings! After a while you're more comfortable in each other's love and you feel secure in that and therefore you don't need to make as much effort to let the other person know how much they mean to you, because you hope they already know.
As long as you're not too obsessive over this or too clingy, he probably doesn't even realise he's doing it!
But see how it goes. If he really isn't making an effort to do anything over an extended period of time then perhaps its time to have a rethink about the relationship.
You will find that the intensity of love will go up and down... like sometimes there will be a huge rush of love and a return to the long emotional texts and phone calls but then other times he won't bother. And that's fine, it's how it works - couples who have been together 30+ years probably don't spend all their time phoning each other whispering sweet nothings! After a while you're more comfortable in each other's love and you feel secure in that and therefore you don't need to make as much effort to let the other person know how much they mean to you, because you hope they already know.As long as you're not too obsessive over this or too clingy, he probably doesn't even realise he's doing it!
But see how it goes. If he really isn't making an effort to do anything over an extended period of time then perhaps its time to have a rethink about the relationship.
That's such good advice. I think I'm finding it hard to accept that he is not as attentive. Makes me feel like it will never be as romantic as the early days when we'd talk till the early hours of the morning or when he'd ask me loads of questions about myself. Now I'll be damned if he says "how are you today?"...
Anonymous
Ive been with my boyfriend for a almost three years now and after about a year I experienced the same thing as you are now. It upset me a lot, as I'm quite an emotional person anyway. I was always obsessing about the fact that his texts were shorter, he wasnt being as lovey-dovey as he used to be etc etc, and when I brought it up with him he said he didn't even realise he was being any different. So after that I just let it go, accepted that this type of thing happens in long-term relationships and things have improved a lot You will find that the intensity of love will go up and down... like sometimes there will be a huge rush of love and a return to the long emotional texts and phone calls but then other times he won't bother. And that's fine, it's how it works - couples who have been together 30+ years probably don't spend all their time phoning each other whispering sweet nothings! After a while you're more comfortable in each other's love and you feel secure in that and therefore you don't need to make as much effort to let the other person know how much they mean to you, because you hope they already know.
As long as you're not too obsessive over this or too clingy, he probably doesn't even realise he's doing it!
But see how it goes. If he really isn't making an effort to do anything over an extended period of time then perhaps its time to have a rethink about the relationship.
You will find that the intensity of love will go up and down... like sometimes there will be a huge rush of love and a return to the long emotional texts and phone calls but then other times he won't bother. And that's fine, it's how it works - couples who have been together 30+ years probably don't spend all their time phoning each other whispering sweet nothings! After a while you're more comfortable in each other's love and you feel secure in that and therefore you don't need to make as much effort to let the other person know how much they mean to you, because you hope they already know.As long as you're not too obsessive over this or too clingy, he probably doesn't even realise he's doing it!
But see how it goes. If he really isn't making an effort to do anything over an extended period of time then perhaps its time to have a rethink about the relationship.
This.
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