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Anyone else feel left out?

I’m half English and half Spanish.
My mother is Spanish, born and raised there, left to come to England to learn English at mid 20s.
My father born in England, at age 5 moved to Spain and went to boarding school there where he quickly learned Spanish. Met his best friend, my mother’s brother, and my mother in Spain. They travelled a lot when they met each other.
I was born in the Netherlands.
My parents talked to me in Spanish when I lived there as well as in Spain, was there from 2-3 years old. Then moved back to England and stayed here. When I went to nursery I would get made fun of for having a Spanish mother, teachers included. Comments would be made, they thought I would have to be held back a year without giving a reason, etc. So from then whenever my parents spoke to me in Spanish I would tell them not to, they stopped.
I’m not bilingual, only fluent in English. The main language spoken in my house is Spanish, my parents speak to each other always in Spanish. Sometimes my mother will speak to me in Spanish.
I can understand 90%-95% of what my parents say to me in Spanish. I barely talk to them in Spanish, I just can never remember the word in Spanish. My parents talk very proper English and Spanish.
Spanish films and whenever anyone other than my parents speak to me in Spanish I find it harder to understand what they are saying, it does discourage me a lot when I would try to learn Spanish.
Whenever we went to Spain to visit my family, both sides, I just always felt left out, they would have to speak English to me, even though most couldn’t really speak much. I would have to be with someone who could speak both just to go anywhere, it’s always felt embarrassing. I’ve just never really felt like I’m truly half Spanish and never feel like I can ever say it because I’m not fluent in it.
Would like to know if some people might fell similarly?
(edited 2 years ago)
I am English but I feel totally left out of everything at the moment and I am only 18 years old
Language can be a way of excluding people and your feelings are not a surprise. Could you start to learn Spanish, surely your mum would be supportive?
My maternal grandparents were Polish. They came to England after WW2, so my mother was born in England, but she was raised speaking Polish (she learned English at school).

My dad is French. All of his side of the family still lives in France.
I was also born in France.

I was brought to live in England when I was 3, and I forgot all my French (not that I had particularly sophisticated linguistic skills as a toddler anyway, obviously). I had to relearn it in school.

I don't speak French as fluently as English. I'm okay... I mean I got an A* in GCSE French, a B in A Level French, and I did it for a couple of years at uni (not amazing results, but passable), but I haven't been to France for 19 years so I don't have the opportunity to use it very often.
As for Polish, I'm rubbish at it. I've studied it a bit but I'm not good at it at all.

Why don't you brush up on your Spanish? Maybe there's a free Open Learn course (very likely) in Spanish that you could do. Or use DuoLingo perhaps.
Reply 4
Original post by mondays child
Language can be a way of excluding people and your feelings are not a surprise. Could you start to learn Spanish, surely your mum would be supportive?


I’m 17.
I’ve gone years were I would try to learn Spanish. My parents would try to speak to me in Spanish all of the time. I’m decent at reading Spanish and some listening and understanding of Spanish.
however, I lack a lot of the speaking part of Spanish and that always let me feeling like a failure and I would give up, along with not being able to understand Spanish films or even people in real life speaking Spanish. It really discouraged me and I would give up.
it’s the same cycle I’ve gone through my whole life once every year/two years.
in one of my summer holidays my parents are seeing if I could go to Spain for a couple weeks to see if it could help, since I wouldn’t be able to rely on English and I wouldn’t be able to give up, so to speak. I hope it will, because I really wish to be fluent in Spanish.
(edited 2 years ago)
Reply 5
Original post by PinkMobilePhone
My maternal grandparents were Polish. They came to England after WW2, so my mother was born in England, but she was raised speaking Polish (she learned English at school).

My dad is French. All of his side of the family still lives in France.
I was also born in France.

I was brought to live in England when I was 3, and I forgot all my French (not that I had particularly sophisticated linguistic skills as a toddler anyway, obviously). I had to relearn it in school.

I don't speak French as fluently as English. I'm okay... I mean I got an A* in GCSE French, a B in A Level French, and I did it for a couple of years at uni (not amazing results, but passable), but I haven't been to France for 19 years so I don't have the opportunity to use it very often.
As for Polish, I'm rubbish at it. I've studied it a bit but I'm not good at it at all.

Why don't you brush up on your Spanish? Maybe there's a free Open Learn course (very likely) in Spanish that you could do. Or use DuoLingo perhaps.


I’ve always tried to learn Spanish. My whole life I would go through times where I try to learn but I get so discouraged and feel like a failure that I give up. I do that once every year/2 years.
It just feels like I’m stuck in this cycle I can’t leave.

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