The Student Room Group

Am I crazy for being upset about my boyfriend liking girls insta pics?

So I’ve been feeling insecure and am trying to lose weight and saw on Instagram that my boyfriend has been liking photos of a couple of very slim girls in bikinis, sexy underwear etc.

The part I’m upset about is one of the girls lives in our area and he is Facebook friends with her, and the photos he’s liked are v sexy photos of her in a bra or a top with her nips clearly showing through it. Now if it was a celebrity I wouldn’t care, but the fact we could bump into her in Sainsbury’s makes me feel humiliated and angry!

Am I being dramatic?
Should I bring this up?
If yes how?

Thanks in advance, sorry for the rant <3

Scroll to see replies

No you’re not being dramatic, i feel like if you bring it up he’s gonna say you’re overreacting and that it means nothing but that’s so disrespectful to even like photos like that when he’s in a relationship. Bring it up if it is making you insecure!
Reply 2
Original post by succubus666
No you’re not being dramatic, i feel like if you bring it up he’s gonna say you’re overreacting and that it means nothing but that’s so disrespectful to even like photos like that when he’s in a relationship. Bring it up if it is making you insecure!

Yes that’s exactly it, the disrespect! And he knows I’m an insecure person, it just feels like a personal attack even though I’m sure that was never the intention.
Original post by Anonymous
Yes that’s exactly it, the disrespect! And he knows I’m an insecure person, it just feels like a personal attack even though I’m sure that was never the intention.

I think you should bring it up and tell him how it’s affecting you, if he reacts strangely and tries to dismiss your feelings then you can do way better
Reply 4
I think the fact that your boyfriend is liking pictures of other girls with better bodies than you is a sign that you need to work on your own insecurities if you want to keep his attention exclusively on you. Men are attracted to women with attractive bodies - that's not rocket science. If you want him to stay with you, you need to lose weight until you look as good as, if not better, than the girls he is looking at - or dump him. It's your choice.
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by asif007
I think the fact that your boyfriend is liking pictures of other girls with better bodies than you is a sign that you need to work on your own insecurities if you want to keep his attention exclusively on you. Men are attracted to women with attractive bodies - that's not rocket science. If you want him to stay with you, you need to lose weight until you look as good as, if not better, than the girls he is looking at - or dump him. It's your choice.


Excuse me? OP, don’t listen to this. Totally nonsense . Your boyfriend should love you for who you are, not your body weight.
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
Excuse me? OP, don’t listen to this. Totally nonsense . Your boyfriend should love you for who you are, not your body weight.

Thank you, I appreciate you 🤍
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
Excuse me? OP, don’t listen to this. Totally nonsense . Your boyfriend should love you for who you are, not your body weight.


If the roles were reversed and the guy got fat while the girl started liking pictures of other men on Insta, you would not be telling the girl to stay with a man she is not attracted to. You expect men to meet a certain standard of looks but think women should not. So it's about time that women learn to take some accountability for their own weight instead of blaming men for looking at more attractive options. I guarantee you this guy would not be looking at other girls if he was fully attracted to and happy with his main girl. Sounds to me like there is trouble in paradise but someone just wants to shift the blame without accepting their own failures. Typical behaviour of most modern day women.
Original post by Anonymous
So I’ve been feeling insecure and am trying to lose weight and saw on Instagram that my boyfriend has been liking photos of a couple of very slim girls in bikinis, sexy underwear etc.

The part I’m upset about is one of the girls lives in our area and he is Facebook friends with her, and the photos he’s liked are v sexy photos of her in a bra or a top with her nips clearly showing through it. Now if it was a celebrity I wouldn’t care, but the fact we could bump into her in Sainsbury’s makes me feel humiliated and angry!

Am I being dramatic?
Should I bring this up?
If yes how?

Thanks in advance, sorry for the rant <3

Likes are meaningless... it's a tap on a screen, hardly means much. I do it without thinking.
Either way, there's nothing wrong with finding others attractive during a relationship, it's inevitable. So I don't understand the issue here... and liking pictures is very minor.
@asif007 is correct.
Original post by asif007
If the roles were reversed and the guy got fat while the girl started liking pictures of other men on Insta, you would not be telling the girl to stay with a man she is not attracted to. You expect men to meet a certain standard of looks but think women should not. So it's about time that women learn to take some accountability for their own weight instead of blaming men for looking at more attractive options. I guarantee you this guy would not be looking at other girls if he was fully attracted to and happy with his main girl. Sounds to me like there is trouble in paradise but someone just wants to shift the blame without accepting their own failures. Typical behaviour of most modern day women.


If my boyfriend would get fat while I’m in a relationship with him, I wouldn’t stop liking him or make him feel bad about it. You’re supposed to love your partner no matter what, and if you’re saying the weight of your partner would put you off then I hope you never get into a relationship. If he feels like she’s gaining unhealthy weight , he can talk to her about it nicely and suggest some options to improve, not making jokes. I doubt the girl would have an issue with that, personally I wouldn’t as he’s just looking out for me. But if my boyfriend suddenly stopped liking me just because I put on weight, do I really wanna be with someone like that?

So no, if roles were reversed, I would love my man unconditionally, no matter his weight. If a girl stops liking her man because he gained weight, then my point still stands, it is not love and he should drop her.
Original post by asif007
I think the fact that your boyfriend is liking pictures of other girls with better bodies than you is a sign that you need to work on your own insecurities if you want to keep his attention exclusively on you. Men are attracted to women with attractive bodies - that's not rocket science. If you want him to stay with you, you need to lose weight until you look as good as, if not better, than the girls he is looking at - or dump him. It's your choice.

Wow
Original post by Anonymous
If my boyfriend would get fat while I’m in a relationship with him, I wouldn’t stop liking him or make him feel bad about it. You’re supposed to love your partner no matter what, and if you’re saying the weight of your partner would put you off then I hope you never get into a relationship. If he feels like she’s gaining unhealthy weight , he can talk to her about it nicely and suggest some options to improve, not making jokes. I doubt the girl would have an issue with that, personally I wouldn’t as he’s just looking out for me. But if my boyfriend suddenly stopped liking me just because I put on weight, do I really wanna be with someone like that?

So no, if roles were reversed, I would love my man unconditionally, no matter his weight. If a girl stops liking her man because he gained weight, then my point still stands, it is not love and he should drop her.


I agree with the part in bold. He deserves better and can find someone he is more attracted to. That is the only way girls will learn how to take some accountability for their weight - when boyfriends drop them. People who stay fat and do not lose weight are the ones who will find it harder to move on to someone else - that applies to both genders, not just men. Girls who pretend that attraction is not important to men when female sexual selection strategy prioritises looks first, personality later are living in denial. "Do I really want to be with someone like that" is just cope to cover up the fact that loss of attractiveness gets you dumped. If a man dumps a woman because of her weight, it is his right to do so while the girl can carry on lying to herself that she had a choice in the matter.
Original post by Anonymous
If my boyfriend would get fat while I’m in a relationship with him, I wouldn’t stop liking him or make him feel bad about it. You’re supposed to love your partner no matter what, and if you’re saying the weight of your partner would put you off then I hope you never get into a relationship. If he feels like she’s gaining unhealthy weight , he can talk to her about it nicely and suggest some options to improve, not making jokes. I doubt the girl would have an issue with that, personally I wouldn’t as he’s just looking out for me. But if my boyfriend suddenly stopped liking me just because I put on weight, do I really wanna be with someone like that?

So no, if roles were reversed, I would love my man unconditionally, no matter his weight. If a girl stops liking her man because he gained weight, then my point still stands, it is not love and he should drop her.

You would probably stop liking him because most people require their partner not to be fat to be sexually attracted to them. Fat is a turnoff so I see why OP's bf appears more interested in other girls...
Nobody would really love their partner no matter what, that's more of an ideal... reality is different.
Attraction is required in a relationship and if that no longer is present, the relationship won't last...

It is much easier to claim that one would unconditionally love their partner than to actually do so...
(edited 2 years ago)
Nah it's kinda disrespectful if you don't like it
Original post by sufys12
You would probably stop liking him because most people require their partner not to be fat to be sexually attracted to them. Fat is a turnoff so I see why OP's bf appears more interested in other girls...
Nobody would really love their partner no matter what, that's more of an ideal... reality is different.
Attraction is required in a relationship and if that no longer is present, the relationship won't last...

It is much easier to claim that one would unconditionally love their partner than to actually do so...


Exactly. Extremely well said. So many of these girls are in such furious denial of the facts and think they can fool men with their lies when we have been watching their actual behaviour for generations. It's very easy for girls to say unconditional love exists when in practise most women do not love unconditionally at all. Any lecture from Dr Jordan Peterson will tell you the psychology behind this.
Original post by asif007
I think the fact that your boyfriend is liking pictures of other girls with better bodies than you is a sign that you need to work on your own insecurities if you want to keep his attention exclusively on you. Men are attracted to women with attractive bodies - that's not rocket science. If you want him to stay with you, you need to lose weight until you look as good as, if not better, than the girls he is looking at - or dump him. It's your choice.


So basically you're the male equivalent of the women who leave their partner and are insensitive towards them if they gain weight? I hope you find a woman just like yourself.

My ex did actually gain weight while we were together, did I like it? No, I dont think anyone would like it unless they had some sort of fetish. Did it affect the relationship? No. He wanted to lose weight himself and I encouraged him because its what he wanted, I loved him to pieces and weight gain wasnt going to make that go away.

I love how these men talk about double standards and use it to be rude to other people who have nothing to do with anything lol. Check yourself
Original post by asif007
Exactly. Extremely well said. So many of these girls are in such furious denial of the facts and think they can fool men with their lies when we have been watching their actual behaviour for generations. It's very easy for girls to say unconditional love exists when in practise most women do not love unconditionally at all. Any lecture from Dr Jordan Peterson will tell you the psychology behind this.


LOL, dude if I wanted to convince myself all men are rapists and pedos because of "generations" i could easily do that too, but there's such thing called "Common sense" no "Intelligence".
Original post by Anonymous
LOL, dude if I wanted to convince myself all men are rapists and pedos because of "generations" i could easily do that too, but there's such thing called "Common sense" no "Intelligence".


Except we are talking about non-coercive sex between consenting adults here, not rape. If you want to go off on a tangent and talk about rapists and paedophiles, start your own separate thread. Yes I agree, common sense is very much lacking in your response.
Original post by asif007
Except we are talking about non-coercive sex between consenting adults here, not rape. If you want to go off on a tangent and talk about rapists and paedophiles, start your own separate thread. Yes I agree, common sense is very much lacking in your response.


It looks like you're just slow. You literally just spoke about how women would do this or that, made assumptions based off of what you CHOOSE to pay attention to in society and said "I'm going to do the same" because if it were turned around women would respond like that

So basically, you generalised all women to a certain behaviour. In that sense, I can also do that about men. The amount of women I've known that have faced some sort of sexual harassment or abuse whether jt was as children or grown women is disgusting. So ny your example I should be able to assume all men are pedos or just predators of some sort behind the scenes. Your logic is just as stupid and pathetic.
Original post by Anonymous
It looks like you're just slow. You literally just spoke about how women would do this or that, made assumptions based off of what you CHOOSE to pay attention to in society and said "I'm going to do the same" because if it were turned around women would respond like that

So basically, you generalised all women to a certain behaviour. In that sense, I can also do that about men. The amount of women I've known that have faced some sort of sexual harassment or abuse whether jt was as children or grown women is disgusting. So ny your example I should be able to assume all men are pedos or just predators of some sort behind the scenes. Your logic is just as stupid and pathetic.


Nah, it looks like you just don't know when to back down and take the L. Everything I say about women is based on experiences of men who will back me up. I don't really care if you want to try and make a feeble attempt to paint all men as rapists and paedophiles, because I know that's BS. What I'm talking about here is beyond your level of understanding. People like you are unaware that women control access to sex, but you think it's appropriate to absolve women of responsibility for the men they choose out of their own free will for consensual sex, not rape like I already mentioned.

Latest

Trending

Trending