Was I drugged/assaulted by coworkers?? PLEASE anyone give me some advice

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bluebluel9
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#1
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#1
Hey everyone so i know this forum is meant for students, i’m not a student but couldn’t think of where else to post to get advice.

Basically, i had a work xmas party at the end of december last year, let me just start it by saying that my workplace (worked there for a number of years now) has never followed normal rules when it comes to how staff behave and professionalism, though things have gotten a lot better and much more professional in the last year or two but it’s still not a normal workplace despite being in the financial sector and very successful.

Anyway, i work in an office of mostly only men, i am in my late 20s and female, with a bmi of like 18 and we had a fancy Christmas party, I felt like my reaction to the amount of alcohol i had was somewhat extreme, from what i remember i had like 2 or 3 full glasses of wine slowly (i cannot drink wine quickly without gagging anyway, i find alcohol does make me sick very easily but i found my reaction was still ott) and like 2 shots of sambucca and like a few sips of a porn star martini that they gave everyone.

At first, i remember feeling extremely buzzed and extremely energetic wheras usually i don’t feel this hyper when i drink, but i seemed to feel super buzzed, i remember being extremely extremely happy which is odd for me because i have recently been going through a very severe depression privately which has included a lot of self harm and crying a lot. But i felt extremely happy and like i wanted to hug EVERYONE, even people i do not like when sober or get on with, i was sat next to them hugging them. I remember being in different locations of the bar/restaurant sat next to different male coworkers with my arm around them not remembering how i got there. Then finally i remember being stood infront of my office crush after telling my other coworker please to find him for me so i could confess my feelings, and another coworker who i also used to have a crush on, i remember both of them looking extremely blurry, and i remember at this point feeling very nauseous but not mentioning it, i remember confessing to my crush how fit i think he is and complimenting him over and over, then grabbing the hand of the other coworker and teling him emotionally how happy i am to work with him again (we where separated a few years). After this all i remember is things went blurry and i remember being on the floor i believe and i think i was passing out or throwing up and i remember the guy who’s hand i had grabbed shouting my name, he sounded very afraid and like he was panicking and trying to help me sober up or something. I was still in the restaurant at this point i am fairly sure, i remember being so out of it and thinking to myself why is he making such a fuss and panicking, i feel great! Even though i was laying on the floor not aware of what was actually going on around me.

That is the last thing i remember, i believe this was sometime in the evening, i had arrived at the party at like 7.30 or something, so perhaps this was like 10pm but i honestly do not know.


The next thing i remember i woke up in the hospital in the morning, i can’t remember what time but i think it was anywhere between 6am -8am. I still felt completely out of it with no clue what had happened, i felt extremely unsteady still and was sick like 4 or 5 times in the hospital that morning. I asked the nurse what happened, she said you got drunk and threw up, i accepted this and thought oh goodness how embarrassing. She then told me i have to leave now asap to make way for the other patients despite me still throwing up and i stumbled to the toilet and fell asleep on the floor to buy me time, as i felt too sick to leave. In the end she told me she will get security to make me leave and that i’m just hungover and need to go home and sleep. I stumbled off still somewhat confused with 2 security guards, who did in fairness look very sympathetic in comparison to the nurse, and noticed my tights , which had been totally ladder free when the night started, where ripped all over, front to back in numerous locations. My tailbone/buttocks was also extremely sore, for a week or two after i could not sleep comfortably and kept waking up at night because of the pain, i’m assuming it must have come from a fall. There was no pain anywhere in my private area or my anal area (sorry if tmi!). All my possessions where with me including a clothes shopping bag i had handed into the restaurant when i arrived, i didn’t remember collecting either so someone from staff in the restaurant must have given it to me or someone who took me home. My coat was covered in sick ALL over and i don’t remember ever putting it on again. On the uber home from the hospital i threw up twice again and then numerous times again when i got home and my chest pounded like crazy and it felt like i was having crazy palpitations the first 10 hours at home or so.


From what i have now been told by coworkers was that i was not passed out and had walked quite well into an uber with one of the female receptionists and 3 male coworkers (including the one who had said my name worriedly), i was then told by her (though she said she is not certain as she said she was really drunk herself) that i was dropped off last by the uber but i had been sat still and calmly next to them but she thinks i may have been sick but she wasn’t sure, and that the uber driver phoned her and couldn’t get me out the car to my address as i was passed out/and or vomiting and that apparently there was another man there also on the phone who was a ‘friend’ of the driver and that they said they where going to call an ambulance for me.

I am very confused by this story and whenever i ask any male coworkers they they seem to want to change the topic quickly and say they barely remember anything from the night, i asked another coworker did he know what happened and i told him i woke up in hospital the next morning and he didn’t seem to sound particularly concerned, he said oh everyone got so wasted! You should have seen one of the other guys he was sooo wasted. Then when i later mentioned to him i was a bit worried maybe something was wrong with my drink he became really defensive and said no way would ANYONE here do that to you!! And he said he left early but that nothing bad happened to me and no one did anything bad to me kind of defensively.

i’m really confused now whether i am being paranoid and wrong for feeling concerned that something might have happened to me - a lot (majority of these guys) visit prostiutes weekly and i know a few of them take drugs every now and then, and although they are always very polite and respectful towards me i am still concerned and confused about it all but i don’t want to believe any of them would have done something that could have harmed me. i don’t personally believe i was raped because i don’t have any pain down there but the fact my tights where so ripped all over is confusing to me and i was pondering if maybe someone might have touched me but i don’t remember anything of the sort.

If anyone could give me any advice on whether this is just typical drunkness or whether it was likely someone slipped something in my drink i’d be really greatful. I am definitely not pregnant as my period came as usual. I do not plan to report it to the police if it turned out anything did happen but i want to know what happened for peace of mind and will speak to the restaurant about cctv and try to get a hold of the ambulance call if possible.
Last edited by bluebluel9; 1 week ago
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londonmyst
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#2
Report 1 week ago
#2
It is impossible for a random TSR users to know one way or the other whether one or all of the drinks were spiked with an illegal drug/other noxious substance.
They might have been.
Did the hospital run any blood tests on you?
Or on any other coworkers that had a drink at that party.

Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you.
If you get a very bad vibe from a specific coworker, be on your guard.
A lot of people find it entertaining to spike other people's drinks for a laugh, not realising that doing so is a serious crime that can result in them eating prison food or having their names on the sexual offenders register for many years.
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username5585736
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#3
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#3
From what i’ve read, I don’t think anyone did anything to you. I actually think you might have been completely safe. Ending up at the hospital was because you were so drunk people got afraid for you.

Sounds more like you finally had a night to de-stress after the depressive period and now that you are back down to earth the same thought patterns of doubt and fear are coming back and clouding your judgment

Would an assaultant really be seen in a public zone w you? anyone can pose witness to their involvement w you and be traced

The uber people calling your friend is again a trace to them, so they wouldn’t have done anything to you either. My gut says you are fine and that your gut is thinking of the worst (even i’m trying not to think of the worst right now as i keep re-thinking the parts i’ve read - i’m sure nobody tried anything!
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Ciel.
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#4
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#4
(Original post by bluebluel9)
Hey everyone so i know this forum is meant for students, i’m not a student but couldn’t think of where else to post to get advice.

Basically, i had a work xmas party at the end of december last year, let me just start it by saying that my workplace (worked there for a number of years now) has never followed normal rules when it comes to how staff behave and professionalism, though things have gotten a lot better and much more professional in the last year or two but it’s still not a normal workplace despite being in the financial sector and very successful.

Anyway, i work in an office of mostly only men, i am in my late 20s and female, with a bmi of like 18 and we had a fancy Christmas party, I felt like my reaction to the amount of alcohol i had was somewhat extreme, from what i remember i had like 2 or 3 full glasses of wine slowly (i cannot drink wine quickly without gagging anyway, i find alcohol does make me sick very easily but i found my reaction was still ott) and like 2 shots of sambucca and like a few sips of a porn star martini that they gave everyone.

At first, i remember feeling extremely buzzed and extremely energetic wheras usually i don’t feel this hyper when i drink, but i seemed to feel super buzzed, i remember being extremely extremely happy which is odd for me because i have recently been going through a very severe depression privately which has included a lot of self harm and crying a lot. But i felt extremely happy and like i wanted to hug EVERYONE, even people i do not like when sober or get on with, i was sat next to them hugging them. I remember being in different locations of the bar/restaurant sat next to different male coworkers with my arm around them not remembering how i got there. Then finally i remember being stood infront of my office crush after telling my other coworker please to find him for me so i could confess my feelings, and another coworker who i also used to have a crush on, i remember both of them looking extremely blurry, and i remember at this point feeling very nauseous but not mentioning it, i remember confessing to my crush how fit i think he is and complimenting him over and over, then grabbing the hand of the other coworker and teling him emotionally how happy i am to work with him again (we where separated a few years). After this all i remember is things went blurry and i remember being on the floor i believe and i think i was passing out or throwing up and i remember the guy who’s hand i had grabbed shouting my name, he sounded very afraid and like he was panicking and trying to help me sober up or something. I was still in the restaurant at this point i am fairly sure, i remember being so out of it and thinking to myself why is he making such a fuss and panicking, i feel great! Even though i was laying on the floor not aware of what was actually going on around me.

That is the last thing i remember, i believe this was sometime in the evening, i had arrived at the party at like 7.30 or something, so perhaps this was like 10pm but i honestly do not know.


The next thing i remember i woke up in the hospital in the morning, i can’t remember what time but i think it was anywhere between 6am -8am. I still felt completely out of it with no clue what had happened, i felt extremely unsteady still and was sick like 4 or 5 times in the hospital that morning. I asked the nurse what happened, she said you got drunk and threw up, i accepted this and thought oh goodness how embarrassing. She then told me i have to leave now asap to make way for the other patients despite me still throwing up and i stumbled to the toilet and fell asleep on the floor to buy me time, as i felt too sick to leave. In the end she told me she will get security to make me leave and that i’m just hungover and need to go home and sleep. I stumbled off still somewhat confused, and noticed my tights , which had been totally ladder free when the night started, where ripped all over, front to back in numerous locations. My tailbone/buttocks was also extremely sore, for a week or two after i could not sleep comfortably and kept waking up at night because of the pain, i’m assuming it must have come from a fall. There was no pain anywhere in my private area or my anal area (sorry if tmi!). All my possessions where with me including a clothes shopping bag i had handed into the restaurant when i arrived, i didn’t remember collecting either so someone from staff in the restaurant must have given it to me or someone who took me home. My coat was covered in sick ALL over and i don’t remember ever putting it on again. On the uber home from the hospital i threw up twice again and then numerous times again when i got home and my chest pounded like crazy and it felt like i was having crazy palpitations the first 10 hours at home or so.


From what i have now been told by coworkers was that i was not passed out and had walked quite well into an uber with one of the female receptionists and 3 male coworkers (including the one who had said my name worriedly), i was then told by her (though she said she is not certain as she said she was really drunk herself) that i was dropped off last by the uber but i had been sat still and calmly next to them but she thinks i may have been sick but she wasn’t sure, and that the uber driver phoned her and couldn’t get me out the car to my address as i was passed out/and or vomiting and that apparently there was another man there also on the phone who was a ‘friend’ of the driver and that they said they where going to call an ambulance for me.

I am very confused by this story and whenever i ask any male coworkers they they seem to want to change the topic quickly and say they barely remember anything from the night, i asked another coworker did he know what happened and i told him i woke up in hospital the next morning and he didn’t seem to sound particularly concerned, he said oh everyone got so wasted! You should have seen one of the other guys he was sooo wasted. Then when i later mentioned to him i was a bit worried maybe something was wrong with my drink he became really defensive and said no way would ANYONE here do that to you!! And he said he left early but that nothing bad happened to me and no one did anything bad to me kind of defensively.

i’m really confused now whether i am being paranoid and wrong for feeling concerned that something might have happened to me - a lot (majority of these guys) visit prostiutes weekly and i know a few of them take drugs every now and then, and although they are always very polite and respectful towards me i am still concerned and confused about it all but i don’t want to believe any of them would have done something that could have harmed me. i don’t personally believe i was raped because i don’t have any pain down there but the fact my tights where so ripped all over is confusing to me and i was pondering if maybe someone might have touched me but i don’t remember anything of the sort.

If anyone could give me any advice on whether this is just typical drunkness or whether it was likely someone slipped something in my drink i’d be really greatful. I am definitely not pregnant as my period came as usual. I do not plan to report it to the police if it turned out anything did happen but i want to know what happened for peace of mind and will speak to the restaurant about cctv and try to get a hold of the ambulance call if possible.
it doesn't sound like it tbh. typical 'date rape' drugs have usually a different effect. they sort of just make you blank out completely. you remember nothing. unless it was something else, like a small dose of benzos but it's not really common to use them for that
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bluebluel9
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#5
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#5
(Original post by Ciel.)
it doesn't sound like it tbh. typical 'date rape' drugs have usually a different effect. they sort of just make you blank out completely. you remember nothing. unless it was something else, like a small dose of benzos but it's not really common to use them for that
i mean i do not remember anything from around 9pm to like 8am the next day, like ANYTHING. And like i mentioned, my workplace is not a normal workplace and there has been a decent amount of corruption and sexual harassment i have witnessed and dealt with (not personally recently although there is often talk about visiting prostiutes as a group and vulgar sexual conversations, one guy also remarked about how much better prostutes are when trafficked younger, it has become a part of the office culture for them to visit prostitutes as a group very regularly) over the years as well as a good amount of violence between men in the office when i first stated. there was even a guy who got naked in my first month in the office for money for his cocaine addiction, and made out with a frozen turkey, as well as an older guy (30s) who was having relationships with young underage guys (like 17) in exchange for money. Things hve drastically improved over the years but like i said it’s not a normal work environment in some aspect. i am scared that there has been perhaps some type of cover up about what happened to me because of al the crazy stuff i have seen happen before - i just find it odd that i remember collapsing to the floor and everything going blurry hearing a panicked colleague shouting my name over and over, and remembering nothing after, then being told i was not unconscious and that i walked to the uber, by someone who changed their story slightly twice…idk it just seems odd
Last edited by bluebluel9; 1 week ago
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Ciel.
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#6
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#6
(Original post by bluebluel9)
i mean i do not remember anything from around 9pm to like 8am the next day, like ANYTHING. And like i mentioned, my workplace is not a normal workplace and there has been a decent amount of corruption and sexual harassment i have witnessed and dealt with (not personally recently although there is often talk about visiting prostiutes as a group and vulgar sexual conversations, one guy also remarked about how much better prostutes are when trafficked younger, it has become a part of the office culture for them to visit prostitutes as a group very regularly) over the years as well as a good amount of violence between men in the office when i first stated. there was even a guy who got naked in my first month in the office for money for his cocaine addiction, and made out with a frozen turkey, as well as an older guy (30s) who was having relationships with young underage guys (like 17) in exchange for money. Things hve drastically improved over the years but like i said it’s not a normal work environment in some aspect. i am scared that there has been perhaps some type of cover up about what happened to me because of al the crazy stuff i have seen happen before - i just find it odd that i remember collapsing to the floor and everything going blurry hearing a panicked colleague shouting my name over and over, and remembering nothing after, then being told i was not unconscious and that i walked to the uber, by someone who changed their story slightly twice…idk it just seems odd
sounds pretty messed up.. were you physically ok tho, like was your body ok, or did you feel sore or anything? were your clothes damaged in any way? any marks on your underwear? (no need to post your answers btw, we don't need to know.)
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bluebluel9
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Ciel.)
sounds pretty messed up.. were you physically ok tho, like was your body ok, or did you feel sore or anything? were your clothes damaged in any way? any marks on your underwear? (no need to post your answers btw, we don't need to know.)
nope i had no pain at all down there, but my tights (which where rather thin tights but still) had gone from totally new and non laddered at the start of the night, to completely laddered all over afterwards in different places from like nearly top to bottom, which made me wonder if they had been removed and then put back on perhaps?!! Or was someone drunkenly trying too. remove them or was holding on to them?! But i would really hope not! but i just can’t see how i could have ripped them so badly unless i would have been racing around or something which i do not remember doing! I also had really bad soreness on my tailbone/butt (not my anus, sorry if tmi!) which i think must have come from what must have been quite a bad fall/falls, the only time i remember being on the floor was that last memory of the night i had on the restaurant floor, but i didn’t remember being in any pain whatsoever at that point.
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Trinculo
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#8
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#8
You have been treated very badly by the NHS. This does not surprise me.
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bluebluel9
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#9
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#9
(Original post by Trinculo)
You have been treated very badly by the NHS. This does not surprise me.
yes I was in such a daze and confused by the nurse trying to shuffle me out, i wish i could have been tested for drugs or that she could have explained to me in more detail what happened, or treated me with more empathy, i felt like i was being treated like a massive drunken hungover slg by her when the truth is I never take drugs or sleep around and i don’t often drink
Last edited by bluebluel9; 1 week ago
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Ciel.
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#10
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#10
(Original post by bluebluel9)
nope i had no pain at all down there, but my tights (which where rather thin tights but still) had gone from totally new and non laddered at the start of the night, to completely laddered all over afterwards in different places from like nearly top to bottom, which made me wonder if they had been removed and then put back on perhaps?!! Or was someone drunkenly trying too. remove them or was holding on to them?! But i would really hope not! but i just can’t see how i could have ripped them so badly unless i would have been racing around or something which i do not remember doing! I also had really bad soreness on my tailbone/butt (not my anus, sorry if tmi!) which i think must have come from what must have been quite a bad fall/falls, the only time i remember being on the floor was that last memory of the night i had on the restaurant floor, but i didn’t remember being in any pain whatsoever at that point.
i see. sounds like a really terrible experience. not sure what to advise you. maybe get yourself tested in a couple weeks just to be sure you're ok
(Original post by bluebluel9)
yes I was in such a daze and confused by the nurse trying to shuffle me out, i wish i could have been tested for drugs or that she could have explained to me in more detail what happened, or treated me with more empathy, i felt like i was being treated like a massive drunken hungover slg by her when the truth is I never take drugs or sleep around and i don’t often drink
the sad thing is, drugs like ghb take like 2-4h to be out of your system so by the time most people find themselves seeking help, it's too late to prove it. sometimes it doesn't even show up on tests
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username5889736
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#11
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#11
Sounds like you were sexually assaulted
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