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I like my friends ex

Right, so I've got myself into a complicated situation.

Me and my best friend's ex (lets call him Ben) have been friends for ages and were friends throughout him and my best friend (lets call her Sophie)'s relationship.

Recently they went through a break up and are done for good. Me and Ben have always been a bit flirty but it's amplified a lot since the break up. We ended up kissing a couple nights ago (not my best moment). Sophie hasn't been the best friend to me, shes pretty toxic and made me pretty depressed and always felt left out and to be honest, I wouldn't mind losing her as a friend.

I always liked Ben but when her and Ben started dating I respected their relationship and took a step back. However, because of me and Ben more recently I'm worried that Sophie is going to find out and we are going to lose our friendship; if she does find out, the friendship will most definitely be over.

Me, Sophie and our other friend in our trio (lets call her Abbie) are planning on going on holiday soon. And I'm worried that Sophie is going to see my phone and realise that me and Ben are talking a lot. It's not odd for us to talk as she knows were still friends even though them two have broken up, and she told me it makes her uncomfortable :/.

Anyway, the problem is I don't want to lose her because her and Abbie are closer in the friendship and I know that if it comes out about me and Ben that I will lose Abbie, which is the last thing I want. Also the fact that I have no other friends at my school to sit with at lunch and stuff lmao.

So i'm not really sure what to do. I don't want to lose what me and Ben have but at the same time I don't want to lose Abbie or Sophie. I'm honestly very confused about this entire situation. pleaseeee help and be kind, i am fragile lmfao

Reply 1

Laurenalexa.x

You started getting flirty with her ex without even asking her beforehand if she would mind? But you know that the fact that your even friends makes her uncomfortable. She can't dictate who you're friends with HOWEVER when it comes to "talking" to or making out with your best friends ex I think she deserves to know. You messed up. Which is fine, it isn't the end of the world and everyone makes mistakes and you're not a horrible person pls don't bully yourself. You said that she's toxic, sorta feels like you're saying that to make yourself feel better. Just because she isn't the nicest person doesn't mean she deserves to feel betrayed by her best friend. But I completely understand your situation and how difficult it can be. I'd start by talking to Ben about what he wants. Does he want to be with you or is he just flirting for fun with no real intentions. Go from there and decide if continuing whatever is going on is worth it or not :smile: