Government announces that LFTs are no longer necessary for poor people. *FAKE NEWS*

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Cancelled Alice
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#1
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#1
A government spokesman has revealed that after a comprehensive review of the evidence, including social media usage data, the conclusion that ‘COVID is a disease which is exclusive to the middle class’ has been drawn. This is ‘good news [for the tax payer] as free lateral flow tests are no longer justifiable. If you can afford to buy a coffee on the way to work, you need to test’.

This is currently, at this point in time *FAKE NEWS*.
Last edited by Cancelled Alice; 1 week ago
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Cancelled Alice
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Almost, unfortunately.

https://news.sky.com/story/covid-mic...weeks-12512861
‘Michael Gove refuses to deny free lateral flow tests will be phased out in the coming weeks’
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0ptics
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#3
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(Original post by Cancelled Alice)
Did you really just believe me?
Yes, yes I did. I don’t watch the news.
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Cancelled Alice
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(Original post by 0ptics)
Yes, yes I did. I don’t watch the news.
It’s terrible that the above title is believable. I believe we may have been infiltrated by those damn Americans.
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hungrysalamander
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Outrageous, we need 25 hour school days to repair the damages of COVID to education!
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0ptics
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(Original post by Cancelled Alice)
It’s terrible that the above title is believable. I believe we may have been infiltrated by those damn Americans.
Being around americans for too long makes you lose brain cells, confirmed. Incidentally, being anon for too long also makes you lose brain cells. Want to confirm on the latter statement, sal?
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hungrysalamander
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(Original post by 0ptics)
Being around americans for too long makes you lose brain cells, confirmed. Incidentally, being anon for too long also makes you lose brain cells. Want to confirm on the latter statement, sal?
I can confirm both statements tbh.
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Cancelled Alice
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Cancelled Alice
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(Original post by hungrysalamander)
I can confirm both statements tbh.
So basically you’ve given yourself a hangover. Please don’t spend too much time in anon, we’d miss you
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hungrysalamander
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#10
(Original post by Cancelled Alice)
So basically you’ve given yourself a hangover. Please don’t spend too much time in anon, we’d miss you
Unlikely given how I don't drink. I only use anon in this thread and it was 0ptics' idea.
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0ptics
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(Original post by hungrysalamander)
Unlikely given how I don't drink. I only use anon in this thread and it was 0ptics' idea.
Yep. BTW, @alice, the cool anons are there, just saying. Also, this idea further stemmed into another thread called anon world. Yeah, it’s a weird anon binge.
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hungrysalamander
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(Original post by 0ptics)
Yep. BTW, @alice, the cool anons are there, just saying. Also, this idea further stemmed into another thread called anon world. Yeah, it’s a weird anon binge.
She can be anon 22
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ROTL94 2
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Well, she is an expert on school yard bullying so this new appointment does make a degree of sense.
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0ptics
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(Original post by hungrysalamander)
She can be anon 22
A nice even number. It’s also divisible by 11. I think this would be a good outcome after all.
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Cancelled Alice
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(Original post by hungrysalamander)
Unlikely given how I don't drink. I only use anon in this thread and it was 0ptics' idea.
Yeah I meant in the sense that Americans leave you with a sore head and bad ears.
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hungrysalamander
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(Original post by Cancelled Alice)
Yeah I meant in the sense that Americans leave you with a sore head and bad ears.
You don't want to hear about the American who attempted to slide into my PM's.
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Cancelled Alice
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(Original post by hungrysalamander)
She can be anon 22
Oooh I’ll go and bagsy my spot. Thanks for the invite
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Cancelled Alice
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#18
(Original post by hungrysalamander)
You don't want to hear about the American who attempted to slide into my PM's.
Maybe I do…..
that does sound scary though
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wifd149
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11 hours school days will beat those intense Asian schools with evening classes.
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Quady
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(Original post by Cancelled Alice)
…. In an effort to repair the damage that COVID has inflicted on children’s education. Teachers unions to fight back.
Is this start from September or like Easter?
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