So lonely at uni

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
I go to the university of Leicester and it’s been okay. I don’t spend many days on campus just because of how my schedule is set up. I’ve been enjoying my course although it is difficult. Overall though I’ve been so lonely. I haven’t made any good friends or connected with anyone. I took all the advice, joined societies and group chats, talked to my flat mates and was super sociable with the people on my course. But it’s been so difficult and it’s been tainting my whole experience. It feels like everybody had already slipped into their groups, now it’s semester two and I feel quite hopeless. I struggled in school to make friends but did eventually and ended up making great friends in every class at school. I feel like it’s just me, I am quiet but I do try and I have periods where I’m very confident. Honestly, despite how much I’ve been enjoying my course I’m thinking of dropping out and coming back in maybe a year. So I’m honestly looking for advice or for someone to tell me what I should do to make friends or just drop out.
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Anonymous #2
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If you enjoy your course, I wouldn't drop out. A lot of students feel this way at the beginning but it always gets better! Maybe try appreciating this time you have alone and using it wisely. You will make friends eventually, as long as you put the effort in
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De Montfort University
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#3
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Hey,

Just to offer some reassurance, I was in the exact situation as you back in my 1st Year. I was very sociable with my coursemates, I took part in various societies and sports clubs; yet I didn't really connect with anyone.

My luck started to change mid way through 2nd semester. The people around me that I spoke with eventually got comfortable and slowly but surely we hung out more.

The key for me was being persistent - greeting them whenever I saw them and asking how they were. I spoke about this with my friends recently, as we reminisced about our 1st Year, they honestly appreciated me actively engaging with them as they felt quite shy back then.

I hope this helps!
- Jesse, 3rd Year Animation Student
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Anonymous #3
#4
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Yeah I’m in a similar position too as the people who I did put effort into have all dropped out over Christmas and I haven’t joined any societies too as I feel it’s too late to join them and I don’t exactly want to show up to a bar crawl by myself in February as that’s the only social most of them have.
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hallamstudents
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#5
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I go to the university of Leicester and it’s been okay. I don’t spend many days on campus just because of how my schedule is set up. I’ve been enjoying my course although it is difficult. Overall though I’ve been so lonely. I haven’t made any good friends or connected with anyone. I took all the advice, joined societies and group chats, talked to my flat mates and was super sociable with the people on my course. But it’s been so difficult and it’s been tainting my whole experience. It feels like everybody had already slipped into their groups, now it’s semester two and I feel quite hopeless. I struggled in school to make friends but did eventually and ended up making great friends in every class at school. I feel like it’s just me, I am quiet but I do try and I have periods where I’m very confident. Honestly, despite how much I’ve been enjoying my course I’m thinking of dropping out and coming back in maybe a year. So I’m honestly looking for advice or for someone to tell me what I should do to make friends or just drop out.
Hi there, I completely get what you're going through. I feel like I've only just found my true friends and I'm in my third year of uni. University is often portrayed as this time when you meet people who are exactly like you and your social life becomes perfect but that is totally inaccurate for most people. In first year there is a lot of loneliness, boredom and alienation (not trying to sugar coat anything here ). A lot of it is just down to luck unfortunately- who you live with in your first year, who your course mates are etc, you can't choose them and its rare and lucky if you just fall into your perfect friendship group instantly.
However, you just have to keep trying. If you dropped out now and started again next year, its likely the situation won't have changed and you'll feel worse. I now view my university experience as a time where I learned a lot about the different kind of people out there, what they can bring to my life and vice versa. It doesn't have to be the time in which you forge life long friendships, but it is a time for personal development so its great that you have been putting in the effort to socialise. I hope you feel that your efforts aren't wasted and that you're a stronger person for it. So, overall I would recommend sticking at it, it is hard but you will come out a stronger person and you will eventually find the people you can really relate to and have fun with. Hope this helps and good luck!
-Grace
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
I go to the university of Leicester and it’s been okay. I don’t spend many days on campus just because of how my schedule is set up. I’ve been enjoying my course although it is difficult. Overall though I’ve been so lonely. I haven’t made any good friends or connected with anyone. I took all the advice, joined societies and group chats, talked to my flat mates and was super sociable with the people on my course. But it’s been so difficult and it’s been tainting my whole experience. It feels like everybody had already slipped into their groups, now it’s semester two and I feel quite hopeless. I struggled in school to make friends but did eventually and ended up making great friends in every class at school. I feel like it’s just me, I am quiet but I do try and I have periods where I’m very confident. Honestly, despite how much I’ve been enjoying my course I’m thinking of dropping out and coming back in maybe a year. So I’m honestly looking for advice or for someone to tell me what I should do to make friends or just drop out.
It’s only been a couple days since I wrote this, and in retrospect I was being quite dramatic, but things have already gotten better. I agree with everyone’s advice, I was expecting big, life-long friendships when I’m reality I have made casual but meaningful relationships with people. As the semester starts up I’m gonna continue to grow these connections. Thanks for the advice everyone and hang in there. Lastly, if you’re reading and relating it does get better, you are not isolated and even the slightest connection can mean the world to people.
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