Why do I despise guys?

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#1
I know I am straight, and at the moment I don't want a relationship. I get guys messaging etc. And they would be nice to me and all, but yet I have this anger and hatred feeling inside me towards them and I'm not sure why. And I know it is bad, but yet I go through this constant cycle of being nice, and then completely despising them for no reason and like I said they are nice to me, they aren't rude.

Has any girls ever felt like this?
1
reply
Trinculo
Badges: 21
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#2
Report 2 weeks ago
#2
This sounds like violent, toxic femininity, if you ask me.
3
reply
Anonymous #2
#3
Report 2 weeks ago
#3
I personally have not been in that situation before.
are you perhaps saying that you like the idea of men in your head, hence the reason why you are straight; however, in real life, they are not up to your standard?
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
I personally have not been in that situation before.
are you perhaps saying that you like the idea of men in your head, hence the reason why you are straight; however, in real life, they are not up to your standard?
I wouldn't say they aren't to my standards, because initially I think they are attractive and I get the feeling that I will like them. But then one day, I just get a disgusting feeling and I would block them. I genuinely find it so annoying on why I do it,
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#5
(Original post by Trinculo)
This sounds like violent, toxic femininity, if you ask me.
Not sure how it is violent??? I am just a bit concerned on why I do this, because I don't want to play around with guys :/
0
reply
agnos987
Badges: 16
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#6
Report 2 weeks ago
#6
did anything possibly happen before that might've made you feel that way towards guys?
3
reply
ROTL94 2
Badges: 18
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#7
Report 2 weeks ago
#7
You got mental problems.
2
reply
hungrysalamander
Badges: 19
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#8
Report 2 weeks ago
#8
If you were a guy people would've started calling you an incel within the first 5 comments
5
reply
Slx.24
Badges: 20
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#9
Report 2 weeks ago
#9
(Original post by hungrysalamander)
If you were a guy people would've started calling you an incel within the first 5 comments
Either that or the crux of the matter which is probs mental problems🤷*♂️
0
reply
londonmyst
Badges: 18
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#10
Report 2 weeks ago
#10
You are probably either a: misanthrope, disillusioned online dating site member with anger management difficulties, a misogynist or have some serious mental health issues that affect your moods & interpersonal communication skills.
1
reply
wifd149
Badges: 20
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#11
Report 2 weeks ago
#11
Did you grow up in all-girls school or didn’t have much substantial contact with the opposite gender?
0
reply
KA_P
Badges: 19
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#12
Report 2 weeks ago
#12
I don't think we can answer your question here. Maybe see a specialist.
1
reply
NonIndigenous
Badges: 20
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#13
Report 2 weeks ago
#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
I know I am straight, and at the moment I don't want a relationship. I get guys messaging etc. And they would be nice to me and all, but yet I have this anger and hatred feeling inside me towards them and I'm not sure why. And I know it is bad, but yet I go through this constant cycle of being nice, and then completely despising them for no reason and like I said they are nice to me, they aren't rude.

Has any girls ever felt like this?
Some people like being despised, hated, and spat on. There's a special someone for everyone. :borat:

I have no idea what your problem is. I don't know your history. I can only theorise. But I don't think it is beyond repair, since you are at least able to admit your faults here. Some people can't even do that and might just assume that "all men are sh*t". We all probably know someone like that.

Ideas:
  • A guy assaulted you in your past. One who acted like he was trustworthy, but he wasn't.
  • If you are a very empathic person, something like that could have happened to one your friends instead, but could cause you to react just as strongly (or even more) as if it had happened to you.
  • Or you might be subconsciously assuming that they're attracted to you for stupid/wrong reasons, and that they're only interested in sex... which might make you bad.
  • Perhaps you are perceiving them to be 'needy' and 'annoying', when for whatever reasons in fact, you are just being avoidant and fearful of getting into an intimate relationship. This is a complex can of worms that would be difficult to unpack.

It could be worse. You could be hooking up with them and then just ghosting them afterwards. Or meeting them for a couple of dinner dates for the meal & attention, also just to ghost them. That's what some people with your behavioural pattern do, and then they instead make up excuses why they apparently hate the other person.

Don't do that, even if it might tempt you at some point. It's good that you've already recognised this is a problem. Don't listen to bad advice from stupid people. It is easy to do because there's a lot of contemporary bullsh*t advice out there. Refer them to me instead. I'll tear them a new hole. I enjoy this kind of stuff.

Have good friends that are a good influence. Don't keep friends for example just because you're bored and they are entertaining to hang out with, but treat other people like sh*t and act like there's nothing wrong with it. That would be a good starting point.
Last edited by NonIndigenous; 2 weeks ago
1
reply
Son of the Sea
Badges: 20
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#14
Report 2 weeks ago
#14
Do you by any chance have blue, pink or green coloured hair?
3
reply
0ptics
Badges: 19
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#15
Report 2 weeks ago
#15
(Original post by hungrysalamander)
If you were a guy people would've started calling you an incel within the first 5 comments
PRSOM.
0
reply
CoochieMan
Badges: 21
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#16
Report 2 weeks ago
#16
Have you gone through a traumatising experience with a guy? Not that it would justify your hatred in the slightest but it could be an explanation ig
1
reply
londonmyst
Badges: 18
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#17
Report 2 weeks ago
#17
(Original post by hungrysalamander)
If you were a guy people would've started calling you an incel within the first 5 comments
Only those people who have no idea what involuntary celibate actually means.
OP gives the impression of a heterosexual female who is voluntarily celibate and not in a relationship because she doesn't want one.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#18
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#18
(Original post by wifd149)
Did you grow up in all-girls school or didn’t have much substantial contact with the opposite gender?
Nope went to a mixed school, and I used to have guy mates
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#19
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#19
(Original post by NonIndigenous)
Some people like being despised, hated, and spat on. There's a special someone for everyone. :borat:

I have no idea what your problem is. I don't know your history. I can only theorise. But I don't think it is beyond repair, since you are at least able to admit your faults here. Some people can't even do that and might just assume that "all men are sh*t". We all probably know someone like that.

Ideas:
  • A guy assaulted you in your past. One who acted like he was trustworthy, but he wasn't.
  • If you are a very empathic person, something like that could have happened to one your friends instead, but could cause you to react just as strongly (or even more) as if it had happened to you.
  • Or you might be subconsciously assuming that they're attracted to you for stupid/wrong reasons, and that they're only interested in sex... which might make you bad.
  • Perhaps you are perceiving them to be 'needy' and 'annoying', when for whatever reasons in fact, you are just being avoidant and fearful of getting into an intimate relationship. This is a complex can of worms that would be difficult to unpack.

It could be worse. You could be hooking up with them and then just ghosting them afterwards. Or meeting them for a couple of dinner dates for the meal & attention, also just to ghost them. That's what some people with your behavioural pattern do, and then they instead make up excuses why they apparently hate the other person.

Don't do that, even if it might tempt you at some point. It's good that you've already recognised this is a problem. Don't listen to bad advice from stupid people. It is easy to do because there's a lot of contemporary bullsh*t advice out there. Refer them to me instead. I'll tear them a new hole. I enjoy this kind of stuff.

Have good friends that are a good influence. Don't keep friends for example just because you're bored and they are entertaining to hang out with, but treat other people like sh*t and act like there's nothing wrong with it. That would be a good starting point.
Hahah no I don't think guys are sh*t, I just struggle with the feelings of anger, it is so frustrating but I just can't seem to bear it, because I know it is wrong.

Thank you for this post, better than the other ones I have read here. I am learning more about myself, and this seems to kinda struck me and a problem that I seem to struggle to understand. I really appreciate this
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#20
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#20
(Original post by Son of the Sea)
Do you by any chance have blue, pink or green coloured hair?
Nope brown hair hehe
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

When did you submit your Ucas application if you applied to go to university this year?

September 2021 (36)
6.47%
October 2021 (252)
45.32%
November 2021 (66)
11.87%
December 2021 (69)
12.41%
January 2021 (72)
12.95%
I still haven't submitted it yet! (44)
7.91%
Something else (17)
3.06%

Watched Threads

View All