Should I ditch my friends?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
Hi, ever since I have back to school this year my friends have just gotten worse. It’s got more awkward now and the first lockdowns and every lockdown after that contributed to it. Even before we didn’t do anything outside of school. Now nobody can even talk to each other in the group chat and nobody checks in on me when I check on them. It’s got to the point where I give up messaging. There is an old friend I was thinking of rekindling with so I could hang out with his group instead. The group I’m in now makes me feel isolated and left out and I don’t feel like I can relate to anything they talk about at breaks and lunches etc. Am I the bad person? I genuinely haven’t done anything wrong and I feel really negative every day as a result of this. Why won’t anybody talk to me? I swear they take me for granted because I do things for them. I go above and beyond to make sure they’re alright. There is this one “friend” that has been horrible ever since we started school. He makes me feel left out and doesn’t appreciate me. I’m literally leaving school to go to uni and I doubt he even knows that I’ve applied. I hate him and all my friends talk with him and he acts like I’m not there so I just try to ignore him - it’s hard. I always end up feeling like the guilty person. I tried setting days out to the cinema and it’s like I’m forcing them. Nobody seems bothered about socialising. I know I shouldn’t bother about what other people think about us but if someone was to walk past they’d see how weird our friendship is. It seems like some teacher put us in some group to work in forcefully. Should I ditch them? I would find it hard confronting somebody as when I started to open up they just called me jealous so that’s what I believe they perceive me as. I’m not jealous, I’m mad about how the past was so good and now things have turned to sh*t. Things should’ve got better, not from better to worse. I was thinking of rekindling with an old friend (long story) and DM’ing him with a long message about how I’m sorry how things have been over the years but I don’t know how I could worm my way in to joining his group. It seems awkward, cringe and desperate. How would I go about this? We had one argument years ago but exactly as the new year went (2022) he sent me a happy new year message (unlike that 1 rude friend I talked about earlier) and he asked me how I was in class saying we hadn’t talked in ages but the bell rang for the end of the school day so he had to go. I wish we could’ve finished it but I would’ve ran out of things to say as I get awkward and my social anxiety gets the better of me so I thought why did I view him as the enemy? When he was the good guy all along thinking to myself that I wanna be friends with this guy - he seems to genuinely care that we hadn’t talked in aged. Recently, I started to avoid my friends when walking home and now putting 2 earphones in so I can’t hear what they say to each other. Why does this stuff bother me unlike other people? Anyway rant over and apologises it was so long. Thanks for reading, I appreciate it.
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 3 months ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi, ever since I have back to school this year my friends have just gotten worse. It’s got more awkward now and the first lockdowns and every lockdown after that contributed to it. Even before we didn’t do anything outside of school. Now nobody can even talk to each other in the group chat and nobody checks in on me when I check on them. It’s got to the point where I give up messaging. There is an old friend I was thinking of rekindling with so I could hang out with his group instead. The group I’m in now makes me feel isolated and left out and I don’t feel like I can relate to anything they talk about at breaks and lunches etc. Am I the bad person? I genuinely haven’t done anything wrong and I feel really negative every day as a result of this. Why won’t anybody talk to me? I swear they take me for granted because I do things for them. I go above and beyond to make sure they’re alright. There is this one “friend” that has been horrible ever since we started school. He makes me feel left out and doesn’t appreciate me. I’m literally leaving school to go to uni and I doubt he even knows that I’ve applied. I hate him and all my friends talk with him and he acts like I’m not there so I just try to ignore him - it’s hard. I always end up feeling like the guilty person. I tried setting days out to the cinema and it’s like I’m forcing them. Nobody seems bothered about socialising. I know I shouldn’t bother about what other people think about us but if someone was to walk past they’d see how weird our friendship is. It seems like some teacher put us in some group to work in forcefully. Should I ditch them? I would find it hard confronting somebody as when I started to open up they just called me jealous so that’s what I believe they perceive me as. I’m not jealous, I’m mad about how the past was so good and now things have turned to sh*t. Things should’ve got better, not from better to worse. I was thinking of rekindling with an old friend (long story) and DM’ing him with a long message about how I’m sorry how things have been over the years but I don’t know how I could worm my way in to joining his group. It seems awkward, cringe and desperate. How would I go about this? We had one argument years ago but exactly as the new year went (2022) he sent me a happy new year message (unlike that 1 rude friend I talked about earlier) and he asked me how I was in class saying we hadn’t talked in ages but the bell rang for the end of the school day so he had to go. I wish we could’ve finished it but I would’ve ran out of things to say as I get awkward and my social anxiety gets the better of me so I thought why did I view him as the enemy? When he was the good guy all along thinking to myself that I wanna be friends with this guy - he seems to genuinely care that we hadn’t talked in aged. Recently, I started to avoid my friends when walking home and now putting 2 earphones in so I can’t hear what they say to each other. Why does this stuff bother me unlike other people? Anyway rant over and apologises it was so long. Thanks for reading, I appreciate it.
Go and message that friend. There’s not much to lose. I was in a similar situation at school. I had a small amount of friends. In year 10 and 11, most of my friends had the same classes and I always felt left out. I felt isolated. I have always been complimented on my kind and caring nature, yet I was left out. I have always been shy and introverted, which is probably one of the main reasons I’ve always struggled to make and maintain friends. I’ve recently stopped talking to the last friend I had in that friend group (I’m now 21). I feel very sad about it as we had been very close friends since the beginning of school, but now we’re getting on with different things. I don’t drink and I feel like socialising at this age is difficult when you don’t. I’ve realised that everyone in that group at school weren’t actually very nice, and I’m now glad that I’m not friends with them. When you go to uni or wherever you go, I recommend trying to join any social groups to make the most out of it. It’s something I really regret not doing as I live at home whilst studying. Your ‘friends’ don’t sound like they are your friends. Good luck
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
Go and message that friend. There’s not much to lose. I was in a similar situation at school. I had a small amount of friends. In year 10 and 11, most of my friends had the same classes and I always felt left out. I felt isolated. I have always been complimented on my kind and caring nature, yet I was left out. I have always been shy and introverted, which is probably one of the main reasons I’ve always struggled to make and maintain friends. I’ve recently stopped talking to the last friend I had in that friend group (I’m now 21). I feel very sad about it as we had been very close friends since the beginning of school, but now we’re getting on with different things. I don’t drink and I feel like socialising at this age is difficult when you don’t. I’ve realised that everyone in that group at school weren’t actually very nice, and I’m now glad that I’m not friends with them. When you go to uni or wherever you go, I recommend trying to join any social groups to make the most out of it. It’s something I really regret not doing as I live at home whilst studying. Your ‘friends’ don’t sound like they are your friends. Good luck
Thank you! I’ll go and message that friend over the weekend to save myself the anxiety of waiting for an answer haha. Im glad everything worked out for you and I hope mine can end up like yours. I don’t want to regret those relationships though, they ultimately would help me know who is a good friend and who is not in future. And I know what mistakes not to make again. Anyway, thanks!
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Anonymous #2
#4
Report 3 months ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you! I’ll go and message that friend over the weekend to save myself the anxiety of waiting for an answer haha. Im glad everything worked out for you and I hope mine can end up like yours. I don’t want to regret those relationships though, they ultimately would help me know who is a good friend and who is not in future. And I know what mistakes not to make again. Anyway, thanks!
Ah good 😊 yeah, you learn from these experiences so it is helpful! No problem
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username5884212
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#5
Report 3 months ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you! I’ll go and message that friend over the weekend to save myself the anxiety of waiting for an answer haha. Im glad everything worked out for you and I hope mine can end up like yours. I don’t want to regret those relationships though, they ultimately would help me know who is a good friend and who is not in future. And I know what mistakes not to make again. Anyway, thanks!
did you message him yet? how did it goooooooo. Also good luck on getting into your university and ditch people who don't treat you right. Theres no point doing right by someone who couldnt care less to do it back <33
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#6
(Original post by dawg101)
did you message him yet? how did it goooooooo. Also good luck on getting into your university and ditch people who don't treat you right. Theres no point doing right by someone who couldnt care less to do it back <33
Hi, yes I did. Turns out he was really understanding and he’s not been doing himself as he said he was depressed for most of the time. I feel really guilty by not doing this sooner but I’ve reminded him that I’m always here so I’m glad we talked. Thank you! I really do hope I get at least 1 offer. So true
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username5884212
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#7
Report 3 months ago
#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi, yes I did. Turns out he was really understanding and he’s not been doing himself as he said he was depressed for most of the time. I feel really guilty by not doing this sooner but I’ve reminded him that I’m always here so I’m glad we talked. Thank you! I really do hope I get at least 1 offer. So true
im so so happy for youu
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Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#8
(Original post by dawg101)
im so so happy for youu
Thanks 😀
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