Hi, ever since I have back to school this year my friends have just gotten worse. It’s got more awkward now and the first lockdowns and every lockdown after that contributed to it. Even before we didn’t do anything outside of school. Now nobody can even talk to each other in the group chat and nobody checks in on me when I check on them. It’s got to the point where I give up messaging. There is an old friend I was thinking of rekindling with so I could hang out with his group instead. The group I’m in now makes me feel isolated and left out and I don’t feel like I can relate to anything they talk about at breaks and lunches etc. Am I the bad person? I genuinely haven’t done anything wrong and I feel really negative every day as a result of this. Why won’t anybody talk to me? I swear they take me for granted because I do things for them. I go above and beyond to make sure they’re alright. There is this one “friend” that has been horrible ever since we started school. He makes me feel left out and doesn’t appreciate me. I’m literally leaving school to go to uni and I doubt he even knows that I’ve applied. I hate him and all my friends talk with him and he acts like I’m not there so I just try to ignore him - it’s hard. I always end up feeling like the guilty person. I tried setting days out to the cinema and it’s like I’m forcing them. Nobody seems bothered about socialising. I know I shouldn’t bother about what other people think about us but if someone was to walk past they’d see how weird our friendship is. It seems like some teacher put us in some group to work in forcefully. Should I ditch them? I would find it hard confronting somebody as when I started to open up they just called me jealous so that’s what I believe they perceive me as. I’m not jealous, I’m mad about how the past was so good and now things have turned to sh*t. Things should’ve got better, not from better to worse. I was thinking of rekindling with an old friend (long story) and DM’ing him with a long message about how I’m sorry how things have been over the years but I don’t know how I could worm my way in to joining his group. It seems awkward, cringe and desperate. How would I go about this? We had one argument years ago but exactly as the new year went (2022) he sent me a happy new year message (unlike that 1 rude friend I talked about earlier) and he asked me how I was in class saying we hadn’t talked in ages but the bell rang for the end of the school day so he had to go. I wish we could’ve finished it but I would’ve ran out of things to say as I get awkward and my social anxiety gets the better of me so I thought why did I view him as the enemy? When he was the good guy all along thinking to myself that I wanna be friends with this guy - he seems to genuinely care that we hadn’t talked in aged. Recently, I started to avoid my friends when walking home and now putting 2 earphones in so I can’t hear what they say to each other. Why does this stuff bother me unlike other people? Anyway rant over and apologises it was so long. Thanks for reading, I appreciate it.