I’m scared of going to my university

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
#1
I used to be a very lonely child and bullied a lot. After starting high school I was able to get some of my confidence back and made good friends. However, the university I got accepted to is the best one in the country and it is farrr far away from my home city. It is a huge city, has a completely different culture. Most of the students are very successful, social and stuff. Their culture and the one I come from is so different. I’ve never been to a party, for example, and they’ve already been to so many. They have it in their culture, drinking and partying freely. But I don’t have it in mine. Although I’m very excited to be doing all the university stuff, like partying, socializing, joining clubs, getting new friends, I can’t help but feel like a loser when I look at them, like I was still the lonely bullied child. I’m not as successful as they are, not that social, not that outgoing, not that confident. I’m scared to even go to the campus because of how there will be people and I will be shy. How can I get rid of this feeling? Because it’s been turning my days into hell
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hallamstudents
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#2
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Hi, I think you are making assumptions about these people you have yet to meet, assuming how they are all going to act and assuming how they will treat you. Every person there is an individual like you, with different experiences, cultures, and likes and dislikes. Not everyone is going to want to party, I am sure many events will be organised with different cultures in mind. You also won't be the only person going there that isn't from that city, I am sure there are others who are also worried and nervous about starting uni. It is a big change, especially if it is far from home, so it is natural to be worried. However, it is important to see this as an irrational fear and understand that it is not based in fact. If I were you I would face one of these fears by going to the campus. Attend an open day even if you have already been accepted, allow yourself to be happy that you got in and see that your fears were unfounded. I think you'll have a great time if you just let yourself.

One thing you can do since you are nervous is when you know which accommodation and room you are going to be in, start a group chat with the other people who will be living with you and get to know them a bit before you move in.

Remember, you have got in the the same university they have, no one should treat you as a loser. Just be friendly and approachable and see what happens.

- Rosie
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Joleee
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#3
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i don't understand how do you know what the students are like if you haven't started university yet?

if you're going to 'the best uni in the country' then chance are you're going to find a lot of studious nerds who are too busy studying rather than partying; i think you're worrying over nothing
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University of Derby
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I used to be a very lonely child and bullied a lot. After starting high school I was able to get some of my confidence back and made good friends. However, the university I got accepted to is the best one in the country and it is farrr far away from my home city. It is a huge city, has a completely different culture. Most of the students are very successful, social and stuff. Their culture and the one I come from is so different. I’ve never been to a party, for example, and they’ve already been to so many. They have it in their culture, drinking and partying freely. But I don’t have it in mine. Although I’m very excited to be doing all the university stuff, like partying, socializing, joining clubs, getting new friends, I can’t help but feel like a loser when I look at them, like I was still the lonely bullied child. I’m not as successful as they are, not that social, not that outgoing, not that confident. I’m scared to even go to the campus because of how there will be people and I will be shy. How can I get rid of this feeling? Because it’s been turning my days into hell
Hi there,

It's important to remember that university is one of the most diverse environments you'll come across, people from all sorts of backgrounds, regions, religions and interests. Plus, there are typically around 20,000 students at each university. So, there is bound to be a few like-minded people you meet that you get along with. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking you won't make friends, and at first it may feel like you never will - but after a few months, you'll probably be truly settled in. Make sure to visit an Open Day to get a feel for the place, and look out for social media groups you can join to chat to students planning to go to the same university (or sometimes the same halls of residence) ahead of your course.

Best of luck
James, Student Rep
Last edited by University of Derby; 4 days ago
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Admit-One
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#5
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Most unis will allow you to give preferences for the kind of people that you want to be housed with. So if you find outgoing, party-centric people overwhelming, you can usually avoid them and be housed with a calmer group.

Societies are a great way to dip your feet into the social side, but in a more structured way than bars etc. You'll often find people with the same interests are on a similar wavelength to you.
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