Advice on loosing your virginity.

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Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
Hi! I am 18 (female) and as you can probs tell I am still a virgin. I am currently in a bit of a situtionship with a guy and we have been talking abt taking things further. But I am kinda worried I will regret it because (1) we aren't in a relationship and (2) he doesn't know what he wants from this. I have I asked if he wanted the relationship to be purely sex but he said he doesn't know. I wanted to get some advice abt losing it and regret people have had or things I should avoid. I am not so much worried abt how it will feel the first time but the person I loose it to because it is a big deal for me. I am not sure if I should even make it even this big of a deal and I worry I might be over thinking everything.
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Anonymous #2
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Hello! I don’t think you’re overthinking at all.. I think this comes down to what sex means to you vs what sex means to him. There’s no right or wrong way to feel about sex as long as you’re safe, respect yourself and are happy to have or to not have it! I would say if this person is not clear on what they expect/ want from this relationship then it might be a sign for you to be even more clear about what you want. Losing your virginity doesn’t have to be a massive deal.. but if you have any doubts about how you may feel after, how comfortable you would be with this person and if you would enjoy it then it might be a good opportunity to think considerably about how you feel about sex/ sexual partners. You have mentioned it is a big deal for you - I was exactly the same and waited until I was 23 which in this day and age is a bit odd haha.. but I have zero regrets waiting and am thankful I did but it aligned with my values about sex. Sorry such a rant I’ve went on!! Basically - there’s no right or wrong way, resort yourself and understand your own values/ideas about sex before jumping in with both feet! Best of luck to you xx
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Anonymous #2
#3
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Respect yourself*
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Anonymous #1
#4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hello! I don’t think you’re overthinking at all.. I think this comes down to what sex means to you vs what sex means to him. There’s no right or wrong way to feel about sex as long as you’re safe, respect yourself and are happy to have or to not have it! I would say if this person is not clear on what they expect/ want from this relationship then it might be a sign for you to be even more clear about what you want. Losing your virginity doesn’t have to be a massive deal.. but if you have any doubts about how you may feel after, how comfortable you would be with this person and if you would enjoy it then it might be a good opportunity to think considerably about how you feel about sex/ sexual partners. You have mentioned it is a big deal for you - I was exactly the same and waited until I was 23 which in this day and age is a bit odd haha.. but I have zero regrets waiting and am thankful I did but it aligned with my values about sex. Sorry such a rant I’ve went on!! Basically - there’s no right or wrong way, resort yourself and understand your own values/ideas about sex before jumping in with both feet! Best of luck to you xx
can I ask, when you lost it did you feel like nervous when you were loosing it. I feel like if I lost it to this person in the moment I would still be like is this the right decision? Was it a hard decision to make to loose when the time came or was it quite comfortable to come to that conclusion ?
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LittleBear04
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You will know when the time is right - the fact OP is asking suggests not. Take your time and don't rush.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
can I ask, when you lost it did you feel like nervous when you were loosing it. I feel like if I lost it to this person in the moment I would still be like is this the right decision? Was it a hard decision to make to loose when the time came or was it quite comfortable to come to that conclusion ?
I didn’t feel nervous at all! We had been dating for a couple of months and I just felt really comfortable with him. That’s not to say you have to date someone or whatever to feel comfortable! But when you’re with this person if you don’t feel 100% confident and comfortable then it may be a sign it’s not the right person/time.. that’s only my experience though and I’m happy it happened how it did but it doesn’t mean that in exactly the same scenario every other woman would feel happy about it if you know what I mean. Only you will know when you feel comfortable with that guy and if it feels right! I would just say it should be something that is exciting and maybe a bit nerve wracking but I don’t think it should be a massive deal or making you anxious, if the thought of it does then maybe just give it a little bit more time to think about..
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Anonymous #2
#7
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(Original post by LittleBear04)
You will know when the time is right - the fact OP is asking suggests not. Take your time and don't rush.
I would agree with this. I know it may seem a bit too far lol but there are amazing resources out there that put it into words much better than any of us could. Look for some podcasts to listen to or books to read, they can really help you understand it all better. I’m not trying to sound patronising - these were the things I listened to and read that helped me so much, so it’s worth a try!
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