Moving jobs for the first time

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ghost_1
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#1
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#1
Hi,

I'm moving jobs for the first time.

I've been in my current job for just over 5 years since i joined as a graduate and will be leaving.

Something that is making me really sad is not being able to see a colleague that i really enjoy talking to anymore and I dont know how to deal with this?

For context I'm a male and my colleague is female and I've known her for 3 years. Next monday is my last day and probably the last time i will see or speak to her.

Can someone help with my issue?

Thanks
Last edited by ghost_1; 4 months ago
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Wired_1800
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#2
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#2
(Original post by ghost_1)
Hi,

I'm moving jobs for the first time.

I've been in my current job for just over 5 years since i joined as a graduate and will be leaving.

Something that is making me really sad is not being able to see a colleague that i really enjoy talking to anymore and I dont know how to deal with this?

For context I'm a male and my colleague is female and I've known her for 3 years. Next monday is my last day and probably the last time i will see or speak to her.

Can someone help with my issue?

Thanks
Moving jobs is normal and you are part of the ‘Great Resignation’. The key is for you to get closure on your departure and begin to see yourself in the next stage at your new job.

If you have feelings for your “work wife”, then you should tell her. Regret is worse than rejection.

If it is just a friendly connection and you will remain in the same location e.g. same city, then agree to have regular catch ups and make sure you follow through with it e.g. monthly lunches or drinks at the pub etc.
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ghost_1
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#3
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#3
(Original post by Wired_1800)
Moving jobs is normal and you are part of the ‘Great Resignation’. The key is for you to get closure on your departure and begin to see yourself in the next stage at your new job.

If you have feelings for your “work wife”, then you should tell her. Regret is worse than rejection.

If it is just a friendly connection and you will remain in the same location e.g. same city, then agree to have regular catch ups and make sure you follow through with it e.g. monthly lunches or drinks at the pub etc.
I dont know if i have feelings for her tbh. I dont think I find myself physically attracted to her but I enjoy her company and talking.
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Wired_1800
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#4
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#4
(Original post by ghost_1)
I dont know if i have feelings for her tbh. I dont think I find myself physically attracted to her but I enjoy her company and talking.
That’s fair. You could seek to maintain your friendship beyond Monday; maybe take her number and continue contacting her.
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ghost_1
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#5
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#5
(Original post by Wired_1800)
That’s fair. You could seek to maintain your friendship beyond Monday; maybe take her number and continue contacting her.
Yh I could do. I think my problem is not being the best at staying in contact with people and that probably stems from thinking that the other person probably doesnt want stay in contact therefore coming across as annoying.
Last edited by ghost_1; 4 months ago
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Wired_1800
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#6
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#6
(Original post by ghost_1)
Yh I could do. I think my problem is not being the best at staying in contact with people and that probably stems from thinking that the other person probably doesnt want stay in contact therefore coming across as annoying.
That’s a fair concern to have but you have to push beyond that thought. If you have been proper friends for 3 years, then it should not be a problem imho.

Also, if you fancy her or she fancies you, then 3 years provide a good platform to build a relationship.
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Other_Owl
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#7
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#7
Adults have to make painful decisions sometimes in their life. Even if its for the best of them.
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skylark2
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#8
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#8
Where I work, it's normal for people to send round a "goodbye" email which includes an email address which will work after they leave the company. If you do that, and she feels the same way about your relationship that you do, she'll contact you.
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ghost_1
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#9
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#9
(Original post by Wired_1800)
That’s a fair concern to have but you have to push beyond that thought. If you have been proper friends for 3 years, then it should not be a problem imho.

Also, if you fancy her or she fancies you, then 3 years provide a good platform to build a relationship.
I ended up asking for her number by messaging through work chat yesterday which was my last day and she replied with “loool”.

By the time I saw her reply it was 2 minutes old and I just handed in my laptop after that straightaway. My friend said I should’ve have waited a little longer to see if she said anything else.

I guess I was just a friend at work. I felt immediately sad and then embarrassed. Wish I never asked.

Yesterday after work she commented on insta story which I just ignored.
Last edited by ghost_1; 3 months ago
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Wired_1800
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#10
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#10
(Original post by ghost_1)
I ended up asking for her number by messaging through work chat yesterday which was my last day and she replied with “loool”.

By the time I saw her reply it was 2 minutes old and I just handed in my laptop after that straightaway. My friend said I should’ve have waited a little longer to see if she said anything else.

I guess I was just a friend at work. I felt immediately sad and then embarrassed. Wish I never asked.

Yesterday after work she commented on insta story which I just ignored.
Wow, that was harsh. Your friend is right that you should have waited to see whether she responded again. You have to take it on the chin, it is part of life.

For next steps, it is up to you. You could try to salvage the “friendship” via instagram or let it go. Good luck
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user432
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#11
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#11
(Original post by Wired_1800)
Wow, that was harsh. Your friend is right that you should have waited to see whether she responded again. You have to take it on the chin, it is part of life.

For next steps, it is up to you. You could try to salvage the “friendship” via instagram or let it go. Good luck
dont salvage it what. you tryna get my boy finished lmaooooooo
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Wired_1800
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#12
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#12
(Original post by user432)
dont salvage it what. you tryna get my boy finished lmaooooooo
No, I was giving him a way out. It’s painful to have been on a path for 3 years and it to end with “loool”. That was harsh.
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user432
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Wired_1800)
No, I was giving him a way out. It’s painful to have been on a path for 3 years and it to end with “loool”. That was harsh.
doesnt salvage mean like fix or build up? its painful but dont keep trying. you gots to move on, cant be caught slacking twice.
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Wired_1800
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#14
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#14
(Original post by user432)
doesnt salvage mean like fix or build up? its painful but dont keep trying. you gots to move on, cant be caught slacking twice.
True. I guess he has to move on.
Last edited by Wired_1800; 3 months ago
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ghost_1
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#15
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#15
(Original post by Wired_1800)
Wow, that was harsh. Your friend is right that you should have waited to see whether she responded again. You have to take it on the chin, it is part of life.

For next steps, it is up to you. You could try to salvage the “friendship” via instagram or let it go. Good luck
One of my friends told me I should’ve wait too and I agree I should have.

She replied to my insta story which I don’t really understand and she could’ve given me her number on insta too.

I don’t have any intention of asking again. But feel a little embarrassed and will take some time to get over it.

Thanks for the advice.
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