no one wants to talk to me in university

I have just started my second semester and live in uni accomodation full off 9 people. Most of my flatmates dont speak as much, but there is one flat mate who i got on very well with but we dont go on nights out together as he goes with other people from his course.

i have tried making friends in my course but, it feels like they dont want to be, and ignoring me. i have no clue what to do. Well my group is small only containing about 28 people, but 2/3 of them are from abroad and dont speak english that well or they just have airpods in 24/7.

I can't make close mates or mate's at all. I am a shy person when in comes to talking to people but still. I dont have any mates at uni so i stay in my room all day. I dont know what to do anymore?

Reply 1

Kookoo153

Original post by Anonymous

Omg don’t worry you’ll be fine promise! Just try staying as positive as possible about your unj experience and just keep attempting to mingle. Maybe you could ask some of them if they want to go on a night out. Or you could join a club? Xx

Reply 2

coco:)

You've just got to muster up the courage to say hi. After that, you'll probably talk about coursework and stuff in your course - it's a common thing between you. Then maybe ask about other things that you're interested in - things to watch, going out, sports, etc. And if you guys get along really well ask them what they're doing afterwards and maybe hang out. Try and exchange numbers; that way you can keep in contact with them too.

Also, there's nothing stopping you from being friends with international students - 4/5 of my friends are international! It does take a while. I didn't make any friends in the first week and I was actively trying to talk with everyone - very tiring for my introverted self! You'll eventually find someone though and they may even introduce you to more people! Good luck! :h:

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 3

hikahika

I just moved to a new school three months ago and I felt the same way. Nobody would talk to me!
so I thought it'd be better to work on it myself.

i approached a group and though we aren't super close. we still hang it during lunch and I don't feel lonely anymore

Good luck!!

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Have you tried joining a society or club? I think that would help when trying to make friends.

Reply 5

Shaderhoth

You can try creating a course group chat for everyone on the course to discuss stuff, it's a good way to get phone numbers, and introduce yourself to people at the same time

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by Shaderhoth

You can try creating a course group chat for everyone on the course to discuss stuff, it's a good way to get phone numbers, and introduce yourself to people at the same time

we do have one but no one talks and i have introduced but they air the message

Reply 7

Anonymous #3

just go up to them and chat to them. if u aint a weirdo then theyll talk to you. not that hard.

Reply 8

dzir

Original post by Anonymous

just go up to them and chat to them. if u aint a weirdo then theyll talk to you. not that hard.

Your comment is not helpful in any way, would love to hear your definition of a “weirdo”, not! Trot on !

Reply 9

Z_101

Original post by Anonymous

just go up to them and chat to them. if u aint a weirdo then theyll talk to you. not that hard.

This is actually inconsiderate to say, even not being a “weirdo” it’s still hard to made friends. You’d think if we could make friends in primary school it’d be easier as an adult, but it most defo isn’t.

I was in a similar situation, spent the entirety of first year alone in coffee shops, with no friends. Try to speak to your class about small thing “how’s that essay going, do you know the answer to this? How are you ect”

If all else fails don’t worry, uni classes are strange. Join a society, they’re more social and people are looking to make friends. Go to local events. Even consider getting a job. It makes all the difference.

but above all remember your best friend is always you, enjoy your own company, you’ll learn so much about yourself in this journey! Drop me a message if you’d like to chat!

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by Z_101

thanks you so much. i will definitely look into considering a society.

Reply 11

Anonymous #4

Hi, I was once a shy kid but now I can make friends with anyone. here are my top tips

1) MOST IMPORTANT, you have to learn to say "Hi" first, people find it very hard to say "hi" first so try this . This worked wonders for me

2) Realise that being nice will not make you popular, being too nice will just make you look weird, You should try to ask questions about them and try to relate to them.

"Yo mate , how you doing? You look kinda nice in that hat , sheeesh." " you look like you also like designer, what brands you into?"

(you don't have to say "sheesh" btw)

3) be yourself , nobody likes fakes. be loyal aswell. Don't sound like you have no interest in talking to them because nobody likes people who sound like they are only talking to you because they have no one else . make them feel special and tingly.Good luck dawg

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

yes good idea thx.
i can go up to a road man and say "whats up g", "where u from cuz", "Lemme get ur number", "oi that looks peng bruv" etc.

How do i sound like i have interest in talking to them?:

Reply 13

Anonymous #4

Original post by Anonymous

yes good idea thx.
i can go up to a road man and say "whats up g", "where u from cuz", "Lemme get ur number", "oi that looks peng bruv" etc.

How do i sound like i have interest in talking to them?:

lol your funny

Reply 14

Kimberley Quegan

Don't worry, everyone probably feels as isolated as you but is to afraid to admit it, so pretends to be busy.Joining a society is the best way to meet people cause you have something In common to talk about. People join societies because they want to socialise.You might be surprised. Im a third year and got talking to a girl in a society with. She told me she was nervous to go to socials because everyone else is older than her and she doesn't want to feel pressured to drink. Next time, we're going to buddy up so neither of us feels uncomfortable and can leave if everyone wants to drink afterwards!

Reply 15

Anonymous #5

Hi this is actually what worries me when I hopefully start uni in September, I’m super super worried but excited but feel as though I won’t be interesting enough for people and that I’ll also be ignored like at college and high school. Maybe I try too hard? But I always show myself to be a good and a kind person that’s quite extroverted with lots of interesting facts but maybe it’s because I don’t watch Netflix or anything like that which contributes to it. I hope there’s a group of friends that will be happy to let me join. And I wish the best for you. Become friends with that guy and get his contact info and tell him to go out to bars or something interesting?

Reply 16

University of Bradford

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous

Hey!

I'm glad to hear you get on very well with one of your flat mates, have you tried speaking to them about arranging a night out with you? Or perhaps you could plan something different, a walk, shopping, a meal.

Have you considered joining a club or society as a way to meet people with similar interests to you? It'll help make conversation that bit easier then. You could even look into volunteering, part-time work on campus or becoming a student ambassador as new ways to meet new people.

I wish you the best of luck with your second semester :smile: